What with Valentines day coming up and most of you attending the sold-out home game with Millwall as opposed to a romantic meal with your better half, we thought we'd check out the club shop and source the top gifts for your loved ones. Apologies for the sort of sexism that would make Poyet blush but these gifts are soley for the ladiez.
We've gone for the money shot at number one. Featuring a t-shirt currently residing in the bargain basement of the club shop, unforrunately you won't get the Gullys Girl thrown in. We thought that this one could be a bit risky with the prominant Donatello's logo on the front, it's sort of like 'here's what you could've won'.
Next up, and it's a beauty from the oft-derided jewellery counter at the club shop. Somewhere there's a load of old Dick Knight era bling waiting to melted down but our merchandise gurus where quick to order in new logo stock for the start of the season. Some might say this gold/silver effort would make Jimmy Saville shirk but this is still en vogue in Saltdean.
Your WAG's trips to the Holmebush with the kids on a Saturday afternoon are all fine and dandy but add that Albion touch by getting her to stick this up in the back of her Suzuki Swift. Though the colloquial meaing of the term Baby Seagull is quite clear in these parts, there is a chance there could actually be a baby seagull in your exhaust during the winged-beasts silly season and in those circumstances we recommend you call the RSPCA.
This is just the worst. We're not convinced about pink merchandise for female fans, it could be seen as a little backwards in these times of equality; Yes, women are plentiful at our community stadium and we reject the old stereotyping of traditional white, working-class male crowds, but we will ask you to wear the replica kit in baby pink.
Girlz like make-up right? This is what we've been told anyway, and the club haven't missed a trick here. Admittedly the colour range is a little limiting but we hear that primary colours are all the rage in that there London. If your petite amie rejects this gesture then you can use the kit for your own face and attract the attention of the ESPN cameras at Anfield on Saturday. Win, win.