ALBION TUBE STATION XI

When I last penned a themed Albion side on the subject of food, I got absolutely panned by the many TSLRites I frequent away matches with. That was just one reason why we wanted to remain anoynomous when we initially created the TSLR beast but, in selling copies, we've realised you end having to know some people. And those people know (and tell you) when you write shite. And I'm the first to admit that shite was written in my Albion Food XI in which the only real joke was Radostin Quicheishev. But now I've had a few weeks away from the Albion (and a few weeks away from dissenting voices), I thought it time I step up for what is my third themed Albion eleven - this time it's based on Tube stations in London. A theme widened out to include London Overground and DLR services because I'm not wasting as much of my time on this one. Feel free to read on, it's better than reading about King kazenga LuaLua. Again. And even if he does sign, he still won't be exciting until he actually plays football.

1. Michael LadPoke Grove - this jug eared (and retained) keeper is known to travel on the Circle or Hammersmith and City Line.

2. Matthew Hackney Wicks - the defender can revert to right-back on London Overground.

3. Westferry Mayo - OK, so the dodgy kneed ginger prince is actually on the DLR but it all counts, right?

4. Warren Street Aspinall - this veteran grey haired baldy can be found on the Victoria Line. Usually asking for money in a polystyrene cup.

5. Colin Goldhawkins Road - the Irish own goal superstar is on both the Circle and Hammersmith and City lines.

6. Steve Cockfosters - the headbanded warrior is located on the east end of the Piccadilly Line.

7. Matt Sparrow and Wealdstone - Spadge hangs around at the top of the Bakerloo Line and is sometimes available at Sparrow-on-the-Hill on the Metropolitan Line or even North, South and West Sparrow which are all in the same area.

8. Elm Park Barham - the right sided midfielder is way out east on the District Line. Incidentally, Mark played for England.

9. Leon Kinghtsbridge - the gambling superstar and footballing disappointment is west on the Piccadilly Line.

10. Ashley High Barne(s)t - our current main striker sits on the west strand at the northern tip of the Northern Line.

11. Liverpaul McDonald Street - this tricky winger can be found on a few London Underground lines and is a mainline rail station. Like a train, the Scot used to leave the station and come back to do the same journey again and again.

And of course, they'd be managed by Russell Square Slade on the Piccadilly Line. And a special mention goes to substitute keeper Casper Bankergren on the Central Line. Thank you, and goodnight.