the seagull love review

FANZINES THAT AREN’T US #2

2012-01-24T15:18:00.008Z

When The Ball Moves (WTBM) is a Burnley publication that accepted a commendable but questionable exchange deal when the Lancastrians visited Falmer last month. Their hymn sheet is priced at £1.50 so the swap deal saw them lose out on a full 50 pence of theoretical profit. Many a time do criticisms get levelled at fanzines for their positive attitude towards themselves and the cover image with Sepp Blatter certainly suggests that us fanzine editors are rammed firmly up our own behinds.

From their Facebook page, someone has summed up WTBM (and fanzines generally) perfectly: "A fanzine written by Burnley fans for people who don't want to pay £3 for a proper programme."

Articles that appear in the early pages of this - issue 94 - are based on stat porn and historical themes. Both are enjoyable reads but when thinking about articles TSLR writes (we only read other fanzines to steal article ideas), the BHACHS quarterly publication takes on this task and delivers on stat and historical pornography well. In fact, one of the first issues of TSLR featured an article of historical interest but there just weren't enough jokes in it to be given a permanent spot.

WTBM has a corking piece on Burnley's football shirts down the years with marks out of ten given. This month they looked at their 2004/05 shirt. Now this is an idea we can steal - and got us thinking about one of our favourite websites. Other positives include an interesting book review (Underdog has a great front cover), a hilarious overview of the club's accounts, a great letter to Santa from a youf-ful Clarets fan, drinking plans for away days, more stat porn and some general bashing of the club's board.

But the coup de grace has to be the inside front cover with its brilliant array of Steve Kean inspired painted bed sheets. Well done Burnley fans, and well done When the Ball Moves...

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF THE PETERBOROUGH TERRACE

2012-01-23T14:04:00.008Z

It's not often we here at TSLR Towers bother doing photo-only blog posts but there are two reasons for this. Firstly, the sun was at the perfect point as the final whistle blew - it simply enhanced the emotive feelings reverberating around the away terrace since the 88th minute winner. Our very own WSL Snapper will be pouring scorn all over our attempted 'photography' but we thought them worth shoving online anyway.
And, goodness, the rest of the pictures (it's amazing how much better these photees are now I've removed colur from them) focus on the away terrace. That glorious Archibald Leitch stand at London Road will be gone the next time we visit. It was supposed to be gone ahead of our visit on Saturday but they haven't got round to it yet. It's one of the few places left in the football league with such a wonderful terrace - in fact the wonderful 72 Blog did a great piece on this last season and their words are better than ours.We were discussing on Saturday how the shape of the roof (above) helps create an epic atmosphere. It got us thinking, could we put one of these underneath the current roof on the North Stand at Falmer?
Righto, that's your lot - we better save some photees for our Twitter account and the paper version of TSLR037 (out next month, TSLR036 will still be on sale for awhile yet).

TOWN FULL OF PUFFAS

2012-01-19T11:21:00.000Z

The only highlight from last night's dreadful performance at Wrexham was the shot of Tanno before penalties, looking stoned, dressed in a rather fetching navy blue Albion puffa jacket, cooly telling the players to man up and do a 'penenka' so they can get on the coach and go home.

The jacket is available at the club shop for £74.99 HERE.

BLUE (STUART) MUNDAY

2012-01-16T13:00:00.000Z

They say that today is the saddest day of the year or something, but hey, The Argus was going about Brighton being the happiest city in Britain last week so perhaps today is just a kind of neutral day?

For Albion fans Blue Monday is now offcially Blue Munday, in reference to squad/god-bothering mid-90s midfielder Stuart Munday who is famous for this howitzer against then-Premier League side Leicester City in the then-Coca Coal Cup return leg at Filbert Street in 1994. I think we lost to then-Premier League Swindon Town in the next leg but who cares.

BIG BAD BREZ AND THE FREE PIES

2012-01-16T09:39:00.009Z

Falmer is great. Mainly because when you stay for post match beers (even in the epic coldness of a British winter) you get the chance to stumble across Albion's first XI as they make their way from the player's entrance to their Audi's and BMW's. It makes the whole club seem connected with each other - players with fans and the club with the community. Plus it gives us the chance to collar Albion's current number 1 between the sticks, thrust a new fanzine into his massive hands and make him pose for a photograph. "You can keep TSLR036" we told him so you'll probably find the copy Peter Brezovan is holding in one of those recycling bins that dominate the area around the outside of Falmer.

Thanks to all those who purchased TSLR036 on Saturday and well done to all those who found Vicente - both on our front cover and on the actual bench. You'll be able to buy TSLR036 at all matches until Leeds away (where TSLR037 will be debuting). Or click on the link on your left to order a copy to be delivered direct to your door.

And finally, it appears that the free Piglet's Pantry pies given to us post Wrexham were in fact not meant to be given away. A catering team source told us that the member of staff in question - who gave away pies for free in the North last week - relinquished £200 worth of stock and got sacked for the trouble. But we got a free pie so it feels as if it was all probably worth it...

TSLR036 ... OUT TOMORROW!

2012-01-13T12:20:00.002Z

Roll up, roll up, the latest issue of Brighton and Hove Albion's ONLY fanzine - The Seagull Love Review - hits the gleaming approaches of The Amercian Express Community Stadium tomorrow for the duel with Championship lower-mid-table outfit Bristol City.

32 pages of the finest Albion related writing for the recession-LOLing price of £1 ...

Along with the usual alternative analysis and comment on the last month of inconsistant second-tier fayre we have a feature on Brighton's favourite pastry-peddlers Piglet's Pantry, a little retrospective on the opening of The Amex's in-house health centre opening, a sadly post-Colombian goalkeeper Flairwatch, a Gully's Girls picture count totalling a refreshing zero, a very entertaining essay from Bitter and Twisted and various other bits and bobs.

Find us at the top of the station approach as you face the Club shop, and post-match in the North Stand concourse as well as by the South Stand entrance by Bennetts Field car park. Plus we may well have someone outside the West for awhile.

BIG UP NORTH

2012-01-12T15:37:00.001Z

We just received an email from a mate drawing our attention to this cool, if niche, point of interest.

"So we’ve just received a laptop here at work wrapped in a recent selection of Scottish newspapers and just look at them! The horse is like the SPL equivalent of Rooney. My man/equine is a star!"

We won't ask why a laptop was wrapped in Scottish newspapers, but there you go, he's big up north.

THE WREXHAM LOVE IN

2012-01-09T13:54:00.010Z

We've discussed many times now how the best thing about Falmer is the fact we can socialise in the ground with fans of other teams post match (unless you're a Pal**e or Leeds fan seemingly). Up until Saturday and the FA Cup, we spoke highly of a group of Blackpool supporters who joined us in the North Stand Atrium Social Club after their visit. Blackpool were the best to visit so far (Donny were pretty good too) but Wrexham stole that mantle with a corking display against the Albion youth at Falmer and an even better display of comradeship and mutual respect from their fans afterwards. And better than that, a man carrying stale pies that had sat behind the counter for most of the day gave them out to us for free (I found a half eaten chicken balti one when I woke up for Sunday League yesterday).

Anyone who thinks that football is a divisive English pastime should join us in the North Stand Atrium Social Club from 1700 every Saturday home game evening. Sometimes - like Saturday just gone - it's a ridiculous love in with the topic of conversation mainly centred around which side loves which side more. For the record, we <3 Wrexham more.

TWITTER; A MUST FOR ALBION FANS

2012-01-06T08:30:00.000Z

When we started our twitter feed - we've done nearly 3k 'tweets' now - we thought we were late on the whole microblogging thing.

By and large we were, but in terms of Brighton and Hove Albion we were reasonably on the ball.

What we have seen in the last 3-6 months is a big influx of new Albion tweeters however, and right now there seems to be a very bustling, positive, entertaining and friendly BHA Twitter community. During games it's an absolute blast but above all it's just very, very refreshing!

Get involved before it all implodes ... We're at @tslr

FUSSBALL JA - FOLTER NEIN

2012-01-05T14:08:00.003Z

Wandering the web for Christmas ideas in early December, we stumbled across this little beauty from Amnesty International – originally brought out in Germany ahead of the Argentinean World Cup of 1978. The poster, alongside other non football related ones, can be purchased from the Amnesty International website here. The human rights charity has been celebrating the publication of their own posters from the last 50 years with this being the ultimate pick of the bunch. There are some other corking posters available online but none of them are about football so we can’t justify their existence on this loosely Albion-related blog.

ALBION'S LUCKIEST DAYS

2012-01-04T14:44:00.002Z

In a most psychedelic Twitpic courtesy of hostel-bothering Danny Last - of European Football Weekends fame - we can see proof of those plucky Southamptoners goal-not-goal at The Amex last Saturday.

We won't revel in the Linesman's mistake here though, oh no, but we will think holistically about the Albion and their dealings with Lady Luck.

This is not the place for last minute goals or toilet displays rewarded with all 3 points a) because we've had loads of them and b) who cares.

What we're talking about is physical fortune; crossbars, posts, posteriors etc and officiating mishaps i.e. when we've benefited from generous decisions from the men in black.

This could be a feature in the next fanzine so get your suggestions in the comments box.

THE MYSTERY NORTH STAND WINDOW

2012-01-04T13:41:00.004Z

There are many wonderful things about our new stadium and this picture (above) represents just one of them. It shows a window just behind the back row in the North Stand at the new Withers, Falmer or the American Express Community Mouthful Stadium. Earlier in the season, we were told off by a steward for looking through the window and the blind has tended to be closed since then. But what could possibly be behind the glass facade? It's situated roughly above the health centre so it could be linked to that. Or it could host one of the many offices that are situated behind the North and West stands. But we like to think it's more something like this amazing Wisbech Town apartment featured on the Who Ate All the Pies blog before the national media stole the story. Perhaps the North Stand window hosts accomodation for a one bedroomed bachelor and that's why the steward didn't want us looking in.

Things got even more exciting at our mysterious window over the festive period - it was decorated with some Christmas decorations. If it is a flat, we'll take it. TSLR Towers would be prepared to move in whenever the club wants to have us.

AWESOME ALBION PHOTEE WITH NORMAN

2011-12-30T12:30:00.009Z

We have stolen this image from the wonderful Albion Collectors' and Historians' Society quarterly publication (and put it on our blog without permission obviously). It features Norman Wisdom in the dressing room with an Albion team of yesteryear. There wasn't much detail attached to the image published in the BHACHS latest issue (join up, their quarterly love review is well worth the minimal membership fee) so if anyone can shed any light on the season or the team it would be most appreciated. One thing is for sure - black and white photographs are brilliant.

Enjoy Coventry tomorrow and a very Merry New Year to all our readers. If anyone knows where Gully's Girls will be celebrating tomorrow night then do get in touch (tslr@hotmail.co.uk).

And thanks to BHACHS for the photee.

FANZINES THAT AREN'T US #1

2011-12-29T11:15:00.001Z

We've picked up a few foreign fanzines this season. And when we say foreign, we mean from outside of Sussex. First up - and from way back when we played them in September - is Red All Over the Land. This Liverpool publication has been going quite some time but it doesn't date back to the fanzine glory days being published since 1995.

For £2 (we swapped one for a TSLR though) you get 60 pages and a colour cover not available with an issue of the Love Review. Apparently they picked up a copy of TSLR032 at the League Cup match and have since been very complimentary so we better be nice. As you can see from the cover image, the picture used may be in colour but is somewhat lacking in quality. It's also an early season affair so much of the issue is a fanzine editor's nightmare as contributor after contributor details their expectations from the forthcoming season. There's a decent spread of articles, amusing cartoons/jokes and adverts which makes it all very pleasing on the eye.

RAOTL165 has a corking focus on the different regional Liverpool supporters' clubs - it's a feature that could easily be replicated in a slow news month for us later this season. One writer - the Lemon Drop Kid - takes a nice look back at 1962 in an article titled 'Kop 'n Rock' that could easily be published in a programme, fanzine or Almanac alike. It's a well researched, informative and likeable historical article, as is a great story of how a Liverpool fan hitched his way to Iceland for a European game in 1964.

Overall it's a decent, well put together fanzine. Lets face it, it's rival baiting alone makes it worth £2 and it'll be a damn site better than the official programme.

Follow Red All Over the Land on Twitter here.

We'll be reviewing another fanzine - When the Ball Moves, a Burnley publication - in the coming days.

TSLR ON YOUR IPHONE/IPAD PT.1

2011-12-27T18:59:00.001Z

We're not stopping the regular printed fanzine or anything - that's the only good thing we do - but we are thinking about ways to read TSLR content when you haven't got one of the paper rascals to hand.

The first of these ideas, and one that is technically already available to you, is to make it easier to visit our blog on the go.

From the moment we registered our domain back in 2008 we had our heads in our hands; was it it possible for us to use a more confusing URL?

However we do normally publish a couple of shorter articles on our blog during the week so it's definatley worth checking out.

To make things easier, we have added some clever codes so a smart little TSLR app icon will appear on your homescreen so you can just press the button and boom, you're on the website.

Here's how to do it on your iPhone or iPad, it's very simple.

1. Open Safari and go to www.theseagulllovereview.com
2. Once loaded, tap the little arrow-jumping-out-of-a-box button at the bottom in the middle and select Add to Home Screen
3. You'll see the icon now, just rename the button to TSLR
4. Ta-da, it's there on your screen, impress friends and family.

To zoom in on the articles, just tap the body of text you want to read twice and your device will resize it to the size of your screen.

More news about TSLR on mobile devices, iPads and Kobo's later in the week.

Merry Christmas.

DARLO AWAY, NOVEMBER 1998

2011-12-22T12:31:00.002Z

Some people can sit for hours reminiscing about their best, worst, whatever away trips from days gone by. Themes like hooliganism, the living standards of northerners and sub-zero temperatures often crop up, but I have been thinking about a trip to Darlington some 13 years ago recently, largely because it was my first away trip without my Dad.

He must have been working that day as I'm sure he would have enjoyed the trip to County Durham, but as a 14 year old, and Albion being in the midst of a historic away win run which span 5 games, me and inside-back cover fanzine contributing stalwart Carter decided that yes, we will get the train to the North-east, we will explore Darlington, we have come of age and will do our duty for the club.

My first recollection is that of money and the horrendous costs of Intercity train travel in the days before you could book in advance. Being the son of a train driver, at that young age I had a 'Priv' card, allowing me free train travel up and down the country. For poor Carter though he had to pay full whack for the 500+ mile round trip. I recall it being around £35 for his ticket, bought at the Brighton station ticket office with cash at about 6am as we began our epic adventure.

My Dad had scribbled some train times on a scrap of paper for us.

B'ton - Kings X

Kings X - Darlo

I was impressed at the abbreviations; a train drivers short-hand that I have tried in vain to master over the years. The colloquial and friendly name for Darlington really got me. Why do we not have lazy, pseudo-cartoon names for towns in the South? Only the word Pompey can compete with Darlo down here and I've loved saying the word ever since.

Being eager, we started our journey early and arrived in Darlington around 1230. At 14 we didn't have the rabid thirst for locally brewed alcohol that handily takes care of those pre-match hours at away games for adults. Instead, we just walked around the town. First to the ground where the old Feethams was resplendent amidst giant autumnal trees and the soothing sounds of a narrow brook that ran the length of their new main stand. Feethams was small, but we had been playing home games at Priestfield for well over a year at that point and any ground in the football league was pretty cool at that age. As previously mentioned, Darlo had invested in a shiny new main stand and it really stood proud against against the modest terraces and sheds that hugged the other 3 sides. It sounds stupid now but back then we were really impressed.

We took the short walk into the town centre and got a McDonalds or something, we probably pretended we couldn't understand their accents at the check-out. On the walk back we saw Kevin McGarrigle, again, at that age pretty cool.

The game itself was a classic. It seemed like the away end was bursting at the seems and back then our vociferous away support had an arsenal of more than 3 songs, and pretty much all of them went on for more than 1 solitary chorus. The away stand was opposite the main stand and much to my surprise was made of wood and featured a semi-circular roof like that of the Rainham End at Gillingham.

Albion, who were in good form, went 1-nil down in the first half. A header from their striker, won in an aeriel duel with Mark Ormerod, put The Quakers ahead. There are few worse sounds for a football supporter than to be in an away ground and listening to the home team score, it rips through you and even though there would probably have been less than 5,000 in the venue, they still made a lot of noise.

Second half and Albion started to fight back. back in '98 we had Minton who would pull the strings in Midfield and a new striker called Gary Hart who was knocking in a few goals us too. Hart, at the time, was the first striker that Albion fans could really bond with since bloody Kurt Nogan probably, his effort, incessant running, power and eye for goal made the becurtained poacher a firm favourite with fans from day 1.

I think we got to about 70 minutes before Hart had equalised, and I can't remember how. The away stand - as is de riguer at away games - went absolutely potty, rocking the old stands foundations as Brightonians spilled out over the wooden benches dancing like loonies. 3 minutes later were in front, Minton I think putting away a penalty. This is what away games are all about we thought.

In classic style Albion hang on. Not that me and Carter knew. As naive kids a long way from home on our debut solo away trip we weren't going to risk getting that London bound train and hot-stepped it to Darlington station with 5 minutes left of normal time. Without mobile phones I'm not sure how we knew that Albion had hung on, perhaps a night-final paper picked up at Kings Cross confirmed the good news, who knows.

It was 9 o'clock or so as we pulled into Kings Cross. The main challenge for us was crossing a pre-gentrified Kings Cross to the Thameslink platforms that would take us home to Brighton. It was only a 2 minute journey on foot over Pentonville Road but the areas intimidating characters got us a little worried. Just as we were about to go underground into the station we saw a mad-man having an altercation with a phone box.

Back in Brighton and thoroughly worn-out I could only look back on a fantastic day. An Albion away win after going a goal down, a great trip to a part of the country I'd never seen before, and a bug well and truly caught that would take Carter and I on many a sojourn to various far flung provinces and their spit-and-sawdust Fourth Division football clubs.

Those experiences where we saw light at the end of a really long and dark tunnel were so important in the late-90s. I believe it's those sort of days that mould you as the fan you eventually become.

Footnote: The new stand I describe at Feethams was a factor in the club's misfortune over the last decade or so. The costs of that new East Stand contributed to money troubles that opened the doors to the infamous George Reynolds to take over. He moved the club into the unfeasibly large Darlington Arena at the same time as the club went into administration. Darlington are doing not-a-lot in the Conference these days and Feethams has been demolished.

TSLR035...OUT TOMORROW

2011-12-16T17:18:00.005Z

As Noddy Holder once said, it's Christmas. Tomorrow's Burnley match in Brighton provides a much needed respite from the emphatic drinking period that December seems to be all about. Although that doesn't quite hold true now we can buy beers at Falmer. More importantly, tomorrow represents the launch of TSLR035 - the Christmas issue. And we have some real treats in store for you. We had to drop our profit (ha) margin to fit everything in to the latest whopping 36 page issue:

-We got down and dirty with Mendoza in the shower (don't worry, Gully's Girls were there too)
-Flairwatch explores the VinceLOL revolution
-Marco van Bastard gets hot under the collar over Warren Aspinall's pronunciation
-Stewart Weir's got another black and white treat for you
-Bitter and Twisted explores his goalkeeping past
-Midfield Diamond gets all statistical
-We speak to Corridor about their FalmART
-The new Withers Wager is rubbish
-WSL Snapper returns
-Fatboy Slim's pulling a fa$t one
-Meade's Ball on office politics
-The Hovian discusses his winter warming fashions and has drawn
-Carter pleases the wife at the Amex

Plus we have all the usual tripe including reviews, previews, news in briefs, eBay gold and Mendo's What's Hot What's Not. We'll be outside the Amex tomorrow (or under the train bridge if it's raining/snowing). So don't forget to get your stocking's wet dream for a squid.

Up the Albion!

NIGEL ADKINS FALLS OVER

2011-12-14T14:27:00.002Z

I always think a mobile phone clip of television on YouTube is cheating but when watching the Football League Show on Saturday there were two things that caught my eye and made me do it. The first is this epically good moment when Nigel Adkins couldn't keep up.

And then there was the moment when we spotted a golf cart at Reading taking off an injured player. Just like USA '94.

That is all. I cheated. And won.

CULINARY TREATS OF THE NORTH

2011-12-13T21:42:00.011Z

Saturday at Middlesbrough was disappointing in a number of totally expected ways and the less written about the actual defeat the better. What wasn't expected was my attendance. I was meant to be saving money but when offered the offensive amount of money to make the journey, I just couldn't resist. The Albion have a hold on me. And I have a problem. An addiction perhaps.

There weren't many home fans up on Teeside (they should definitely sing Tee, Tee, Teesiders - maybe they do) but there seems to be many empty seats in football grounds across the country at the moment. The attendance was around the 16,000 mark which is even less than Falmer. One 'supporter' made us giggle on the trip back from Middlesbrough to Darlington as he talked passionately about his team's performance yet then has the audacity to ask who their best player had been as he hadn't been to the match. The young man was heading for a night out in Darlo instead. After spending excessive finances on the day trip, I can't party - in Darlington or anywhere - for awhile now.

There was one highlight however and that is what I've termed The Culinary Tour of Middlesbrough...

Cake: Last season when we baked cake we won until theat disastrous day at Hartlepool when cupcakes (and us) never made the match. This season not even a cinnamon and Nutella cake could do the business against a top half team. Massive thanks to the chef though who made a real name for himself in the taste department. TSLR Towers are now accepting orders.

Parmo: Following the match, there was only one option left for us to get involved with. The parmo - according to the BBC - is "a classic Parmo is a chicken or pork fillet that is beaten until it is flat and roughly the size of half a pizza box, covered in breadcrumbs, then fried. Then béchamel sauce and a layer of cheese (strangely not parmesan) is added and it’s grilled." Hilariously it's served with chips in a pizza box and - as the Guardian put it - a sarcastic amount of salad. Due to my incredibly small stomach, I had a small - or as they call it on Teeside - a 'ladies' washed down with some more beer. So you can imagine the picture of health I looked at Hackney Marshes the following morning.

**This blog may or may not have been written following the revelation that there was no space in TSLR035: The Christmas Issue for another pointless match report about how drunk we were / what we ate at an away game**

Buy TSLR035 on Saturday.

VICENTE: A STAB IN THE DARK

2011-12-07T11:21:00.000Z

I'm devastated. I'm broken hearted. I'm forlorn. Can somebody just tell me, where is Vicente?

For the last 24 hours I've been unable to come up with a suitable metaphor to accurately describe my feelings about El Punal's sad absence from Albion's starting 11, but I just can't find one. Everything about the man is enigmatic.

Yes, I know he's been struggling with injuries, that was part of the package I suppose. And yes, I understand that the infinitely boring 5 substitutes rule has severely hampered his chances to get 20 minutes here and there and get that all important match practise.

But it's not good enough. I'm honestly annoyed every week when I hear a rumour about his renewed fitness, his eagerness to get a game, his guaranteed place on the bench only to hear Jonny Cantor once again affirming that Ashley Barnes or Kazenga Lua-Lua will be warming those coveted stripey seats.

Lest we forget, Vicente signing for Brighton and Hove Albion was the biggest coup in our division, maybe the whole country last Summer. This was a guy with such a pedigree of flair that many Albionites were seen crying in the streets, he was a figurehead, the leader of the Gaylaticos, and arguably the most distinguished footballer ever to pull on the stripes.

I should admit now, as a miser who hasn't purchased an Albion shirt for a decade, that our famous jersey - emblazoned with El Punal #15 on the back - was top of my birthday wish list.

That was late September though, and Vicente was staking a claim for a starting place at the same point that the team decided we didn't want to defend anymore. His wonder strike against Ipswich will be largely forgotten due to the capitulation that followed it 5 minutes after.

So far this season our Hispanic idol has made 1 start and 2 sub appearances, never completing a game. The 2 league games resulted in 1-3 losses, the League Cup showing was his impressive debut at home to Liverpool. All in all, we have seen around 125 minutes of playing time from Vicente, and that's out of a possible 2,070.

The excellent football league website www.theseventytwo.com are running an on-going feature on the 25 best players in The Championship. We helped out on a piece for the ever-popular Craig Mackail-Smith who came in at number 2. Objectively speaking though, and in recognition of his age plus 38 international appearances, 250 La Liga run-outss and a bunch of Champions League games, the single best player in our league is Vicente Rodriguez. Yet Vicente will not be listed, he wont be anywhere near the list, he's probably not even on Gus Poyet's list at the moment.

I pray he's happy, I pray he's working hard, I pray he is feeling fit and healthy and I pray that he is knocking on the proverbial door. For now, we can just sit and hope that The Dagger does not end up being thrust disappointingly through our collective hearts.

ALBION FEATURED IN CREATIVE REVIEW

2011-11-30T10:09:00.001Z

Not often that the Albion get's mentioned in the creative industry press, but Creative Review have a 4-page feature on the artwork decorating the Amex concourses in their November issue.

The work was commissioned by Corridor and included work from 150 people from Brighton and Hove.

You may not have seen that much of the artwork, but there's a selection of images on Corridor's website here.

Wish we were involved, it all looks fantastic..

SWANINN AROUND

2011-11-25T14:59:00.003Z

Excitement has been growing at TSLR Towers for the past few weeks with regard to the Albion finally playing a home match on a Saturday. To celebrate, TSLRites will be amalgamating in the Swan Inn in Falmer from 12pm tomorrow in what we hope to be an established meeting point for the team on regular Saturday fixtures. It is a perfect opportunity for you, the discerning reader, to purchase a copy of TSLR034, tell us where we're going right/wrong and - most importantly - grab a pint without having to queue up first (see Dick's). Of course, the pub was the central HQ in the battle to prevent the Albion moving to the new stadium - as referenced in this ancient Argus article here. But the new owners changed their tune when they realised there'd be thousands of thirsty Albion fans (customers) as soon as the stadium opened. So, if they can change their outlook then so can we.

Hopefully see you tomorrow.

Follow us on Twitter here.

WHEN SATURDAY COMES

2011-11-23T15:14:00.007Z

Usually the Albion have been at home at outlandish times this season - when Saturday comes around we've been avoiding trips to shopping centres and trying to establish what it is that people do when they have no football to attend. This Saturday, however, we have the opportunity to go to Falmer for a bizarre 3pm kick off. For those seagull eyed amongst you, you may have noticed that TSLR got a mention in this month's edition of the seminal football magazine When Saturday Comes. You should, of course, all go and purchase yourself a copy and read about one journalist's attendance at Falmer for the Hull City game last month. But if you can't afford one then why not read the images we have here?

OK so the mention of TSLR in the middle column of the above image is really just a mention about Stewart Weir's wonderful image in TSLR033 (you can purchase the final goal photo at the Goldstone by Weir in clicking on the link to you left). But it's the first time that WSC has mentioned us and for that we've been rather cock-a-hoop.

Of course, the colour ladled When Saturday Comes is the Holy Grail for fanzines up and down the country and you can read their wise words on their website here. You can also follow them on Twitter over here. And you can also follow us on Twitter for incessant Colin Hawkins ramblings - amongst other things - here. And don't forget to pick up your copy of the latest issue - TSLR034 - on Saturday from outside Falmer.

TSLR034 ... OUT TOMORROW AT ST. MARY'S

2011-11-18T12:05:00.000Z

Not like us to bring a new fanzine out at an away game, and especially one when everyone will be really focussed on the game, but with the match a near sell-out we couldn't resist!

Still £1, this month's issue is packed with writing, so if you need something to read on the train home then try and get your hands on one.

This game is going to be quite heated probably so stewards may not take kindly to us flogging 'zines on the concourses, who know.

Anyway, inside this new issue; a few features covering the hot topics like Homopies and Pigletsphobia, some fiction, some non-fiction, reviews, previews, regular commentators, irregular commentators, poetry, lazy journalism and between 10 and 20 LOLS depending on your personality.

There's also a competition to enter, blimey.

For those who can't make the matches there will be a link on here very soon so you can buy it online and we'll put it in the post.

Thanks to all our contributors for their fine work again this month.

COULD IT BE MAGIKO?

2011-11-10T16:01:00.000Z

As briefly mentioned in yesterdays post, we had some news regarding a new song. On Sunday afternoon after the match I found this flyer (above) on the floor in the North Stand bar.

Now, this is actually a flyer promoting a song, the intriguing Brighton Magiko chant, which is perhaps a first for the Albion. I don't know who has produced this, and upon investigation, have been told by a balaclava-clad NSK minion that it is nothing to do with them (hmmm, the logo resolution is quite good).

Anyhow, it's origin does not interest us, it's the bizarre, psy-trance flyer meets Microsoft Wordart that has got us excited.

The front features a mystic bubble affair and hypnotically invites us to point our mouses at www.brightonmagiko.co.uk, a website set-up purely to promote the song.

The back (see below) lists the words. and instructs which parts of the stadium sing at which point. There's a also a pair of crusties dancing at the top which I'm not sure are appropriate representation of the fans (for example, long hair on men is banned in the East Stand).

It's all a bit confusing now, we'll have flyers with all sorts of songs being distributed in the concourses, then big-screen GOSBTS karaoke before the match. "Down with this sort of thing" will be the shouts on North Stand Chat.

But how wonderfully refreshing to see fans make an effort with their own little ventures; the more the merrier we say! Albion now enjoy fan-run independent press, radio, blogs, websites and forums*, and this can only be a good thing.

PETITION FOR GOSBTS ON THE BIG SCREENS

2011-11-09T09:46:00.002Z

After the match on Sunday, as a few hundred fans gathered under the sprawling North-West roof for a pre-train pint, a rousing chorus of Good Old Sussex By the Sea (the Albion abridged version) was sung, at a far more gentlemanly speed, by a proud choir of fans.

GOSBTS, of course, has courted some controversy over the last few years. Many fans have complained that it's sung too fast these days, whilst others have dutifully revised at home the original words to our famous regional anthem.

Now, a group of fans have set up a petition to lobby the club into projecting the words onto the bigscreens prior to matches.

We're endorsing this, obviously, as the old marching song means a lot to the club and fans, it means a lot to Brightonians, Hovians and all denominations of Sussex folk, plus anyone else who decides to follow us from Japan to Norway. The song used to be sung in schools across the county, not to mention the historic military connections. We should be proud of our unique heritage and now is a good time to get those who don't sleep with a Tim Carder book under their pillow (@swiftenburg) to get acquainted with the full version.

Click HERE to sign the petition.

News of another song reached us via a leaflet at the Amex on Sunday, more to come on that later on this week!

DON'T TYKE YOURS MUCH

2011-11-08T12:06:00.001Z

An up-and-down trip from Manchester to Brighton in 24 hours was potentially an inappropriate way to spend my day of rest, but come 1645 on that chilly Sunday, a content glow was present in all Albionites as we huddled in the North Stand bar.

A reasonably comfortable win; style or sunstance meant little as long as we got the win, and funnily enough style and substance were not particularly abundant anyhow.

In typical Championship style Barnsley had players who looked composed on the ball, and they passed it well enough, but apart from some nice 25-yarders, the team from a county I can't quite recall lacked the bite their nickname suggests.

Albion worked the ball a bit and took advantage of some scrappy 6-yard encounters to score at the near-perfect times of 44' and 57'. the BBC highlights suggest that The Tykes had some good chances, but Albion were in control for large periods.

Credit to the Barnsley fans. 814 made the trip south on a Sunday when people don't have that much money floating about, great stuff and a shame they didn't come round to the bar for a drink after the game.

NEW ALBION BLOGS WHAT WE'VE SEEN

2011-11-01T15:32:00.000Z

We're getting too old for this blog game. The future is in microblogging, right? Most Albion fans think that's a Greek football team, so we'll try and update this old horse now and again.

With nothing of real note to add, I remembered that I had seen a couple of new blogs started by erstwhile Seagulls with a bit of an opinion and plenty of spare time.

First, from @Marcos8189, we have If In Doubt Whack It Out; a new Blogspot effort menouvering the paradigmn of being an Amex season ticket hodler and lifelong Liverpool fan. These sort of rice and chips supporters are an odd lot, but the guy can write and we laughed at his honest match reviews. Too many of these blogs mimic the traditional rules of football journalism whilst forgetting it's personality and LOLS that will get you hits! This blog falls into the latter catagory, stick it in your bookmarks.

Secondly, an old website that has come back in either phoenix from the flames or glory hunting fashion www.bhafc.net . I remember this website from way back when (was it the Rivals website for the Albion) and as such Wilka - the seemingly lone contributor - is a name I remember. There's a few bits t read on here since the relaunch, but it hasn't been updated since October 23rd. Worth a look around but Wilka needs to get a bit more word-happy if this is to become popular. Follow them at @BHAFCdotnet

Let us know about your blog and we'll review them on here.

SAM ALLARDYCE: THE FAT CONTROLLER

2011-10-23T11:00:00.002+01:00

It's not often here at TSLR Towers we allow the blog to be hijacked by an opposing fan. In fact, it's never happened before. But seeing as we had such a veteran blogger and West Ham fan hanging about, we thought it would be good to let you hear from a sort of extended TSLRite. May we introduce you to Richard Abbott - who spent many a year penning The Corridor blog about, er, cricket. Since they decided to jack it in last month - and their most prolific blogger hasn't got anything to blog about - we invited Mr Abbott to pen some words on football. The resultant article suggests that The Corridor's loss is most certainly our gain. Ahead of tomorrow's match, the Hammers fan looks at Gus with awe and tries to admire his own manager...

I'm not old enough to have seen Sam Allardyce play football. This isn’t a fact that keeps me awake at night. I've never seen John Prescott ice skate or Nicolai Valuev roller-blade either, but I imagine the three experiences to be aesthetically similar.

I do have fond memories of watching next Tottenham manager Gus Poyet though. Despite playing for two of our London rivals, the enterprise and spark of the man resonated with West Ham fans. A player like that will always be appreciated at Upton Park. By all accounts, the Uruguayan has transferred some of his irresistible flair to his Brighton charges, and I look forward to seeing them for the first time on Monday.

Smart new stadium, a winning culture, the finest fanzine in the Football League - there are several reasons to envy the Seagulls at the moment. West Ham fans might put Gus on the top of that list; after all, he's more of a West Ham manager than the West Ham manager himself.

If Gus Poyet wasn't regenerating football on the south coast of England, he'd be strolling the Uruguayan Riviera wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and tiny shorts (admittedly a look that'd work in Brighton), probably sipping cocktail from a coconut. Outside of football, Sam Allardyce, on the other hand, would be a middle management Rail professional. Were he a dog, Gus Poyet would be a sleek and handsome Dalmatian. Allardyce literally has the face of a bulldog. I imagine Gus drives a sensible but alluring convertible. Big Sam drives a monster truck. Gus's going to manage Spurs. Big Sam isn't. You get the message.

Which is not to say Allardyce has been entirely bad news for us.

Crucially - for a set of fans who buy into the mantra: we're not going to win anything so might as well look half decent while doing so (if anyone can translate into latin we'll get it incorporated on the club crest immediately) - the extent to which we will adopt a style of football more akin to Allardyce's playing days than Poyet's remains to be seen. He's had more pressing things to deal with first up; namely halt a deep-rooted three-year malaise.

West ham were broken when he took over. A losing mentality, an alarming habit of conceding last minute goals and an ability to do so freely during minutes 1-89 as well were the first things to change.

And that he has, by and large. Fresh faces and shipping out dead wood has sewn the seeds of a change in mentality - not yet winning, more not losing every single match. Remarkably, for a man with a face that seems to be melting, he's been ten times more charismatic and upbeat than his predecessor, Uncle Avram - a man with the haunted look of someone who's just married Kerry Katona.

So it'd be unfair to judge Big Sam's West Ham's style just yet. The early signs have to an extent given fans the jitters. Carlton Cole and John Carew will always invite lofted hoofs, rather than subtle through balls and it turns out Kevin Nolan is not Andres Iniesta. However, Sam Baldock's presence in attack offers hope that not all possesional play will obstruct the London City Airport flight paths, we look disconcertingly defensively solid and posses a midfield short of pace but not quality.

The unlikely marriage of Big Sam and West Ham could yet work. We may barge our way back up to the top table and tread water. Our curious mix of giants and paceless ball players may even bully their way into Europa League contention (please God no) but we'll always be a little envious of a manager like Gus Poyet. The feeling that somewhere north of the Midlands, a Network Rail Board Committee meeting is lacking its chairman may be hard to shake off completely.

Follow Rich on Twitter here.
Follow TSLR on Twitter here.

ONE HULL OF A DRAW

2011-10-19T10:46:00.032+01:00

For those that purchased TSLR032 over the last couple of games (we won't mention that penalty from last night), you might have noticed that we have our new photographer featuring in each issue. The West Stand Lower Snapper was hard at it again during the match against Hull last Saturday evening. WSLS has sent us through a few photographs from the front row from the match and we thought a nice easy way of actually writing a blog was to shove them on here and let the snaps do all the talking.

"If only I was Dutch, kicked the ball out for a throw more often and made exaggerated but ultimately simple saves, the Albionites would love me. Now clear this corner Gordy or else I'll probably drop it."

Vicente wonders what the funk Spadge is up to: "Patear me la pelota como un Español…y procura leer el Seagull Review…"

Casper assesses the damage to Lewis Dunk after a corking challenge made up for the young defender's almost devastating lack of pace. At the time this photo was taken, Ankergren was asking whether Lewis had any Marlboro Lights in his socks.

Here at TSLR Towers, we spent a lot of Sunday wondering how Gus was planning on 'building the team' around CMS like he promised in the summer. This was another example of our Scottish International superstar having to create his own chances by working down the channels.

In a photograph reminiscent of the train between South Bermondsey and London Bridge last night, a sort of finger pointing ruckus emerges. Although Vicente seems to be haranguing Calde, leaving Dicker and Spadge to take on three Hull players.

This shot is hardly representative of the excellent Hull fans who were at Falmer in their numbers despite being right royally shafted by an inept Albion who moved the game at such short notice to an odd feeling 1730 start time due to the University open day planned donkeys months ago. Meanwhile, GP makes a point about Pearson's lack of sharp suit.

The little Liverpudlian Noone (he was a roofer you know - copyright every national newspaper in the country) gets involved after spending much of the game warming up the near side of that very touchline. He is so fast, the Hull player went all blurry.

One thing we have noticed is that Vicente takes a cracking photo - he's fast becoming the new most fanciable Albion player amongst the TSLRites. Hull came at us towards the end, with this crossbar leading a charmed life.

And how on earth did the 'keeper save this one?

We're sure you'll agree that there are some corking photees on here. The game against Hull was described as a cracking nil all but it now means we haven't won since Bristol City way back on 10 September. Still, it's all gravy - we're so much better than the last time we played at this level. Keep an eye on the blog for more photos after the West Ham match next Monday night.

WE LOVE GUS AND SO SHOULD YOU

2011-10-14T13:45:00.001+01:00

Mark Lawro had this to say about CMS during the Scotland match midweek:

"I didn't know he was so quick"

"I didn't know he could play on his own up front"

So how did our favourite manager respond?

"You didn't know too many things. If you are a commentator you should know. If not, you [should not be] on TV. I would accept someone saying you didn't know a player from Liechtenstein. But Mackail-Smith? Come on. It's Scotland, we're not talking about a team from the middle of Asia."

You'd think an ex Albion player who lives in Preston might not be so dominated by the top flight.

We love you Gus. Thanks to Football 365 for the heads up.

Follow us on Twatter here.

And buy TSLR033 at the new Withers tomorrow.

TSLR033...OUT ON SATURDAY

2011-10-13T14:28:00.011+01:00

It's quite remarkable that we haven't blogged since the great strop of that Tuesday night when we lost to a team at Falmer. Which team? No, we're not sure either.

But now we've licked our wounds following that nightmare on Portman Road and cobbled together TSLR033, it feels like we can finally bring ourselves to lyrically wax on the world wide web. We were almost over all 3-1 defeats until we came across this little front cover of the gritted toothed excellence that is the Five Year Plan fanzine. Now they're actually a bit slack up the A23 as they only bring out a fanzine every other month but you have to take your hat off to their cover. And here was us thinking that the rivalry meant more to us than them.

Anyway, let us put that dreadful end of September behind us and all look forward to returning to Falmer this Saturday - whatever time of day we're expected to be there.

We will be loitering with the intent of receiving your shiny new pound coins outside our shiny new stadium for a glorious copy of 32 colourless pages stapled together under the banner of The Seagull Love Review.

In this month's extraordinary issue, there is:
-The Hovian who also provides the cover
-An awesome item for eBay Gold
-Mendoza's back with his ever brilliant What's Hot What's Not
-News in (dirty) Briefs
-Tom Stewart provides us with Flairwatch
-Match Reviews (including two from Ipswich and almost none from Leicester, don't ask)
-Match Previews for October and November
-Another corking Stewart Weir photo
-Midfield Diamond bemoans odd kick off times
-The last month detailed by Numbers
-Meade's Ball's BBC holiday programme
-Fans Reunited
-Security at Falmer
-Peter Grummitt's Bright Green Gloves
-Marco van Bastard writes about rugby(?)
-The West Stand Lower has a new paparazzi
-Prog Rocks features another programme from yesteryear
-And Carter's car failed the MOT

All that and more for just £1. Wipe those tears away, look to the future, and buy TSLR. Plus, don't worry about 31 January 2012 - we haven't lost twice in a season to the scum since 1932/33 (erm, that is what we think anyway - you probably need Tim Carder to confirm that).

Follow TSLR on Twitter here

MENACING MASCOTS #4 : BLUEY AND CRAZEE

2011-09-30T12:19:00.000+01:00

Ipswich Town have gone a little left-field in their terrace-bothering choices of mascot. Where most clubs will go for a he and she version of costumed fool, Town have gone for a mental health theme with solid stud Bluey the handsome stalion and Crazee the mad mustang with opoosable digits.

Bluey seems to be the more on-message mascot at Portman Road with poor Crazee destined for the glue factory. The Osmonds monikored equus does carry some kudos over his handsome brother in that his name isn't common slang for an erectile-dysfunction drug. A decent writer of provinvial fanzine smut would at this point insert a closing gag incorporating the afforementioned pills but I'm still a bit down after Tuesday and really cannot be bothered.

THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEVING

2011-09-30T11:16:00.002+01:00

Still feeling a little blue? Download this cut-out-and-keep black armband with self-depracating #FFSMurray motto to add a little more grief to your Ipswich trip.

The Kübler-Ross model famously theorises that there are 5 stages to grief, so let's go through them and see how we're doing;

1. Denial : What's that? It's just another match? Ok, sure.

2. Anger : With 20 arrests and more to come, plus the area around Brighton Station looking like Tripoli, we can safely assume that this stage has been navigated. Sadly though, Tuesday may have marked a new dawn in A23 derby violence.

3. Bargaining : Do we love to hate Palace, or just simply hate Palace? I'm not sure, but Gus claiming he's pleased for Murray and that he's a "good lad" is contrary to some of the things we've heard about the pair's relationship last season.

4. Depression : This has certainly kicked in; Albion fans have mimcked the disposition of an pubescent emo kid all over Sussex. With most losses - and by god we've had a few of them - you can shake it off after a couple of hours. This one however hits you unexpectedly, like a shameful memory the night after a session on the booze.

5. Acceptance : Hmmm, well, we imagine most of you have fixed up by now, but the perfect tonic would be a heart display at Portman Road on Saturday. Fingers crossed eh?

OH NO YOU DIDN'T

2011-09-22T10:38:00.000+01:00

So the club thought it was a good idea to have a sing-a-long vibe going on with the big screens last night.

Well, we're very keen to hear from the club exactly why they thought this would be a good idea.

In hindsight, Albion fans have been quite accepting of the clubs covert embrace of saccharine football culture.

Gullys Girls are now much-loved fixtures, as are Sally and Sammy; the bastard siblings of our 7 foot winged beast. The Seagull Superstores have dragged the club out of the merchandise dark-ages and the sprawling Sussex nouveau riche have a home in the 1901 Club.

Last night however a line was crossed.

The deeply patronising Amex karaoke witnessed by Albionites must never be shown again.

Call us NIMBYS, call us luddites, call us conserva ... well, no, but you get the point. We are proud of our vocal support and the crowds - especially the excellent North and West - rocked the Sky microphones last night. On the radio our collective voices have coloured even the dreariest of encounters, home and away; our vocal chords shaken from the great Withdean silence.

Football song, as a friend once said, is the last bastion of traditional English folk music. Hearty, intelligent and satirical at it's best, the terrace roar is still deeply organic, developed and sculpted from our nationwide travels, our traditional references and our nods to popular culture.

Albion, holistically speaking, need to be united in our extraordinary progress; this faux pas however will not have us singing from the same hymn sheet.

TSLR032 ... OUT TOMORROW!

2011-09-16T11:11:00.000+01:00

Sooooo, it might be a week late, but TSLR032 drops tomorrow at Leicester City away.

32 Pages of the usual nonsense, dripping with the retrospective happiness of one hell of an August.

Still only £1; you can buy a single copy via the PayPal link to your left (50p postage), though the smarter exiles amogst you will buy a seasonal subscription for the ever reducing price of £9 including P&P. Drop us an email at tslr@hotmail.co.uk for details ... this price includes overseas delivery too, so a must for Global Seagulls.

See you in the East Midlands tomorrow.

MENACING MASCOTS #3 FILBERT FOX

2011-09-16T11:04:00.000+01:00

There's not a lot wrong with foxes so this fellow seems very, well, rational.

Londoners amongst you will no-doubt have had a drunken stand-off with a snide vixen on a walk back from the pub late at night. The sheer audacity of these urban bin-dippers as they front you up before sauntering back to their inner-city bunkers, KFC bone in mouth, is quite remarkable.

The Leicester fox is a country side version we think, an observation made in regards to his plush coat and volumnouos tail.

Filbert gets extra points for his Claridge-esque socks, especially as the aforementioned journeyman scored the sweetest shinned goal ever in his City days against you-know-who.

ALBION'S MONTH IN MUSIC : AUGUST

2011-09-09T08:34:00.000+01:00

We've hooked up with the wonderful Armchair Clubber (@armchairclubber) - an Albion fan with a beautiful ear - to provide a musical retrospective of the months goings on. Take a few minutes to get involved with this lot. Wonderful stuff.

New Order ~ Ceremony... opening Ceremony at the Amex Aug 6th

Cinematic Orchestra ~ Flite ... Seagulls in full flight to knock Gills and Mackems out the Cup

Rufus Harley ~ Crack ... Harley scores a cracker on debut against P'boro

Steve Parks ~ Moving in the right direction ... Albion go Top of the Table

Mikie Brooks & Roots Radics ~ Complicated Love ... Ees a little complicated, but Gus gets his Special One, The Dagger

More next month!

MENACING MASCOTS #2 SCRUMPY

2011-09-09T08:14:00.000+01:00

This thing belongs in the V&A and is probably about as attractive to children as an afternoon round at Michael Jackson's pad.

Named Scrumpy and slightly resembling a Robin, this big brown bird looks like the last remnant of City's lower league days.

The actual scrumpy on sale in the fine city may well be the reason behind this odd design and if you've ever had a few jars of the stuff you'll know why.

What really gets us is the legs; a strange, swollen, yellow scene that is half rotten bandages and half chubby old lady. We've no doubt that put side by side with any of the Gully family this guy would look a bit special. Come on City, give Scrumpy a new look!

MENACING MASCOTS #1 PETER BURROW

2011-08-26T12:41:00.001+01:00

As mascots go, this prototype beast from Peterborough's past has given us the heeby-jeebies at TSLR HQ.

The smartly named Peter Burrow has had a face lift now and is less intimidating to children (and adults actually) but we had to post this gem featuring a pair of then-cast members from Hollyoaks in 2004.

The demonic bunny, along with that strange pseudo-mascot Mr. Posh, surely had youngsters trembling with fear at London Road, and that's before the menacing Barry Fry stepped into the dug-out.

NB: concept cribbed from the excellent Cod Almighty blog

ERRATIC BLOGGING = WONDERFUL ALBION

2011-08-24T13:54:00.018+01:00

OK, so we've been pretty poor at updating the blog recently but everyone's writing about us and our viewpoint seems an unnecessary addition to that. For proper match reports, check out The Hovian - our cartooning contributor - here. I certainly meant to post the above video from the Blackpool match on Saturday in the early days of this week. It records the second goal from the match to put us 2-0 up before we were undone by a triple substitution and two moments of class from the ancient Kevin Phillips.

After the Blackpool match, the North Stand Atrium Social Club continued where it left off. There's no point standing in the queue for the train now is there? Not when there's alcohol to be drunk inside our favourite new pub.

We had the utmost pleasure of meeting some of the nicest and humble away supporters we have ever done so. Their proclamation that drinking with us was the reason they disliked the top flight is one to make even the hardest Albion fan recoil in tears of joy (not that TSLRites are renowned for their hardness). Their kind words reminded us exactly why we supported Blackpool amongst the big boys last season - culturally, they're no top flight side. And of course we can empathise with that quite easily.

It does sound a touch of concern over our start (we had to moan about something). Should we get near the top flight, a season of being wound up by supporters not worthy of our presence awaits.

On a more positive note: there used to be times when this blog would rejoice over national newspaper coverage of our favourite side. These days, it's probably easier to tell you which newspapers the Albion haven't featured in.

Last night didn't have the excitement levels of the Manchester City upset under Micky Adams II. Then, we were playing shoddy football and effectively blagged the win. From 20 minutes into the second half last night, the Albion's passage to the Third Round seemed almost a formality. Especially when CMS hit the post with the North Stand already celebrating and more so when I was convinced we should have had a penalty when Calde got booked. But the only similarity between the Manchester City upset at Withers and the Sunderland victory last night was the referee.

And one last little moan about the Albion programme. This is the pricing guide they published in the programme for the home League Cup First Round tie against Gillingham. Only days and the draw against Sunderland (they're in the Premiershit you know) later, these prices were changed beyond recognition. Some would argue that the attendance last night justified the expense (and the result certainly did) but it will be interesting to see how many people bother to turn up to a similarly price increased League Cup tie at Falmer in year three.

But, with the ticket collection problem seemingly solved yesterday and the trains functioning amicably after extra time, critical copy for TSLR032 - out at Bristol City - is proving hard to come by. We can selfishly hope the club are still persuing their unwarranted attack on the disabled fans and their car parking spaces.

DREAMLAND REVISITED

2011-08-18T17:16:00.020+01:00

Around this time last year (it was probably more like September), I posted a video of Marcia Griffith's excellent Dreamland to describe how the mood at TSLR Towers was. Three wins into the new season in the SECOND TIER OF ENGLISH FOOTBALL and I feel that using the video then was premature, this feeling now is surely dreamland. And it could get even better yet?

I'm still very much hopeful that we stay up in Division Two this season but the way we have begun is nothing short of magical. If we win another 25 games and grab a couple of draws, we'll win promotion but I know that's silly talk after just three games. Gus told the official website he is currently in dreamland and told the Evening Argus that the start has been a dream. If that's what he thinks, I'm not sure how I can describe what I've been feeling since I woke up this morning.

We made the trip to the Welsh Riviera last night thanks to a day holiday from my proper job and some wonderful driving from a TSLRite who, it turns out, has a dreadful Welsh accent that he attempted to impress upon this poor woman in the toll booth the other side of the Severn. Most of the journey was spent detailing how a 1-0 reverse would be a great result. That is genuinely the best the majority of us could see us getting. I now think we all need to reassess how much we've underplayed Gus' awesome team so far this season.

We didn't get allowed in the carvary bar next to what is a very nice (and cheap) new stadium. Others tell me the ground is rubbish but I thought it excellent - especially with the ability to run outside for a quick smoke at half time. The lack of pub meant we were forced (against our will obviously) to purchase 4 packs of beers from the adjacent Asda (many new stadia we visit seem to have massive Asda - or is that Asdi - next to them) and lay on the grass of the park opposite watching girls playing touch rugby in sunshine reminiscient of the summer we've never had.

As for the game... Well, you can read all about it in proper publications like the Guardian (great picture of Ash doing the Klinsmann celebration); Telegraph and even the bloody Independent for goodness sake.

It was the ultimate pleasure to be there and hard to fathom just how in control we were after taking the lead. But habits last, and even at 3-1 I was fuming at the five minutes of injury time added and looking hastily at the tiny clock situated behind the goal at the far end. Maybe Albion teams of the past would have folded. But not this one. Not under Gus.

I refer you to our cover image (held by the great man himself) of TSLR014, published at the time when Gus was appointed. In Gus we trust, we wrote. Well who the fuck thought we could trust him this much?

As we Tweeted earlier today, pride supposedly comes before a fall so how much tragedy must we expect to come our way considering the last year or so we've had? Hopefully, we had the tragedy first in the form of Fran Sandaza and Colin Hawkins. The Hawk, incidentally, celebrated his 34th birthday yesterday.

Thanks to all who purchased fanzines last night and throughout this marvellous opening month. Copies of TSLR031 are still available - either through this webiste (paypal) or outside Falmex on Saturday. And feel free to add us for our extra Albion related-ish drivel over on our Twitter page.

UNABLE TO SETTLE? ... HMMM

2011-08-12T11:59:00.001+01:00

Cast your minds back to 30 December 2010. An offcial club statement, carrying the weighty kudos of a Tony Bloom quote, announced the capture of respected Watford academy king-pin John Stephenson. At the time it was exciting news; another sign of the progressive recrutiment culture the club was developing and proof that Mr. Bloom had built Albion into an aspirational, attractive proposition for everybody in the football world, both on the pitch and off it.

He would be "focusing on the long-term success and development of the football side of the club" mused Tony, "another step forward as we strive to progress as a club" added Gus.

Great, we all thought, here's a guy with an excellent track record who'll kick off the proposed new academy. He'll utilise his network of scouts to brings us great new signings, he'll support Gus in the whole recruitment thing that's so important in modern football clubs. This isn't Dennis Wise at Newcastle we all enthused, this is the real deal.

Here's a little timeline of coaching hiring / firing / resigning since Poyet took over;

14 April 2010 - Club appoints Zigor Aranalde as Chief Scout.
30 December 2010 - Club announces that John Stephenson will join as Head of Football Operations.
21 June 2011 - Zigor Aranalde quits Albion - Chief Scout post remains empty
09 August 2011 - Club relieve Steve Brown and David Jupp of duties as senior Youth Team coaches as part of 'on-going restructuring of the youth development department'. Ken Brown signs off statement.
11 August 2011 - Seagulls.co.uk release short statement announcing the departure of John Stephenson

It's a little odd right? We can only speculate but what has had happened of such significance that 2 members of the coaching team and the Head of Football Operations lost their jobs, or left, within 72 hours? Who exactly is holding the reigns at the Albion when it comes to football administration at the moment; Poyet? The manager surely has enough to do looking after the first team. Ken Brown? While a big force at Falmer, his expertise are in running football clubs, not football teams. Bloom? Our astute leader has never let us down, so what did he see that led to such a high-profile breakdown between himself and one of his biggest signings; Stephenson?

The excuse of being 'unable to settle in the Brighton area' only gets tongues wagging more. Such a limp press statement from the club will probably be swept under the carpet however with the pravda-esque Argus firmly wrapped around the club's finger and our hands somewhat tied.

In the official statement released informing of Brown and Jupp's exit, the club enthused that 'The club is soon to submit plans for a new academy and is also working towards gaining level two academy status as part of the Premier League's new Football League Elite Player Performance Plan'.

Albion fans will keenly await confirmation of who'll be heading that up, then.

In brighter news, if the locals don't get him first, co-editor @swiftenburg will be selling TSLR031 at Fratton Park tomorrow. Yay!

VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO

2011-08-10T10:46:00.021+01:00

Last night, it transpired that the Albion Gillingham match was being streamed live on this thing some call the internet. This also apparently happened for the Donny match that took place last Saturday. And this half of the editing duo certainly hopes the Palace home match will also be streamed (for reasons I don't really want to go into right now).

It's a far cry from the dulcet tones of Tony Millard that harangued our poor ears sometime ago. At least with the Seagull Line, it was your choice to ring up. You have to sort of feel sorry for the local BBC radio commentary crew - only ten years ago, they were the exclusive place to go when you weren't at the match.

Now of course, you can follow the game with a live stream or through Twitter and any number of websites. But it is surely video that wins - because being able to see something you want to see will always be better than listening to something you want to see.

On this tip, I had the brilliant opportunity to film the only goal from last night's came scored by the formerly away kit TSLR sponsored Ashley Barnes. It was easy to capture as it was a penalty in front of the North (notice how we've only scored at the North end since pre-season finished).

The video highlight from last night though has to be given to this second clip. After the success of the penalty, what could go wrong with filming a free kick from outside the area? Er, well, I couldn't decide how far to zoom in and then the ball almost hit the west stand roof that doubles up as my favourite atrium at Falmex.

Radio isn't dead though - far from it. Most of Monday at work (in my real job) was spent listening again to Five Live and recording all mentions of the Doncaster match they were broadcasting live from. It meant that, two days on from that epic 8th minute winner, I cried once more.

The only crying I did with these videos was when I heard what a twat I sound like on video.

TSLR031 OUT TOMORROW

2011-08-05T09:31:00.010+01:00

For those that aren't excited enough about tomorrow, then feast your eyes on this little beauty of a front cover for TSLR031 which will be available to purchase at Falmex tomorrow. The photograph is courtesy of Dom Alves and shows the glorious Falmex at night. We've waited 14 years for this.

The first fanzine of our fourth season features some real bloody treats for you...

-One of the shortest interviews ever with Ian Chapman

-Mendoza returns from Portugal for What's Hot and What's Not

-There are reviews from pre-season, the Algarve and Theatre Royal

-Previews of the first month of games

-Peter Grummitt's Bright Green Gloves takes us back to the '70s

-Bitter & Twisted wants a return to the Withers

-Stewart Weir's signed up for the centre fold

-One of the men behind the Fan's Mosaic gives an insight

-Hobo Living looks back at his youth

-Football Masochism loves Tony Bloom (he's not the only one)

-Meade's Ball gets all magical

-Flairwatch returns with news from his Flair-o-meter

-Midfield Diamond provides a foolproof guide for the Jonny-Come-Lately's

-The Hovian works his magic with pen and pencil

-Carter still hates Scott McGleish

-And our resident artist never lets us down

All that and more for cheaper (£1) than a cup of tea (£1.60) at the new stadium. The Seagull Love Review thanks you in advance for your golden nuggets. There should be a number of TSLRites loitering outside Falmex from pretty early tomorrow but if you don't get hold of a copy then drop us a Tweet - @tslr or come and find us after the game as we're sure to be frequenting Dick's Bar.

TSLR SUBSCRIPTIONS 2011/2012

2011-08-04T10:12:00.001+01:00

We know that the fragrant diaspora from Gods own city will sit infront of their laptops on a Saturday intently honing in on Jonny Cantor's loose lips.

This season why not enhance that matchday experience with a TSLR subsription?

For £10 you will get all 9 issues of this seasons fanzine sent to your door, and here's the good bit, this includes postage, even if you're in Australia!

So this price is for all, be it the Brighton based fan who just wants a copy for the toilet, or the squaddie in Cyprus who needs that little bit more Albion info, a TSLR subscription won't let you down.

Perfect for ...
- International exiles (no extra postage)
- Albion fans in the armed forces

- Domestic exiles who don't get to many games
- Sussex fans who just want a copy posted

You can request where it's sent so it's a great gift for Albion fans, just email us HERE or put the details on the PayPal thingy. If you don't have PayPal, drop us a line and we'll work something out.

PayPal users, use the link below, we even take American Express! We'll confirm your order personally.

The best tenner you'll spend this season(unless you're buying a pie plus Harvey's at the ground). The Seagull Love Review, your international Brighton and Hove Albion fanzine.

YELLOW JERSEY? BLUE AND WHITE MORE LIKE!

2011-08-01T15:16:00.000+01:00

TSLR stalwart and (media) whore with a heart, Brett Mendoza, will be squeezing into his cycling shorts for the multi-mile hop between Gillingham and Brighton ahead of Saturdays soccerfest at The Amex.

Brett, who is cycling to raise money for both the Robert Eaton Memorial Fund and Martlets Hospice, will be accompanied by a peloton of other Albionites this Friday in the 74 mile trip from the Priestfield to Falmer.

You can point and laugh at them waddling like John Wayne at the Donny match the next day, but only if you donate to the REMF via THIS link, or to the Martlets via THIS one. Do it now.

WELCOME HOME

2011-07-31T11:49:00.008+01:00

I've woken up this morning wondering if yesterday was all a dream but the thickness of my head and the photographs I took seem to resemble reality. I write this from the depths of north London in the shadows of the New Highbury and, having been inside there a couple of times, Falmex feels nicer. But then I would say that, I don't support Arsenal. I'll start with the only negative - the biggest problem I encountered yesterday were the throngs of wasps attracted to the god awful away shirt I was wearing.

Falmex is a beauty. The North Stand atrium is, thanks to the end of the West Stand roof, more akin to a well designed new development - more Kew Gardens than a football stadium. Its well stocked bar added to the fantastical element of the day - never before had we seen beer inside an Albion home ground, and it was pure joy to behold. The acoustics lived up to their billing and, even in a pre season friendly, the crowd sounded louder than it ever had at Withers with the north west corner doing everyone proud. The post match drinks in Dick's - supplemented by staring at the wonderful fan's mosaic - meant that the crowds had mainly dispersed by the time we headed back to Brighton proper.

At times in the first half, we even had a team that did quite well in the European Cup on the back foot. Defensively, there were concerns - but we should be one of the most exciting in the division when going forward. Kazenga was back, and what a man he is. Falmex is a venue that would not look out of place in the European Cup itself and its ultimate gorgeousness could be seen across the smiling faces of all in attendance throughout the day. And yes, we should have a marching band playing Sussex by the Sea every match (even if the crowd still claps along so fast they leave the professional musicians behind).

So all in all, what a day. The place is so exquisite, so unbelievable and so long in the pipeline that, of course, it will take some settling into. But settling in we are prepared to do. Roll on Doncaster in just six days time.

Right, that's enough from me - I've got a few things to write for TSLR031, out next weekend. We'll be loitering outside Falmex offering the issue for a £1 or you can subscribe for the season by dropping us an email at tslr@hotmail.co.uk or messaging us on Twitter @tslr. For more Falmex reaction, read contributor The Hovian here and European Football Weekends here.

YESTERDAY IS TOMORROW

2011-07-29T15:57:00.002+01:00

"And you, forgotten, your memories ravaged by all the consternations of two hemispheres, stranded in the Red Cellars of Pali-Kao, without music and without geography, no longer setting out for the hacienda where the roots think of the child and where the wine is finished off with fables from an old almanac. That’s all over. You’ll never see the hacienda. It doesn’t exist.

The hacienda must be built."

Have a fucking ball tomorrow; you deserve it.

TSLR x

TSLR031...AND SO IT BEGINS

2011-07-27T13:02:00.003+01:00

It's been a busy few days here at TSLR Towers. We've been gearing up for the new season for a number of weeks now but, with deadline for the first issue fast approaching, we've been getting into what we term producing a fanzine mode. The image shows Falmex from the control room where we were welcomed yesterday for a meeting to ensure we're allowed to flog the mag on what is to be club-owned private land. The club have been fantastic - which isn't exactly what you may expect a fanzine to say - and the offices at the new ground have an unnerving professionalism about them. The whole of Falmer is engulfed in a dream like state where all members of staff, despite the long hours in preparing for the opening, smile profusely, as do all visitors.

TSLR has spent the summer in ongoing negotiations with some of the most talented contributors we could find, and almost all contracts are now in place. We haven't spent the money akin to the Albion and CMS but we think we've found the quality nonetheless. The most stressful aspect of the new season has been the bizarre behaviour of our previous printing setup and, thus, the contract negotiations with the new printers that have thankfully now concluded. Writers, artists, advertisers and photographers, deadline for the first issue will now have to be Tuesday 2 August and all correspondence is welcome to the usual place - tslr@hotmail.co.uk

If you would like to subscribe to TSLR for the coming season (nine wonderful issues for £10 sent direct to your doormat), then email us (tslr@hotmail.co.uk) or direct message us on twitter (@tslr). And we're more than happy to send internationally.

With Portugal out of the way (massive thanks to @BrettMendoza - our intrepid reporter - for his wonderful tweeting, doughnuts will be forthcoming), thoughts are turning to Saturday where we will no doubt be assessing the access of student union bars before inevitably glugging Harveys in Dick's. To supplement the excitement, I took the plunge and have now spent 23 hours contemplating how on earth I can look like a normal person wearing the garish new away kit.

And in other news, poor old Colin Hawkins has been denied the chance to represent the Aitricity League XI due to injury. You can read the full story here.

PORTUGAL TWEETS? SIN, ABRIGADO!

2011-07-19T10:00:00.000+01:00

TSLR have secured the cod-journalistic services of the Seagull savant.

Known simply as Mendoza, the man with the worn Havaininainas and the luminous green nylon shirt will be on hand to tweet all the gory details from Portugal.

Look for the TSLR tweets with the #PTG hashtag.

Click HERE to follow us, yeah?

LE BEAK, C'EST CHIC

2011-07-14T11:50:00.006+01:00

Instead of discussing how we're going to produce a fanzine for next year with the co-editor, I have taken 5 minutes to snoop around the virtual club shop at Seagulls Direct (HERE).

Our bold new era of multi-million pound signings, one of the best stadiums in Europe and pies with the same Albion status as the likes of Mark Lawrenson means that the merchandise people on Queens Road have had to mimic the exciting developments else where in the club too.

First up, after averting my eye past the away kit pictures, I have found the fan must-have tat of the season, the Albion Mints (BUY HERE £1.50). I think the picture shows the cute box they come in, which could also be used for medication/recreation drugs after the original contents are guzzled in a post-Harveys panic.

Next up, and perfect for those who keep a plethora of blue and white clothes in their cupboard that need a bit of sprucing up, iron on badges (BUY HERE £2.50). There's all sorts of fun to be had with these bad boys and we'll be reporting back later in the season on our a la mode progress. Initially thoughts are that yes, we can finally have those matching Albion turtle necks we've always wanted.

Originally, upon setting our sights on this product, we thought it was some kind of fashion glove, a kind of statement glove for those who wanted to be both Michael Jackson, and loyal supporter whilst wandering the lonely streets of Hassocks et al. In fact it's a golf glove (BUY HERE £14.99), we believe you only buy one, but frankly, two would be just too weird.

This incredibly odd photo is still being used to showcase the jesters hat, and similarly, what it would look like if you had a stroke at The Amex. (BUY HERE £5.00). That is well North Stand.

If the above hat isn't exactly suitable for your needs, fear not, as the club have brought out some more orthodox head gear to keep your ears warm in the winter. Above is the reversible bronx hat (BUY HERE £7.99) which on one side is a nice way of showing your colours and keeping warm, with the other side useful for either a) offending people b) making children cry.

Finally, and before we get one of those special emails from the club, we are featuring these trendy argyle socks which feature the new club crest. I can't quite put my finger on it but there's something strangley alluring about these and no doubt the carpets of Sussex will feel many a tread from these come the autumn. The club, understanding the austere measure many fans are having to take in these hard times, are selling these in a 2-pack. His and hers? Who knows (BUY HERE £7.99).

SO, THIS NEW SHIRT ...

2011-07-05T13:19:00.000+01:00

"Away shirt will be ... black and green stripes"

Yep, that's what we posted on this here blog on 30th January 2011. we also guessed that we'd be sponsored by IT First again, so our crystal ball does need something of a polish!

The green and black was no surprise then, and while some supporters have been in favour of the design, a few have been seen scratching at their computer screens shouting 'my eyes are bleeding, my eyes are bleeding!".

The over-saturated press shots perhaps give the shirts that lurid radioactive glow, so we'll wait until the garment is hung up on Queens Road before delivering our most scathing of critiques.

Two things we will say straight away are a) bit dissapointed that the sponsor is on a black band rather than being incorporated into the stripes more sensatively and b) what's with the luminous green logo? We would think that when you launch a new logo for the first time that you try and keep it, well, blue?

In other news we splurged a giant wad of cash all over Barry Fry's face in exchange for a Scottish International. There was a grimmace of concern on seeing Murray leave so quickley, but in fact we've bought somebody better. In terms of flair we're close to boilling point, god have mercy on Doncaster Rovers*.

* yes, yes, we know we'll lose 0-2

JACK STRAW WE SALUTE YOU

2011-06-17T15:32:00.000+01:00

A tear befell many an Albionite's cheek as the final installment of Jack Straw's Falmer Watch was posted on NSC earlier today. Jack - or Graeme to those that have had the pleasure of meeting him - perhaps didn't realise what he was getting into when he linked the first snaps in early 2009, but in hindsight he has provided a focal point for, arguably, the most documented club stadium development in history.

A testament to the man is his commitment to his calendar project. At christmas a couple of years ago my Dad remarked on his surprise to find that Graeme personally delivered his copy one evening - and don't forget that a couple of weighty cheques have been sent to the Supporters Club and the Historians Society off the back of those efforts.

At the start of 2011 we interviewed Graeme as part of our Best of 2010 feature in the fanzine, which you can read below.

What is your routine on fridays?

Before I leave work each Thursday, the trusty step-ladder gets loaded in to the Strawmobile. On the way to work each Friday, I pick up a very good colleague of mine and we drive to the junction of Falmer Road and Village Way. I then tour the perimeter of the Amex site on foot with my trusty step-ladder, whilst my colleague takes over the wheels and drives back to Falmer station where I rejoin her after the photographs have been taken. It's then off to work, where during my lunch break, I post the best of the photos on North Stand Chat, along with a bit of text, incorperating something historical which may have happened that week, in order that in years to come, this fact helps people to put in to context when the photos were taken.

At what point did you realise you had to continue taking pictures?

Working opposite the site, whilst all the planning fights were going on, I used to look at the empty field, and promise myself that once permission was granted, I would take photos on a weekly basis, initially just for my benefit. I then thought it would be nice to put these photos on the internet so that far-flung Albion fans could also enjoy what I am very fortunate to be able to witness each week. There was never a doubt in my mind that I would follow this project right through to the end. I'm well known for liking a challenge, and never giving up.

Which time in construction in 2010 was the most impressive in terms of "oh wow, there's actually a stadium now"

There has been several land-mark events in the build, every one significant in its own way, marking the next step on the way to what will be undoubtadly a magnificent piece of archictecture.

First, JCBs digging holes and moving soil about.
Then the widening of Village Way.
The coach park being tarmacced.
The blue perimeter hoarding being erected.
Chalk rather than soil all over the site.
The East Stand steel springing up all of a sudden.
The arrival of the first piece of arch. That's a story all of its own!
The demolition of the University of Brighton buildings.
The East Stand terracing being cast.
The other three stands rising in no time.
Possibly the most momentous occasion would be the raising of the arches.
Soon after, the temporary arch supports were removed.
The cladding and glazing of the West Stand.
The new footbridge at Falmer station.
Now, the structure is complete, and it's all going mad inside.
The next exciting bit will be the pitch area which now ready to receive the root zone soil.

Each of these occasions, so significant and meaning another step completed on the road to Falmer which we started to walk oh so long ago.

How helpful have the club been in assisting your escapades?

Martin Perry has been very helpful by arranging monthly inside visits for me a few months ago, but unfortunately, these are on hold for the moment due to the intensity of work going on within the stands, but I'm hoping that these will resume sooner rather than later, as photo opportunities from outside are now very limited indeed.

What sort of reaction have you had from fans because of your work?

Fans have posted wonderful messages of thanks and support from day one, and I seem to have built up quite a following.

What's next?

When the stadium is completed, my work will be done, well, perhaps not quite. Most people will know that I, along with my partner in crime Ginger Bob, have produced a couple of calendars these last two years, featuring photos of the build of the stadium. Even after the stadium is up and running, I will continue to take photos for the rest of this year in order to produce the third and final calendar of the "Jack Straw's American Express Community Stadium Calendar Trilogy". This means that if you have bought all three, you will have a sort of book, documenting the whole of the stadium build from start to fiinish, including the ramp-up events, opening day and beyond. You will even be able to buy a "Box set" in a nice box containing all three calendars. You will also be able to buy any of the three calendars, or/and the box in any combination. We will then be able to make another substantial donation to Brighton & Hove Albion Supporters Club or the Collectors & Historians Society. Yes, then my work will finally be done.

Jack Straw, we salute you.

ALBION TUBE STATION XI

2011-06-16T08:33:00.004+01:00

When I last penned a themed Albion side on the subject of food, I got absolutely panned by the many TSLRites I frequent away matches with. That was just one reason why we wanted to remain anoynomous when we initially created the TSLR beast but, in selling copies, we've realised you end having to know some people. And those people know (and tell you) when you write shite. And I'm the first to admit that shite was written in my Albion Food XI in which the only real joke was Radostin Quicheishev. But now I've had a few weeks away from the Albion (and a few weeks away from dissenting voices), I thought it time I step up for what is my third themed Albion eleven - this time it's based on Tube stations in London. A theme widened out to include London Overground and DLR services because I'm not wasting as much of my time on this one. Feel free to read on, it's better than reading about King kazenga LuaLua. Again. And even if he does sign, he still won't be exciting until he actually plays football.

1. Michael LadPoke Grove - this jug eared (and retained) keeper is known to travel on the Circle or Hammersmith and City Line.

2. Matthew Hackney Wicks - the defender can revert to right-back on London Overground.

3. Westferry Mayo - OK, so the dodgy kneed ginger prince is actually on the DLR but it all counts, right?

4. Warren Street Aspinall - this veteran grey haired baldy can be found on the Victoria Line. Usually asking for money in a polystyrene cup.

5. Colin Goldhawkins Road - the Irish own goal superstar is on both the Circle and Hammersmith and City lines.

6. Steve Cockfosters - the headbanded warrior is located on the east end of the Piccadilly Line.

7. Matt Sparrow and Wealdstone - Spadge hangs around at the top of the Bakerloo Line and is sometimes available at Sparrow-on-the-Hill on the Metropolitan Line or even North, South and West Sparrow which are all in the same area.

8. Elm Park Barham - the right sided midfielder is way out east on the District Line. Incidentally, Mark played for England.

9. Leon Kinghtsbridge - the gambling superstar and footballing disappointment is west on the Piccadilly Line.

10. Ashley High Barne(s)t - our current main striker sits on the west strand at the northern tip of the Northern Line.

11. Liverpaul McDonald Street - this tricky winger can be found on a few London Underground lines and is a mainline rail station. Like a train, the Scot used to leave the station and come back to do the same journey again and again.

And of course, they'd be managed by Russell Square Slade on the Piccadilly Line. And a special mention goes to substitute keeper Casper Bankergren on the Central Line. Thank you, and goodnight.

THE COHAWK ROUND UP

2011-06-13T08:14:00.000+01:00

We're a little worried about next season. Last season producing TSLR was tough - the previous two seasons had been easy to produce cynical copy about a poor side. Last year, there were no complaints but writing positive is undoubtedly harder. That's why we say things on Twitter like the north and south stands at Falmer do look a bit pony - that's the job of a fanzine, to criticise as much as possible. In the first two years of our slightly esteemed publication, there was comedy gold in the form of Sir Colin Hawkins. The own-goal scoring perennial injury victim Irish superstar filled plenty of column inches with ineptitude alone. Last year that tag was taken by the horse, Sir Fran Sandaza, but since his lack of renewed contract we're on the lookout for the next inept player. But with all this money around, there may not be one.

So, with the League of Ireland running through the summer and boredom levels around who we might buy at a premium, I thought I'd pen a little ditty to our favourite own goal scorer in our (viewed) Albion history. For those who haven't read the CoHawk update in TSLR029 (shame on you, copies still available), Hawkins joined Dundalk after his previous side, Sporting Fingal, folded in February before the LOI season began. We left you in April and here's how he has got on ever since.

The Hawk was awarded man of the match in the 1-1 draw between Dundalk and Sligo Rovers on Friday 15 April and the Extra Time website said: "very little got past him all through the game." We wondered of this was the same man who played so memorably for the stripes. Doubts were increased when Dundalk fired themselves into the Setantanta Cup Final on Monday 18 April. They beat Cliftonville 2-1 to earn the pleasure of a final but the Hawk was referenced in the Irish Times as failing to clear the danger ahead of the visiting side's only goal of the game. Now that's the Hawk we know.

But he didn't leave it there, CoHa was back come the 22 April when he scored (up the right end this time) in the win against Drogheda. Unfortunately, the Hawk was back to form in that same match, or so wrote the Examiner: "Mark Nolan's cross wasn't cut out by Colin Hawkins and Dinny Corcoran headed past Peter Cherrie."

Come 2 May and the draw with Shamrock Rovers, the Hawk didn't crown himself in glory claimed RTE Sport: "Rovers looked dangerous going forward and some anxious moments from Colin Hawkins and Michael Hector in the Lilywhites back four suggested they would find some joy." They lost the Setanta Cup Final against Shamrock Rovers and Hawkins only got back in the press after the 2-0 win against UCD when he claimed that Dundalk are searching for a European place. CoHa in Europe, now we've heard everything. He even found an Argus to sound off on to feel like he was at home.

The Hawk career was strengthened further by yet another goal in the home win against Derry City on 26 May: "Colin Hawkins was the home hero as his headed goal late in the first half proved to be the difference." Extra Time went on to state that the goal came when the Hawk had 'abandoned his defensive duties' which made us all feel like it is definitely THE Colin Hawkins. The Irish Times confirmed this: "A misjudgment by Colin Hawkins allowed Zayed another sniff of goal in the 27th minute."

Now the last time I heard Hawkins was on the YouTube video uploaded by We Are Brighton but for a more up to date version of his voice, try this little recording from 24 May. We were aware of the clip because we follow Dundalk on Twitter, and you can too.

Where does that leave our favourite Irish team? Well European ambitions are not quite there at the moment, being as they are five points and four places from the hallowed third spot. But with the season running until October, who knows what might happen.

So that's the Hawk fully updated with. Watch out on the blog for the Fran Sandaza diary written exclusively by the Horse himself later in the summer. In the meantime, why not follow the ridiculous rumour mill or actually enjoy your summer. Sir Colin of Hawkins, here at TSLR, we salute you.

THE ERREA THING

2011-06-09T12:07:00.001+01:00

With Brighton and Hove Jobs big cheese Gary Peters tweeting his pride at seeing the new Albion shirt being manufactured, it bought back that familier feeling of anxiety ahead of any press launches including the words 'Technical Kit Suppliers', 'Brighton and Hove Albion' and 'Errea'.

The video of which the recruitment entrepreneur spoke of got us quite interested. He tweeted that he saw the shirt being made, which leads TSLR to presume that it was the flash Parma factory on show, not the rumoured Errea sweatshop in Romania (hey, at least it's in the EU).

As design goes, we have heard good things about the new kit, and last year's home effort was probably the most popular shirt since 1999/2000. This must be down to the fact that all Errea designers have accreditation from the Italian Institute of Art, an establishment that has no website or Wikipedia page. We can only guess that it's highly exclusive, for instance, look at the Milano catwalk influence on our modern classics like last year's mustard/navy striped away kit.

We are also made aware of the fact that we get bespoke designs from Errea, a privilage of course made possible because of our close links with the manufacturers and their team. We won't go on about the template away kits we've also had from Errea over the last few years because we don't want to spoil the illusion, but we presume the off-the-peg designs are a lot cheaper for the club to buy and re-sell exclusively in their outlets.

Errea's bespoke designs are quite pretty though. Above you'll see the new Mansfield Town kit, a generic Errea template that doesn't exactly get the tongue wagging but probably fits with the Stag's budgets and expectations of sales.

Now check out the new Norwich City shirt. Quite a coup for Errea, this classic design will be worn in the Premiership and has drawn plaudits on the football shirt blogs for it's restrained features and subtle touches.

You might have seen the accompaning video (here) that promoted the new shirt, quite funny we think, though undoubtedly nothing to do with Errea!

If you're expecting something similar from our dazzling marketing department, we imagine it'll be more like this beauty we found from Inverness Caledonian Thistle who sent Terry Butcher out to Parma to make a pizza!

So, as far as Italian stereotypes go, Norwich in their video have used unsportsmanlike behaviour, coffee, narcissism and a moped whilst austere Caley Thistle have just used the pizza card.

Where does this leave Albion in terms of their promo? Here at TSLR HQ we have our fingers crossed for a Tony Bloom / Gullys Girls bunga-bunga party scene in a Tuscan villa, or how about a Gus amd Tanno Godfather set-up with some Croydon scallywag waking up with Fran Sandaza's head next to them?

Either way, the club would do well to engage fans in the design process of our shirts as opposed to the boardroom brain storms that currently make do. In an interview with Errea's UK account manager a couple of years ago, DesignFootball.com were told that clubs that offer a range of shirts to fans to vote on have - in this case Grimsby Town - "a very close connection to the club's fans", whilst Middlebrough fans also enjoyed having their voices heard when working with the Italians; Errea being the first manufacturer in England to involve fans in the design process. Do we not have a close bond between club and fans?

Anyway, fingers crossed. The next home shirt will probably be the most-purchased in our history, let's hope it reflects everything and everybody that was involved in getting us to this position in the first place.

FAREWELL WITHERS

2011-06-08T09:18:00.004+01:00

I've been meaning to post this piccy for some time but various dreams of having a summer away from the Albion's inner thoughts prevented me from doing so. There are positives of thinking about the Albion despite wanting a summer off. This overwhelming transfer activity at least means that I still have something to talk to the whole family about (all recent phone calls had an air of silence about them until the Bennett transfer). This latest million pound signing (with more to come!?) means I've had to put my head back into the world of the club, even if we're seemingly becoming a little too big already.

Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is this picture was one of the highlights of trophy/ leaving Withers day. And rumour has it that these six older ladies and one older gentleman (good work, good sir) lost seventeen days, two quilts, one colleague but no self-respect in constucting a banner that made emotional wrecks of us all. I had planned to cry during the trophy presentation but the disastrous ineptitude of the nPower monkeys meant that, not only was the presentation embarrassingly paraded in front of an empty stand with two blokes holding the backdrop in place, my tears were only forthcoming when King Kazenga LuaLua turned up to dazzle us all for one final time last season.

That's that then. Photee posted. I'm off to construct a dream transfer list for Sir Gus thanks to this to add to the LuaLua/Lansbury dream. Although, the players on the PFA transfer list just don't seem pricey enough to me these days.

ALMOST OVER IT

2011-06-03T08:07:00.007+01:00

So I'd finally weaned myself off the crackpipe-like player formerly known as Glenn Murray (now known simply as cockface) when I stumbled across this street sign on a recent trip across norf London to Camden. Though I cried long into the summery evening, it reminded me of the hilarious work from Brighton and Palace fans on Twatter around that up-in-the-air period that came just before the confirmation of cockface's transfer. Here are the best Tweets from an array of humoress individuals that you should all follow on Twatter once you've started following us.

THRIIIIKER Charlie Mahoney
Glenn Murray trending? The awkward moment when signing a Brighton striker on a free becomes the best thing to happen to your club in years.

ImMrBrightside7 Ashley Bradley
"Glenn Murray" IS trending on Twitter - yet "fucking twat" isn't?

MWmagic Mark Williams
Glenn Murray has had to take out a super injunction to stop anyone knowing that he ever played for Brighton FC !! #cpfc #eaglesshitonseaguls

mattmidd7 matt middleton
Can't wait for Palace to come down to the Amex! Wonder if Glenn Murray is preparing his injury......#alotofabuse

jennykackett Jenny Kackett
Glenn Murray signs for Palace. Obviously enjoys it, you know, in League One, then.

emil0r Kendallcakes
Oh, before I go, here is Glenn Murray loving signing for Palace. #cpfc http://t.co/vxnWsAy

EightAce149 Octavius Ace
Glenn Murray photoshopping on NSC #bhafc #cpfc http://lockerz.com/s/104509459

Gibbo911 Jamie Gibson
Cheers for Glenn Murray #bhafc if 6 points v you weren't easy enough we now have your top scorer to help #cpfc

bishthebash Steven Bishop
@RobynTalkSPORT @wearebrighton Glenn Murray: wanker. Oh wait, he'll fit right in at #cpfc then. #bhafc

END OF SEASON SURVEY

2011-06-01T09:49:00.004+01:00

When we published our end of season survey in TSLR029 way back in April, there were simply too many words to fit into our small A5 pages. Thus, here is the full unabridged version which'll keep you busy for at least half an hour of this terrid off season period which is hampering all of our lives. All comments are initial-ised with the full names being printed at the end. Bear in mind that this issue was published with the Southampton game still to be played so the dreams of beating them for the trophy will have to remain just that.

In your words, what happened this season?

We've played Premiership football in League 1 (CX)//I've been walking half awake, through a wonderful, beautiful dream. (HK)//Everything and no one would have expected it. Thrashing teams, glorious football, winning 8 from 8 in March, being top for a long time - the list goes on (TM)//We pissed this fucking league. (JO)//Well, you could put our success down to the way the management team have coached and instilled confidence in our squad to perform the way they have OR it could be my lucky blue boxers and new wrist watch combination which has been worn since Swindon away on the opening game of the season. (BR)//I see trees of green, A stadium too, Thanks to Bloom, For me and you, And I think to myself, What a wonderful world. We're top of the league, credit to Gus, It's been quite a ride, all on his bus. (BZ)// We got good. Somehow. (RM)//I got spat on and flounced from NSC because we're too good for this league. (WW)//Chas sorted it out and we stuck it in the mixer. (LZ)//We done good (JB)//We've learnt how to play total football. (AJ)//The best season of my life so far - aged 44 so the mind can just about stretch to Mullery (TR)//I genuinely believe we may have witnessed the second coming. Not many scholars would have predicted it would have come in the form of a South American lothario. In all seriousness I genuinely believe that we may have witnessed the start of a very special managerial career. So far that difficult second album has gone pretty well so I see no reason why he can't go on to establish a footballing dynasty that given the right backing could flourish for years to come. (BT)//we all hopped on the Gus Bus and bought a one way ticket to the Championship. (BN)//Best possible way to say goodbye to Withdean (RK)//BHAFC became a proper football club again. Our pride was restored on and off the pitch. (SM)//Good manager, good team, chairman will bundles of dough. (TB)//We found God (Gus) started playing great football with some great players. (FY)//Brighton and it's fans have been paid back, with interest, for the faith, loyalty and dedication shown. (TOW)//Zounds! Lawks-a-lawdy! Yikes! Sorry, I'm not very expressive. And I read too many British comics from the 1970s. (FS)//Getting rid of Forster and getting Barnes in instead was the masterstroke we all predicted. And we always knew El-Abd could play at centre-half in the way Gus wants him to. Russell Slade's midfield of Bennett and Dicker also did OK. It's no surprise where we are. (MD)//The sceptics were forced to eat their words. (LB)//Complete domination through beautiful football (TH)//Gus started the bus, sent it whizzing down the league 1 highway, leaving the F1 Aints and Hudds in the dust and then, once ahead, parked the bus and let no one past. Championship here we come. (SCS)//we absolutely stormed it! (SG)//A miracle (AM)//Football is a simple game - If you keep possession of the ball, the other team cannot score (JTM)//Eeeeees not complicated eees simple we win the league! (NR)//We became unbeatable at home. (TJ)//We signed a few players who gus knew could play his way and the others watched and learned (RO)//It all came magically together (JU)//A transformation, with the exception of some clever buys we are the same side as last season and we are walking away with the league (NS)//It's been Bang Tidy! (MU)//Gus and Bloom (JPH)//Gus football philosophy re-educated the players and fans alike. It was a case of, 'forget what you think you know about how to play football, we're starting again from scratch'. It took some longer than others to see what he was trying to achieve but the results speak for themselves. It’s a shame but we still get one or two unenlightened folk screaming to 'lump it forward'. We've moved on from that. We're playing entertaining, winning football. 'The Brighton Way'. (EA)//We started brightly, playing attractive football, took top position and have stayed there ever since, the football became a bit more back to the wall stuff in March but got us the results week in week out, with only a few games left we look odds on for the title, promotion to the championship and to our new home the Amex at Falmer. (RP)//We won lots of games, Murray became the player we all knew he was, Benno nearly left us, Some waste of air Argies tried passing themselves off as footballers & failed (TMGC)//'Standin' on your mama's porch You told me it would last forever Oh the way you held my hand I knew that it was now or never Those were the best days of my life' (CA)//My wildest dreams came true with fantastic flowing football, brilliant home form, a record equalling March, some terrific away results and our very own Field of Dreams emerging for next season. (NBV)//Two men, one from Brighton, one from U r a gay turned up and took the club to new level, on and off the pitch. (BE)//We got good! (ZY)//We had a wicked pre-season in Portugal, signed some good players, and tore the fucking league apart. (AG)//We played tippy tappy football and blew the division away. And we learned how to win games one way or another. (TSOP)

What has been the best game this season, and why?

Rochdale away - I got to stroke sexy Pete (GP)// Brighton 4 - 3 Carlisle. Much more entertaining than being 3-0 up after half an hour snoozefests. It was a competitive game of football for once. One which had excitement, comical defending, and a last minute, foot like a traction engine, winner. It was the stuff of champions. The stuff of dreams! (BM)//Can't decide between Peterborough and Charlton away. Total football. (DT)//Charlton Away 4-0, some people say Peterboro but they were reduced to ten early on. (TM)//Carlisle, last gasp winner, superb! (SP)//Plymouth Argyle away - decent ground, good support and felt like being in an Aviva advert, what's not to like? (BS)//Charlton away; to me that sent a message that we were serious contenders (RC)//When we BATTERED Southampton at home to secure the league title. It was especially satisfying to see Adkins snap after 90 minutes of abuse, screaming "ONLY IF THEY CAN KEEP UP WITH US! ONLY IF THEY CAN KEEP UP WITH US!" repeatedly, before collapsing in a flood of stupid, stupid tears. (JO)//Carlisle at home. A cracking game with a quality goal in added time to win it. Unbelievable. (BR)//Home - Carlisle - Bridcutt Winner Away - Peterborough - Away Terrace, we were class! (BW)//Peterborough away - good side who score goals for fun and we again kept a clean sheet. (BB)//Brighton 5 v 0 Orient. My best mate supports Orient. (RM)//Charlton, apart from the spitting incident. (WW)//Carlisle at home. Bridcutt's strike and going mental (RE)//Charlton away has got to be the best just due to our sheer dominance. (LZ)//Away v Saints - we saw steel there, we started to believe (JB)//Probably the Oldham game, due to the fact we went to the top of the league. And for Taricco’s celebration in front of the south stand! (AJ)//The away game V Peterborough United. The performance was just sublime and unlike anything we've seen by a Brighton team for over 30 years. (SU)//Peterborough United away - last chance to stand on that famous old terrace, a packed away end, and quite simply a performance that should have heralded at least six or seven goals. Never in 24 years have I seen such a dominant performance against a fellow promotion chasing team. Just simple bloody awesome. (BT)//the home game against Oldham when Sandaza smashed in from 4cm out to send us top of the league. (BN)//Posh away. Best performance since Charlton at Home in 84. Best away performance ever! (RK)//Carlisle and Oldham home. Watford, Charlton, Posh and Oldham away. (MG)//Charlton away. Never before have I seen a Brighton team so comprehensively outplay the opposition. I was absolutely gobsmacked. They were in the Premiership so recently. (SM)//Peterborough away. We were expected to draw maybe lose and a lot of supporters thought a win would be hard to come by but we played them off the park and could\should’ve been 7-0, also a brilliant atmosphere (FY)//FA Cup Vs Portsmouth - pure football lesson against a disorganised, spoilt bunch of whingers. (TOW)//Carlisle. I knew we'd be Champions. We just don't do that. And we did. (FS)//Although tempting to pick Peterborough away or Orient at home, it has to be Carlisle at home for the sheer delight of Liam's goal. (MD)//Charlton (A) showed us that we could believe, Brentford (A) reminded us that standing is good and introduced us to a 10 minute long song that took more than 48 hours to leave my head and the head of my Pompey mate that came with me (TH)//Hopefully Walsall away - promotion & my nephew's first game! (RS)//The one we win promotion with (tbc) (SCS)//Honourable mention for Exeter away because it came at a crucial time and we never looked like coming back until Gus brought on Barnes and went with three centre forwards for the first time (SG)//Carlisle on the radio (AM)//For sheer class, Leyton Orient at home. For sheer mettle, Charlton Athletic at home. (JTM)//Peterborough away. Tore them to bits, fantastic atmosphere on a good, old fashioned away terrace. (N4)//Oldham at home - we went top with an injury time goal and my 3 year old sang all the way home (RO)//Haven't had it yet. (JU)//Bristol Rovers away. Going 1-0 down in difficult conditions in a banana skin game, and still coming away with a resounding victory. And it was the first time I watched a game in a tent (JPH)//Charlton away 4-0 100-1 it was worth a £1. Away support was fantastic (ML)//Charlton away, pure class. Best I have EVER seen us play (MC)//POSH Away. We totally dismantled a very good side in their own back yard in a game they billed their 'Cup Final'. One of the best, complete all round performances Ive seen in 35 years as an Albion fan. (Could have made a 90min DVD imo) (EA)//The Cube. More action in a box than Ankergren gets in his penalty area each week because we're so shit hot. (CA)//Peterborough Away - it was their cup final, their home record was impressive and they were scoring freely. The Super Seagulls completely outplayed them. (NBV)//Charlton away, dominated from start to finish, it was like watching a beautifully crafted piece of artwork. (LI)//Peterborough away; Turning in that performance so soon after Charlton away, spooky! (ZY)

If you had 60 seconds with Gus, what would you say to him?

What is the correct way to pronounce Poyet? (SZ)//This tippy tappy football lark, eeeeess complicated, yes? (PB)//Just beat the f*cking Palace next season. (CX)//What is complicated? (BM)//gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias gracias (RC)//Nothing - my mouth would be full of his cock. (JO)//I'd congratulate him on producing a team which has played the best football I have seen in my 38 seasons watching the Albion. (BR)//Talking makes time go quicker. I would simply want to savour the 60 seconds. Touch his hand. Take in his smell. Look into those mysterious eyes. (BZ)//Nothing. I would be too busy licking him to see what he tastes of. (RM)//1) Will you marry me? 2) Chris Holroyd. Diego Arismendi. What the hell were you thinking? (WW)//How do you do it? (RE)//I have had 60 seconds with Gus, and it was ‘Can i have a Photo please Sir!’ (AVS)//1. Thank you 2. Thank you 3. Thank you (JB)//I love u, but acting on it iz complicated. (SSLC)//Thank you and keep up the good work. And then probably invite him over to my house for a romantic dinner. (AJ)//I love you, please stay with us forever. (SD)//Can you give me some coaching tips for my Under 9's team! (SU)//SAY to him? We would do something else twice! (BT)//I've been banging them in for my 5-a-side team this year, any chance of a run out in the championship? (BN)//Buy seven new quality players during the summer. (TB)//Here is a 10 year contract...please sign here. (ABS)//Thank you for delivering a great team at such a great time...and if you go anywhere I'll send the boys round! (TOW)//Nothing. Never meet your heroes. Especially when they're quite difficult to understand. (FS)//What is the point of having Chris Holroyd on the bench? No, its not complicated, it's very simple - he is no good. (MD)//Don't visit Eva Petulengro. She'll give you crap predictions for next season. (SCS)//Wanna go for a pint? I'm paying. (N4)//Hola Gus. Me llamo el jackal. Queres tu una otra cerveza, caballero? Quero jugar en tu equipo. Es posible? Tengo un pie derecho de dios! Por favor mi amigo, es buen idea. Gracias por tu tiempo. (TJ)//I love you, please also keep Gary Dicker as he's fit. (MU)//You are a total legend, and have turned this club around while playing total football!! (TP)//I would rather the question was 'If you had 60 seconds with Gus, what would you DO to him?' (JPH)//Do you have naked pictures of your wife? Wanna buy some? (MI)//I love you gus will you marry me we could have a civil ceremony (GD)//Gus you are a god, you have done the unthinkable, created a team which play attractive football and are a joy to watch and support (RP)//Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Erm give Glenn Murray whatever he wants (TMGC)//¿cuál es su galleta preferida (CA)//Thank you for showing us the beautiful game can be played in English football. (TDCH)//I would tell him I loved him, and then do literally anything he asked. Anything. (SM)//Don't EVER leave the south coast. (CH95)//Hola Gus, don't you dare even think about ever leaving us. Give the Horse a one year deal. (AG)

What are you going to do for the first game of next season?

I shall be flying from Toronto and will hopefully be in attendance at The Amex. (PB)//try and behave (GP)//Probably sit there quietly, and be totally overwhelmed. (HK)//Spend ages on trying to work out how to use the oyster card thing to buy some noodles and a bottle of coke, maybe strut my stuff down the catwalk in the new club shop, then cry at how ridiculously good our new home is. Then have a moan about how our passing game won’t work in the Championship. (BM)//Tightly hold my children’s hands and show them what a proper home crowd at the team we love looks like - oh and cry. (RG)//Get to the amex early and have a good nose round, then retire to the bar and get slowly pissed. (TM)//Our group will walk from the site of the Goldstone to Falmer. Don't wish to be part of a big walk attracting the media, just a symbolic gesture. (BR)//Wake up like a kid at Christmas, suck in the atmosphere, and enjoy Falmer! (BW)//Blub like a baby probably. (PMB)//Lament the fact our new ground is out of town. (RM)//Moan? (WW)//Walk over the hills to see the stadium in all its glory. And cry a lot. (RE)//Open up the Champagne that has been on ice 14 years (AVS)//I'm not going to get too drunk...I want to remember everything. (LZ)//Get emotional (PS)//1901 - G&T and prawn sarnies. I don't like gin or prawns but I don't care! (JB)//Have a wank in the norf stand toilets (SSLC)//Savour the fact that I am able to watch the first game at the new stadium. Many didn’t live to see that day, my mother included (BG)//I'll be in bits (TR)//Feel like I was 8 again on Xmas morning. (RK)//If I get a ticket - probably teary-eyed in the stands. If I don't - probably teary-eyed at home. (SM)//Head to the goldstone, our old drinking haunts of the Hove Park Tavern, The Exchange before heading to the Bloom'in marvelous Amex. (ABS)//Prepare the normal way and enter the ground with my grandad whose been taking me for 10years and see my first game of us at our real home as my first was in 2000 and sing my heart out for 90 minutes (FO)//Pub - Train - East Concourse Bar - Cry - Game - Bar - Train - Pub. Just hope my 13yr old daughter and 9yr old son can get me home ok. (FS)//Get to the Supporters' Bar as early as possible. And leave late. (LB)//Get a ticket! Or sulk! (RS)//Sit down in front of my computer and weep tears of frustration that I can't be at the Amex. (SCS)//Arrive a little earlier than I have been for the Withdean. Very possibly indulge in some on site alcohol sales. (DR)//Get the train down from Dorking with my Dad, get to the ground early, probably buy the new shirt, get in the ground and sample some real Ales. (N4)//Be in Italy. But can't wait for the other 22 games travelling from Doncaster. (MU)//Watch us lose 2-0 to Barnsley from my North Stand perch (JPH)//Play cricket (ML)//Go to it (MC)//sit in my west stand seat behind Gus’s dugout (I’m not stalking him) probably get there 3-4 hours before kick off to make sure i don’t miss any of this historic occasion (GD)//Turn up as early as possible, Try and work a nice arse groove in my new padded seat. (TMGC)//Turn up at 9am and leave a trail of drool all around the ground and up to my seat, watch Gary Hart and Kerry Mayo score the first goals at the Amex, then get splattered. (AG)//Sing in a manner that would make the Go Compare bloke sound like The Horse Whisperer (TSOP)

What do you hope is going to happen at the Amex opening ceremony?

Crystal Palace will burn down (GP)//That they shoot Archer and Bellotti out of Cannons (CX)//Keith Chegwin and Timmy Mallett whipping the crowd up into a mild frenzy of a Mexican wave and massive foam hand waving, whilst Mark McGhee and Leon Knight fight it out to the death in the centre circle in inflatable fat sumo suits. (BM)//Brass band blaring out GOSBTS. That it’s done with class; no American razzmatazz, no screaming PA loon. The crowd will make enough noise on its own. (DT)//Fatboy Slim, into Sussex by the Sea by the Royal Marines Marching band followed by us walking out of the tunnel to the loudest noise ever heard (RG)//Diana Ross Missing a penalty to symbolise this current season for us (BS)//Free booze for everyone! (AR)//The age of Gully's Girls is upped to a minimum of 18 to stop me feeling ‘confused’. (RM)//Hopefully they will play a game of football. (PS)//I should put the hurt and anger behind me now - but why don't we build a bonfire. (TR)//We lure Messrs Bellotti and Archer back to rejoice in the splendour of our new surroundings and then in a ceremony akin to the Ashes bail burning we light a funeral pyre in the centre circle and the team inhale the smoke, from which they grow strength and go on to win the Championship in style. Revenge and redemption all in one. (BT)//Gully's Girls do a nude show. (TB)//Bill Archer on a Stick and Dick Knight, Martin Perry & TB get the prolonged ovation they so rightly deserve (TOW)//GOSBTS played by a proper military band; miked up and banging out over the mega-wattage-tannoy. And Attila plays some 'Dexys' - preferably 'There There My Dear'. (FS)//Maybe a bonfire with certain individuals on the top and in the middle would be nice. (MD)//I just hope my bladder holds out. (LB)//There's no way they'd sanction the burning of effigies, so I don't think it'll happen (TH)//We get an automatic pass to the Premiership (then I can watch us live on TV every week) (SCS)//Every person who made it possible, through all those years of shit, get the full appreciation from the fans that they deserve. Either that or Jo from the Gully Girls gets her bangers out. (N4)//GOSBTS slowly! (NR)//Gully's head will explode. (TJ)//Rename it Falmer. (MU)//Costa v Watts. Mud wrestling (JPH)//Tony Bloom will hand out free Champagne (MI)//Gus says yes lol. Hopefully, watch a top level premiership team get taken apart by our superb title winning side (GD)//Diana Ross scores the penalty this time. She’s as bad as our lot! (EA)//Dancing girls, old team’s players and tony bloom paraded around. The man is our saviour along with Dick knight and a host of other unsung heroes. (RP)//A bare arsed paddling of Bellotti & Archer on the centre spot. And the unveiling of a statue of the clay head from Lionel Ritchie’s 'Hello' video (TMGC)//Nigel Adkins and Alan Pardew will join Gully's Girls in a routine to the tune of the Only Way is Up by Yazz (BE)//A Beijing-esque opening ceremony culminates in the launch of a rocket that is launched by a lit Dick Knight fart which destroys Selhurst Park (AG)//A giant papier mache seagull will burst open to reveal Gully's Girls dancing to Steve Miller Band's Fly Like An Eagle but with the lyrics changed for obvious reasons (TSOP)

Withdean was alright huh? What was your favourite game at the ground?

Chesterfield 1-0. Or Leicester 3-2. Or Carlisle the other week. (HK)//Withdean has been brilliant to us, for all its flaws, it has hosted the most successful era of football I have watched in 24 years of going. Three automatic promotions, and the play offs in 2004, but my favourite game was still the first one. Brighton 6-0 Mansfield. It meant that I never had to sit on a double decker bus to Gillingham ever again in my life. (BM)//Swindon play-off win. We either had excellent home records, or atrocious. No middle ground. (DT)//Although obvious it has to be the Swindon play off semi. Soaking wet and very, very happy. (RG)//Tough one. For me personally probably Man City at home, tho Carlisle this season came close and Chesterfield Cullip header. (TM)//Steward Baiting (BS)//’Well the 30 minutes are almost up, Swindon fans...but you're not there yet. In it goes..! OH IT'S GONE IN! Brighton, in added-on time, have snatched the goal through Virgo! Incredible! Once again there is late, late, late drama in the play-offs!’ (JO)//I'll have to go for the Swindon game. When all was lost, feeling thoroughly pissed off and soaked to the skin, up stepped Adam Virgo. To coin a phrase, marvellous scenes. Made all the more better as I was able to share it with my then nine year-old daughter. (BR)//The 'cupset' against Man City was excellent. The 4-0 drubbing of Watford and news filtering through that Palace had scored, giving us hope of a great escape, was a wonderful experience. I'm going to go with the Mansfield Town. Back in Brighton. Our future looking brighter. Local boy bags a hat-trick and there was finally a buzz. (BZ)/1st Jan 2011 5-0 win over Orient - relentless. (BB)//Presuming you want something other than 6-0 first game/Swindon Play Off/Chesterfield title win, I'll opt for playing Wolves off the park, 4-1. OGH - class act! (WW)//Carlisle 4-3 was superb. I blew my load when Bridcutt smashed in the winner. (LZ)//The 8-0 cup match. I remember Joe Gatting being brought on - I think we were already 6 up, Gatts of course missed an open goal. The bloke behind me shouted ‘You only get one chance!’ (TR)//On a selfish note it would have to be the 6-2 game against Torquay United. I had lost my mum the day before after a long battle with illness and the Albion were the perfect tonic. (BT)//1. Chesterfield - Seeing a Brighton captain lift a trophy for the first time was unbeatable and unforgettable. 2. Bristol City - Never gone more berserk at a goal. 3. Swindon - But came close with Virgo's. (MG)//Tough question - I'm hoping it will be Southampton in a few weeks. (SM)//Swindon in the play-off final. An emotional rollercoaster of high's and lows. (ABS)//Cheaterfraud at home, Danny Cullip, brown envelopes everywhere and the win that made us Champions, irrespective of the Crooked Spireites' ludicrously lenient points deduction. Justice. (MD)//Stuffing Sunderland and the NSC match sponsors being told by Martin Perry to sit down and keep quiet. The Sunderland directors were delightfully gracious to us. (LB)//Possibly v Leicester when we were 2-0 down, Or beating Chesterfield/Reading. But most likely when we beat the world's richest club. (DR)//Albion 1-2 Swindon Town...Albion win on pens. 'Nuff said! (JTM)//Chesterfield on that tuesady/wed night. Danny Cullip header, 1-0 win that made sure we won the League regardless of their points deduction. The South Stand shook like never before when that ball went in. (N4)//This season Orient, in total Man City! (NR)//Northwich Victoria, first round of the FA cup 2006. (NS)//Man City. However, I was in the away end. (MU)//Not the full game but the end of the '04 Swindon playoff semi final second leg was the mutts. Virgos header and the pens! Awesome! (EA)//Beating Cheaterfield - Cullip's bullet header, putting their supporters in their place and making our rightful claim for the first of the Withdean trophies. Closely followed by the Swindon Play-Off Semi 2nd Leg, in the lashing rain and looking dead and buried - Virgs we salute you! (NBV)//The Swindon play-off game. By far and away the best 2-1 defeat that I got drenched watching ever. (SM)//The Chesterfield title game, i watched it from the trees (ZY)//Man City Cup win, or last day survival win under Russell Salad (TSOP)

Oh god, Withdean was awful! What was the worst game you ever saw there and why?

The 1999 match against Chester where we capitulated two goals late in the match to turn a win into a loss. The next day I flew to NZ (no causal link though). (SZ)//2006. Losing 5-1 to Stoke. I flew from Toronto to attend a game that Mark McGhee deemed meaningless. It wasn't meaningless to me or anyone else, you dour Scottish twat. (PB)//The 0-1 defeat to Walsall's 9 men. Sake. (HK)//September 20th 2008. Brighton 0 - 1 Walsall. Walsall down to 9 men after 30 mins. We suffer the humiliation of them scoring, then it was 45 minutes of Matt Richards crossing the ball, Clayton Ince catching it, wasting time, then kicking the ball up to Tommy Elphick. He would then kick it out wide to Matt Richards, who would cross the ball where Clayton Ince would catch it, time waste and kick the ball up to Tommy Elphick. (BM)//Rochdale 4-3 defeat in the first season. Soaked. (DT)//The Prosser Sheffield United game was a shocker (RG)//Rochdale at home, 4-3 defeat in the wind, rain and cold and had a broken wrist, that's another story for another day mind. (BS)//Ipswich when we stayed up; playing the high ball to a 5 ft 2 striker all alone up front; I thought i was going to have a heart attack the tension was so great (RC)//Tricky. Either the game where Hinshelwood scored a spectacular own goal or, and this one probably edges it, the game where Elphick got a second yellow then Hawkins came on and got an immediate red. Horrible. (BR)//Too many to pick one! But if you put a gun to my head Palace, when they got the last min winner. (AR)//Any game when it rained and I was in the South stand. (BB)//When we lost to Stoke 5v1 (I think). Not the worst game of football and made better by being shown on TV HARRANGING Mark McGhee. Oh and Doug Loft scored. Other than that it was shit though. Proper shit. (RM)//The game after Sussex won at Lords. McGhee's last Withdean home game, everyone in the ground hungover, lost 4-0 I think. Shite. (WW)//Too many to mention (AVS)//They all fade into one... Mansfield 1-3 loss in the FA Cup just about wins it. (LZ)//Play-off game v Swindon (SD)//Watching us lose against Southampton and play so badly when we got relegated from the Championship. (SU)//I should say Sheffield United, sorry Phil Prosser 4 Albion 2, but it gets edged out by the very sorry performance against Stoke City and one Adam Rooney. Our "defence" made him look like Wayne Rooney that day. (BI)//This season, Brighton 0-0 Woking, in the cold and the rain. I’d rather have a double hernia than watch that again (BN)//There are a few. Doncaster at home during Wilkins' first season in charge (with the weird retro kit) stands out, as does defeat against 9-man Walsall. 1-1 draw against Luton in the pissing rain. 0-0 against Orient on New Years Day last year. Dread to think how much money I've spent watching some of those. (SM)//Hereford (0-0) bloody boring (SA)//Getting beat 4-0 a coupla seasons ago [the Great Escape] with my son BEGGING us to leave. Can't remember who it was; Hartlepool[s]? (FS)//Losing 4-0 to Crewe in Micky Adams' 2nd spell rates up there for me but there are so many to choose from. (MD)//Boxing Day 2005, QPR, went with my Mum, which was nice, but saw Charlie Oatway's leg break right in front of us, which was horrible. (TH)//The Stoke 5-1 loss... abject. (JTM)//Orient in league cup! (NR)//Oldham 24/10/2009 2:0 Defeat, because we were just plain awful. (TJ)//Millwall defeat Xmas/new year. We lost 2-1 and it was freezing (RO)//Pick any one from Micky's 2nd coming. (JU)//Sheffield United October 2006, sinking to our eleventh straight defeat, then the next game was... well... (NS)//Probably losing to Mansfield in the FA cup while Dean Wilkins was in charge, dire performance but the following 2 seasons at home weren’t exactly anything to write home about (TP)//McGhee, lose, rain (JPH)//One wet Tuesday night when we lost to Lincoln. Awful. (RP)//At the tail end of McGhee's reign we played Crewe & it was like no one cared. The crowd was shit, Performance shit. Only redeeming feature of the day was some guy having a shouting match with old pints a after the match (TMGC)//Stockport. Hawkins. 22.08.09. (CA)//Quite a few to choose from! The Prosser Sheffield Utd game, Palarse with that last minute goal, Wigan hammering us (I missed the first 2 goals queuing to get in!). (NBV)//Jan 1st a few years ago, we lost 1-0 to Southend. I could barely see, partly due to the hangover and partly because we'd bought our seats online and it turned out they were practically in Preston Park bowls club. (BE)//We lost 1-0 to MK dons in the Slade era, was an awful game, no atmosphere and an attendance of around 4000 (CH95)// I'll plump for that Stockport Hawkins cameo, 4-2 to Stockport. (AG)

What was the funniest thing you ever saw at Withers?

Colin Hawkins own goal against Hartlepool. It will forever be part of Albion folklore for the rest of time. A text book diving header if ever there was one. (BM)//Steve McMahon, Blackpool manager, going really red and then getting sent off on a very sunny day (RG)//THAT pitch invasion at the Man City game by our disabled colleagues. (TM)//Standing behind Laurie Sanchez when he was managing someone in the JPT, he had a long trench type coat on, hands in pockets, we were chanting Dirty old man. He turned round and gave us a wave. (SP)//The away fans having to watch from Hove (RC)//Tricky. Either the game where Hinshelwood scored a spectacular own goal or, and this one probably edges it, the game where Elphick got a second yellow then Hawkins came on and got an immediate red. Hilarious. (JO)//The wheelchair pitch invader against City and Russell Slade joining in with the "He's got no hair" song following another pitch invasion after the Stockport game at the end of the 08/09 season when we stayed up. Very amusing. (BR)//Colin Hawkins (BW/BN)//The ring a roses goal celebration a few years back was funny but cringeworthy. The Gary Hart miss in the one of the last games of the season last year (or was it the year before) was pretty funny too but I guess seeing a bloke in a wheelchair invade the pitch after the Man City game tops the list. (PMB)//Nathan Jones being outpaced by a squirrel. Nah, scratch that. The mobility scooter invading the pitch after the Man City game. (BZ)//Watford fan shouting homophobic abuse at us after we'd beaten them only to have no come back when we pointed out that their ex-chairman and most famous fan is Elton John. I thought he was going to explode trying to think of a come back. (AR)//Colin Hawkins's own goal; Mark McCammon dribble the ball into the corner from the half way line despite us losing at the time; Seb Carole come to take a corner vs Palace and scuff it. Admittedly, not THAT funny at the time. (RM)//Colin Hawkins is only narrowly beaten by Andy Petterson falling arse over tit against Gillingham. (WW)//The guy behind me standing up and clapping the linesman every terrible decision. (RO)//Someone walking up to the top row in the south stand with his burger and chips finely balanced only for him to slip arse over tit on the last step and throw the food all over himself (AVS)//Kanu trying to close down our centre backs whilst they just played one-two's between each other. (AJ)//The Swindon fans' faces after the play-off game (SD)//Watching Tommy Mooney's missed penalty and all of us singing ‘Hit the Bar’ (SU)//The big brown envelope against Chesterfield will take some beating. (BT)//Mike Newell getting sent off. (RK)//McGleish went off on crutches last season right in front of the South stand. You could see he was dreading the long trudge off the pitch and the banter between him and the fans was (for once) quite good-natured in this case. (SM)//A team mascot that was about seven feet tall. (TB)//Peter Ward missing a penalty twice in a testimonial and to hear he shot he missed is Peter Ward pissed? (FO)//The catering! (TOW)//Gus calling the fourth official Danny DeVito at the Notts County game a couple of weeks ago. (FS)//My mate's face when he found out he'd won Heroes & Winners but the prize was Groundsman for the Day. (MD)//My 3 year old daughter at Kerry Mayo's testimonial thinking everyone was chanting seagulls because there were lots of birds flying around (TH)//One early season game in the early years, a drunk trying to climb to his seat and falling over everyone and everything. How the stewards let him get away with it I will never know. And then he slept through the entire game (I know because he was snoring right in front of me) (SG)//The brown paper bag being passed over our heads in the South Stand during the Chesterfield game. (N4)// Charlie Oatway. (TJ)//The hole appearing on the pitch in the home game against Hartlepool (RO)//Alan Pardew's face. (JU)//Warren Aspinall's first game. (NS)//Linesman falling over normally do the trick for me, although Gus' not watching penalties routine is also quite entertaining. (TP)//The wheelchair pitch invasion which resulted in the offender being wheeled away by a steward (JPH)//A one legged man get removed by the stewards, took them ages once he removed his false leg and sat on the steps (MI)//Mark McCammon flooring Danny Shittu into the sand pit (MC)//Darren Freeman lifting his shirt on millennium day to wish everyone a Happy New Year (GD)//Wheelchair man vs Citeh in the League Cup. (TMGC)/Stockport. Hawkins. 22.08.09. (CA)//The looks on the Swindon fans faces after we mugged them in the Play Offs. (NBV)//Agdestein, Kaz and the Horse when they were paraded not long after having signed. They looked like they'd walked into the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong clothes. And they couldn't wait to get the hell out again. (BE)//The squirrel running down the wing against Leicester (was it?) was amusing. (SM)//Gordon Greer’s sending off in his first home league game against Rochdale this season (CH95)//Gus standing behind dugout when we get a penalty (TSOP)

If you could take any souvenir from Withdean what would it be and why?

The League One title. (SZ)//Andrew Hawes microphone. Best commentator whilst listening to Seagulls World / Player from overseas. And it'll remind me of Lickergate. (PB)//The clock's pretty tacky, but would look good in my kitchen. (CX)//The little brunette Gully's Girl? Can't tell you why. (HK)//The South Stand. (DT)//My seat. (TM)//A poncho. (RC)//The souvenirs I will take are my memories. (BR)//Corner Flag, it would look great in my garden! (BW)/The chair in front of me. After the kickings I used to give it when we played under Adams, I think it deserves some TLC. (PMB)//A burnt out rocket from Rocketman and a Gully's Girl. (BZ)//Our home record and donate it to Falmer! (AR)//Nathan Jones's haircut, circa 2003. (RM)//Gary Hart. Failing that, the hammer net would look quite good in the back garden. And perhaps Rocketman fancies working for our 6-a-side team. (WW)//Some rain, because we're going to forget what it feels like and it'll make us appreciate the Amex even more. (RO)//That crap clock in the corner (AVS)//One of the dug outs so that I can put it at where my football club plays our home games so that our kids stay dry! (SU)//Tony blooms wallet (BN)//Gus? (SM)//A photo to remind me how bad it was. (TB)//The League 1 Championship trophy... should look cracking in the new cabinet at Falmer. (ABS)//The turnstile; I'd use it as a gauge for abdominal girth. All the time I can squeeze through. (FS)//Maybe a recording of the gentle murmur of the North Stand to help me get to sleep at night. (MD)//Rocketman. (LB)//The hammer pit (TH)//The roof... Oh wait! (RS)//A tree (SCS)//A piece of turf to go alongside my piece from the Goldstone (long since amalgamated into the lawn but I know where I planted it!) (SG)//A piece of the hammer net, because the first time I heard the ‘we've got a hammer net’ song I cried laughing! (AM)//The shot-put net. Not sure why, think it would make a wonderful conversation piece at BBQ's. (N4)//Picture of the view from the away end (NR)//The water jump - I was splashing around in it with the players after the div3 championship trophy presentation. All good grounds should have one (RO)//The long jump pit so the kids can have their own beach in the back garden. (JU)//Take the spot at which Bobby hit the first time volley vs. Halifax Town. (NS)//I’m not sure I would take something, it's not quite the same as the Goldstone, but still I will miss the place in a strange way. (TP)//One of the dugouts as I'm too cheap to fork out on a new sofa for the lounge (JPH)//One of Gully’s girls, one over 16 obviously. (MI)//One of the loudspeakers because many times you could hardly hear what anyone was saying. (RP)//A bag full of long jump pit sand? (TMGC)//One of Gully's Girls. I'll give her back in August. (BE)//A football, they're expensive, like (LI)//The penalty spot. Just because. (TSOP)

SiNZ (SZ)/Phil Beeney (PB)/Gus pooyet (GP)/Coxy (CX)/hans kraay fan club (HK)/Brett Mendoza (BM)/Dan Tester (DT)/Regency Gull (RG)/Tony Meolas Loan Spell (TM)/Superphil (SP)/Braders (BS)/Robbie c (RC)/Johnny (JO)/Brian Riggs (BR)/Blue and White Tiger (BW)/Ponce Mohammed Buzzer (PMB)/Baz (BZ)/Arthur (AR)/Bognor Bystander (BB)/Rich Morris (RM)/Withdean Wanderer (WW)/Robbie (RE)/Art Vs Science (AVS)/Loz (LZ)/Padders (PS)/johnnyboy (JB)/Stefan Swifts Love Child (SSLC)/Alex Jones (AJ)/BensGrandad (BG)/sams dad (SD)/Trevor (TR)/Supaseagull (SU)/Bigtomfu (BT)/bnfrnkln (BN)/Rob K (RK)/Marc Gorry (MG)/Simon Morgan (SM)/Tory Boy (TB)/Another Berkshire Seagull (ABS)/sam (SA)/Foaty (FY)/Tim Over Whelmed (TOW)/fire&skill (FS)/Midfield Diamond (MD)/Lord Bracknell (LB)/thisistips (TH)/Redseagull (RS)/ SULLY COULDNT SHOOT (SCS)/Severnside Gull (SG)/amahwrang (AM)/Drew (DR)/No Response (NR)/Jam The Man (JTM)/nickols4 (N4)/theJackal (TJ)/Rosm (RO)/Julian (JU)/Newman-seagulls (NS)/Mutley (MU)/Toby Pugh (TP)/JPH (JPH)/Midland (MI)/Maski1 (ML)/MC (MC)/golddene (GD)/Early (EA)/Rockypaul (RP)/tonymgc (TMGC)/Carter (CA)/Nobby's Betamax Video NBV)/Limpar (LI)//TheDonkeyCentreHalf (TDCH)/Ben Rawlings (BE)/Limpar (LI)/Sam (SM)/chazhop95 (CH95)/Ziggy (ZY)/ Agent G (AG)//The Sock of Poskett (TSOP)

THAT MURRAY ARTICLE

2011-05-25T09:36:00.003+01:00

Here's a little piece we did for the Palace fanzine, Five Year Plan, regarding our new pantomime villain.

At the climax of the previous season, our manager Gus Poyet told the post-match hacks that our extremely popular Basque heart-throb and sometime full-back , Inigo Calderon, had turned down our offer of a contract and was to sign for Southampton.

We were distraught, we thought he loved the club that had rescued him from a trial at Gillingham and turned him into a local hero – he was to be the focal point of flair on which we’d build a new team around for the next campaign, but suddenly he was off, chasing the peseta at St. Marys.

In a twist of fate, the Saints thing fell through, and tale between his heart-melting Iberian legs, he was back and much to our delight we stormed the league.

Fast forward a year and the impending departure of our leading goalscorer, Glenn Murray, has provoked an equally emotive response from fans, though this time it’s spiked with anger and resentment. By all means Glenn, get lost, but come on, not to Palace.

Allow me to introduce you to our number 17. Firstly, he’s a wonderful striker, netting 53 times in 118 injury-hit appearances for us since January 2008. Adept at both leading the line by himself or playing with a partner, his perceived lethargy is off set by a sweet touch, strength on the ball and positional play certainly suited for a higher standard than the English Third Division. Murray can glide with ease between scrappy 6-yard box scrambles and our trademark tippy-tappy possession play we’ve built a reputation for. He can score from corners, he can score from 25 yards, he can score with his head, hell, he’s one of the best defenders at the club and proved himself invaluable at the other end of the pitch when required.

So what’s the problem, right? This guy has it all.

Well, to put it diplomatically, ‘Super’ Glenn has not exactly endeared himself to the fans. In the 3 and a bit years we’ve had him he’s put in two transfer requests, with some perhaps questioning his attitude on the pitch during darker times. Under the wrong manager he’s a little troublesome (Only Gus has really got the best out of him and even now he doesn’t want to stay) and he’s struggled with injury a lot until this last Championship winning season.

His disinterested, vague and monotone interviews with the press coupled with his hermit-like existence within the team have ensured a steady flow of unflattering rumours surrounding his personal life. Many fans speak of his desire to move back up north and let’s face it, if he doesn’t like Sussex, what’s he going to make of Crodyon!

The guy is also high-maintenance; Occasionally petulant on the pitch when things don’t go his way, he is apparently introverted to a level that doesn’t sit easy with the stronger personalities in the dressing room. His shyness was perhaps his downfall at a club where we expect passionate performances on the pitch plus a strong engagement with fans of it.

What really rubs us up the wrong way with Murray though is his miscalculated decision making on advice from his evidently vindictive agent. To go to press with his desire to leave the club midway through a contract has always left a bitter taste in the mouth, but for him to leak the Palace story to the media the day after we’ve won the league is an incitement to riot. Talk about raining on our parade, Murray squatted down and had a red and blue shit on it!

There was always a good chance that Murray would opt to follow the money at the end of his contract. Whilst happy if he stayed, he’s certainly not irreplaceable. Unproven at Championship level, his lack of pace may raise a few eyebrows come August, and our faith in Poyet means that if he’s not worth 10 grand a week, he’s really not worth 10 grand a week.

What really sticks is the P word though. Millwall? Ok. Southampton? Whatever. Derby? Meh. Palace? You’re effing kidding me? Losing our top scorer on the back of a Championship to a struggling club in the same division is tough enough, for the motives to be driven by money, disappointing, to our bitterest of rivals, rage inducing.

Don’t be fooled into thinking Murray is anything less than a mercenary, and if you don’t work that out for yourselves now, we’ll certainly remind you from the Arthur Waite stand in a few months time.

Oh well, good luck to the lad … Now where did I put that pigs head?

COMPETITION - WIN A NORTH STAND SCARF

2011-05-23T22:51:00.001+01:00

Our friends from the North Stand Kollektive ultras group have been busy knitting some attractive scarves to adorn you ruffians next season.

At £10 each they're a bargain actually. Featuring the old logo, the right shade of blue, and no stupid slogans, these garments are a must have for any North Stander next season (also useful for covering your face if you sing that awful Spandeau Ballet song).

We have been given one of these scarves to give away to a lucky TSLRite.

All you have to do is email us with the answer to this simple question;

The 'L' in TSLR stands for what?

a) Lesbians

b) Love

c) Lancing

Drop us an email at tslr@hotmail.co.uk, a winner will be picked at random from correct answers next Sunday the 29th May.

Best of luck!

NB: If you wish to purchase a scarf - and they're very limited edition - drop a PM to Tomysupercup on NSC or find them on twitter @nskbha

BRIGHTON 'TIL I DIE

2011-05-17T15:45:00.000+01:00

The pre-season break is not just about sitting in your underpants infront of NorthStandChat, or endlessly tweeting Michael Owen's official account.

You should get out in the sun and take in the city's famed arts and culture scene - and yes, that means doing more than just seeing The Hangover Part 2 at the Odeon you philistine.

To make things easier for Albion fans with a penchant for theatre, Brighton 'Til I Die - the legendary play about the highs and oh-so-lows of following BHA - is coming back for a short stint at the Theatre Royal in July.

Tickets are available by clicking HERE, but don't be slack; The show is only on for 2 nights to celebrate the beginning of our exciting new era, this may be your only chance to see it!

THE GLUE FACTORY AWAITS

2011-05-06T08:30:00.008+01:00

When news filtered through this morning that the horsefaced Fran Sandaza would not be retained for our Championship winning season next year, there has been nothing but tears here at TSLR Towers. Whilst it was no real surprise that Gus has sent the horse to the Pritt Stick factory, it had us upset as to who can be our cult player who doesn't particularly look like a footballer. In the first two years of this fanzine, that title was clearly one to be held by Colin Hawkins. This season, it's clearly been Fran Sandaza. Both footballers have provided us with excellent prose over the years and, for that, I thank them both for their kindness.

So, as the curtain draws on TSLR's second favourite player ever, what better thing to do than use these two pictures again of the two cracking occasions where we got to meet our heroes? The only question left is, who will be our third hero? Gus, if you are reading (which you definitely are not), then please have an extended summer scouting session to South America for someone of the Hawk/Horse ilk. And preferably, if they could relate to another animal, that would be great. Oh, and one other thing. The club were unsure as to which was Michael Poke and which was the League One trophy so they kept both.

EL CRAPICO

2011-05-04T10:41:00.002+01:00

OK, one game to go but all eyes on next season. The fixtures for our Championship return will be published on the 17th of June, a Friday, and a couple of games will have Albionites throthing at the mouth in a way that will make that Southampton game seem like a friendly with Bognor.

In line with recent footballing folklore, we are going to promote the Albion Palace games as El Crapico as they share many characteristics with the over-hyped Real versus Barca clashes.

Well, sort of ...

Our mission is to get El Crapico as a front page splash across the The Argus, Gus to have a Mourinho-esque breakdown infront of the South Today cameras, and Adam el Abd to throw the sort of moves he showed us at Hillsborough earlier in the season when taking that blow to the tummy/face from Neil Mellor.

"GAVIN HOYTE, HE WAS SHOCKING"

2011-05-03T18:04:00.002+01:00

Like the filthy media whores we seem to have now become, we appeared on the Albion Roar radio show on Saturday. As such, you can download the podcast from the Albion Roar radio show website here now. Of course, the best line I came out with is the title of this very post. As far as the end of season party goes, it was the worst of our three annual events we've held. I blame this on two things - the fact there has been party fatigue ever since the drunken excess that was Walsall away but, mainly, because we didn't advertise well enough or invite people. Thanks to all those that submitted an appearance. Hilariously, we probably get more articles sent in each month.

THE ROYAL WEDDING

2011-04-29T11:00:00.007+01:00

Fed up with the television peddling hours of Royal wedding coverage like a man dressed as a seagull peddling Ketamine out the back of Withdean? Then why not rejoice and read TSLR finally making it to the glossy pages of a magazine.

And here's our bit:

Plus a Ketamined Gully:

And the final page of the feature which used a the Murray Hand cover (TSLR028) alongside the column on how to produce your own fanzine. Are they trying to tell us something?

Having read (well looked at the piccies of titties) the rest of Loaded, I think we could teach them a thing or two.

TSLR END OF SEASON PARTY (TSLR031)

2011-04-28T11:03:00.000+01:00

As per last year, and the year before, The Seagull Love Review will be holding an End Of Season Party to celebrate the end of another football year, we have assigned the catalogue number TSLR031 to this event.

Like Pagans welcoming the winter solstice, us football fans know that the next 3 months will be dark and cold as we cross off the dates ahead of the holy fixtures day.

This year though you should all be suitably content, what with one of the most succesfull and enjoyable terms in our history in the bank, plus that spaceship thing round the back of Moulscoomb that is going to personally beam you up to better worlds come August.

Sign off 2010/11 by honouring us with your presence after the Huddersfield Town match at The Hanover public house, Queen's Park Road, Brighton from about 7 or 8 in the evening until the early hours.

Everyone is welcome, but please try and keep your colours subtle and your language clean. Strictly over 18s only. No knobheads.

STOP HORSING AROUND

2011-04-27T12:27:00.004+01:00

I haven't blogged for awhile simply because I have been awaiting this image of epic goodness that landed in the TSLR inbox today. It's from the club's open day at Withers last week for the kids and it was well attended by all accounts. Getting a snap of our favourite striker sends shivers of excitement down the spine. This is almost as good as when one TSLRite captured Colin Hawkins away at Aston Villa last season.

Should Fran Sandaza not feature in the Albion squad next season (and there's a chance he might not), then at least we will be able to cherish the moment San Francisco held aloft a copy of TSLR029. Sources claim that the glorious Horse attempted to pose for this shot whilst holding TSLR in a landscape format. For that, the Oldham goal, the hilarious horse song, and his constant frustration on being sat on the bench - Fran Sandaza, we salute you.

TSLR INTERVIEW

2011-04-26T12:01:00.001+01:00

A few months ago an Orient fan who was watching the O's at Withdean picked up a copy of TSLR. He liked it a lot, and as he was a writer decided to do a piece about the new breed of football fanzines for Loaded Magazine.

In keeping with the magazine's brand values, the writer decided to fill the pages with the biggest pair of tits he could find, so was quick to get on the phone to us two Co-editors at TSLR HQ.

The original interview is below, you may find it of mild interest, and the feature has been published this month and we'll stick some scans up on here later.

Loaded : When did you start your zine? Why? (give me a potted history of how and why it came to be...)

TSLR : A load of things all came together in the summer of 2008; firstly the pair of us are best friends and have been since we were 7 or so, we’re also massive Albion fans and journalism graduates in our mid-twenties so we had the time to do it. If you’re into football and writing then you should be into fanzines, and we certainly were. Albion are lucky to have a rich fanzine heritage but nothing had been produced for about a decade, so over a pint in a backstreet pub in Manchester (TSLR is co-edited between Manchester and London, not Brighton) we decided to take the plunge. People thought we wouldn’t last but we’re still here 3 years later, it’s extremely hard work and we’re indebted to our contributors, but we have a lot of fun doing it regardless of the effort. It’s a special time for the fans at the moment, there’s a lot of love about, so it’s great to be part of that.

Loaded : Wasn't the internet supposed to kill off paper zines by now? Why do you think they've survived? What do you think they offer that, say, forums/blogs don't?

TSLR : The internet was a major factor, but so were a load of other things – football changed so much in the early to mid 90s, the hooligan thing died, terraces were knocked down, football grounds weren’t so angry and intimidating anymore and alternative football writing was in the broadsheets and glossy magazines. Fanzines were often the only alternative news outlet for fans, the internet killed that aspect because you didn’t need to wait until Saturday to hear the news the local rag or ceefax weren’t going to run, you’d just log on to your forum and bosh, it’s all there.

The ones that survived, and there’s not many, are now 20 plus years old, so it’s ingrained in the fan culture of their club. Engaging with people who remember fanzines and used to buy them is not that difficult, but try and flog one to an 18 year old with an iPhone and they look at you like you’re trying to sell them knocked-off porn DVDs.

Fanzines were once the norm but with us some people ask why we bother, what’s the need for a fanzine? etc, but if they don’t get it then so-be-it. Sometimes when people see things that are different they stay away from them, they’re happy with their News of the World football supplement, our biggest challenge has been getting people to give it a try.

We’re new though, we do things differently. We embrace the DIY ethos of fanzines, but we do TSLR on Macs using Adobe InDesign, everything is emailed, it’s digitally printed and we nick pictures from Google. We have traditional elements, but we also have contemporary parts too, more akin to an actual magazine, like an off-beat version of the official programme. Design is important to us, we have an in-house artist who does our covers, Brighton’s a deeply creative town and that should be reflected.

Loaded : If you sell outside your club on matchday, how many people normally purchase one? What is the average buyer of your zine like? (age, sex, etc)

TSLR : A real mix. You get the fans who remember our contemporaries and support the role of a fanzine, you get some younger people who are more inclined to try something different and then you get the people inbetween who are willing to pay a measly pound for a bit of reading on their way home from the game or to leave in their khazi at home. Our contributors are different ages so we hope there’s appeal across the board, the syntax is pretty easy to get your head round and even our parents know what LOL means these days. The only thing that gets us is that kids in their mid-teens don’t seem that interested, they’re the future of the club so we need to try harder with them. We were going to make some badges that said GULLY SOLD ME KET to wean them in but the club might ban us if we portray the mascot as a dealer.

Loaded : Has your club ever being involved in any campaigns/influenced the politics of your club? If so, what is that?

TSLR : We’ll promote anti-homophobic things, and the club seem to be on the ball with that too, some of the fans seem less bothered but we feel we should raise awareness so we’ve worked with people like the Justin Campaign in the past.

Loaded : Have you ever had any contact with the club? What do they make of your zine? Do they approve or not? Have any players encountered it?

TSLR : We have had contact yes, of course, and they let us get on with it without hindrance and we appreciate that. Our club was saved by the fans in the mid-90s and the fanzines were a huge part of communicating what was happening, absolutely huge. An ex-editor of a fanzine in the 90s is the clubs press officer now so there’s a mutual respect there, he has helped us out a few times so that’s good. In one respect it’s nice working with the club, but our independence is more important, we have to be impartial otherwise what’s the point?

Loaded : Do you think physical football zines will exist in another five years? What do you think your zine will look like?

TSLR : Absolutely, print media isn’t dead, that’s a fallacy, but editors of fanzines need to be smart and produce a good mag. We are moving with the times too, selling fanzines at the ground is still top priority but we have a blog and twitter that are proving popular and next season you’ll be able to get TSLR on your Kindle or iPhone. Our sales have grown steadily since our inception so there’s an appetite that’s for sure, next year we will triple our home crowds with our new stadium and god knows where we’ll be in 5 years. The digital stuff is interesting but it’s in support of the fanzine, not in place of it. Blogs are easy to set up, everyone has one, but you try publishing a magazine, not easy but a hundred times more fun.

I would like to think other clubs will start publishing new fanzines, I’d like to see younger guys get involved and there’s certainly a trend for fanzines in music and art again so why not football? Just last month there were 2 new high quality football magazines launched, the market is there so this impetus will hopefully trickle down to club level and we’ll have a second fanzine boom.

We have evolved TSLR over 3 years in terms of how it looks, but it’s always been A5 size and black and white. If we went full colour and glossy then I think some of the magic is lost, then we look like the official programme and that’s the last thing we want. We’re toying with a colour cover though now, that’s a big decision for us to make which sounds stupid but fanzines are scruffy little buggers, Tatler it aint, we have some soul searching to do that’s for sure!

Loaded : Do you have contacted with other editors of zines? What are said relationships like?

TSLR : Not so much, no. We had the editor of the Palace fanzine guest edit one edition – we called it The Seaweed Love Review (Palace’s derogatory name for us) and the issue was themed around our spiteful, but wonderful rivalry. There used to be an annual fanzine awards but that’s gone kaput and it wasn’t particularly well organised or interesting to be fair. We love fanzines though and always buy them when we see them, we hope that works vice versa too but communications are minimal. There’ still some sort of collective spirit there though, we interviewed a bloke from Plymouth Argyle’s fanzine the other day to get the inside story on their recent troubles at Home Park. We’re a club that was reliant on other club’s fans when we were in trouble so when we can help others we will.

Loaded : What is it that still makes you do it? Respect by the way!

TSLR :When somebody you’ve never met sends you an article which they have put time and effort into just because they love the Albion and have something to say then you’re obliged to keep it going. Equally, when you get a compliment from people, that’s nice too, you feel like you’re doing something useful and adding a bit of colour to our fan culture. Deep down though we just love fanzines, there’s no better feeling than getting the fresh ones from the printers, it’s nerdy but hey, we’re fanzine people and TSLR is ace, we’re very proud of it, typos and all!

Loaded : What's your favourite football zine now/ever? Why?

Some fanzines are really boring, that’s the truth, so we like ones with some bollocks. Albion’s longest running publication was Gulls Eye, they had everything; news, humour, great cartoons, but mainly they were brave. They were sued by the football club, they helped get the rats out of the boardroom and the fans relied on the stories they published in our darkest days so big respect to them. Scars and Stripes took fanzines to the next level with colour and superior page design in the late 90s, so that was interesting too. I should also mention people like Junior Boys Own who have just had a retrospective printed, we wish we were that ‘acid house’, and also – through gritted teeth – Palace’s Eagle Eye from the 80s had some classic fanzine design.

DROP THE HATE

2011-04-18T09:41:00.000+01:00

Nigel Adkins eh? The man has a tone that some may find a little hard to swallow, and perhaps his ease in front of the cameras gives him an aura of arrogance, but it's time for everyone to drop to the hate.

At a time in the club's history when all Albion fans should be walking wth a spring in their step, happily taking the plaudits from our non-Albion friends and enjoying the wide-spread media coverage that has enveloped Withdean and the Becsot Stadium in the last few weeks, a fair few have been sitting in the corner frothing at the mouth about another club some 55 miles down the coast.

It's natural to have a bit of a snipe at your closest rivals when chasing the title, but really, concentrate that negative energy on Palace or something, or even better just drop it. There's no need to think about any other clubs except those we're going to visit next season. Gloating is a characteristic we have always frowned upon when seen from other clubs. That should be no different in our case, regardless of any previous contempt and no matter how provocative it's intent ... and yeah, that does include THIS.

BRIGHTON AND FOOD ALBION

2011-04-14T10:31:00.013+01:00

When I picked up my promotion Argus yesterday morning, I stumbled across the letters page and could only laugh hysterically at the Hove residents crying about how it had been a Brighton Marathon on Sunday rather than a Brighton and Hove Marathon. So here at TSLR Towers, we thought why not do away with Hove altogether? It is a bit rubbish compared to its outlandishly cool neighbour so we've replaced the word 'Hove' with 'Food' and it means we can write a loosely Albion themed blog of drivel that can only roll up in your back pocket if you print it off. And I wouldn't bother doing that if I were you.

Like our gardening column a few weeks back, here is our all time Albion line-up complete with ridiculously poor food product based puns. We have used as many of the current crop as possible - seeing as they are fast becoming total bloody legends.

1. Peter Breadovan - our second choice keeper is more of a Granary bloke than a Mighty White. Although, his performance at Stoke suggests he went a bit stale having been on the side this season.

2. Mauricio Taco - one of the finest assistant managers to ever grace an Albion full-back position. Comes with a wonderful chile (or should that be Argentina) and option of cheese, sour cream, guacamole and salad.

3. Kerry Mayo - this ginger haired mayonnaise goes with almost anything on our Albion menu. Particularly good when added to Mauricio Taco.

4. Radostin Quicheishev - the inspiration for this entire elongated blog ramble. The Radostin quiche is less of a Lorraine and more of an animal. Contains tomato as it is so red in complexion.

5. Steve Cook - how on earth would we eat all these player inspired dishes if we didn't have someone to play the role of TSLR chef?

6. Therry Bacon - the on-loan Charlton player impressed during his spell at the club but has really got nothing on earning his bacon in the Danish style of Casper Ankergren.

7. Liam Brid(lamb)cutlet - bit of a poor one this, but the cutlet part of a lamb is gorgeous, just like Liam's wonderstrikes this season. The lamb reference is down to the fact he's only a baby.

8. Gary 'Spotted' Dicker - what better way to supplement a meal than with a classic pudding known as the 'Irish Zidane' spotted dick?

9. Francisco Sandwichaza - why not use Peter Breadovan for your sandwich. With a filling of horsemeat and horseradish sauce obviously.

10. Sebastian Ca(sse)role - the word casserole comes for the French word for saucepan. This one is perfect when filled with lamb or horsemeat but struggles to cross the dining room floor to the table.

11. Paul McDonald(s) - the only burger that beats the stomach once but forces regurgitatation if only to attempt beating it again despite usually ending in failure. Found in Scotland, but is so small sometimes goes unnoticed.

So that's it - we're playing the orthodox 3-6-1 formation and of course they'd be managed by Russell Salad with Darren Currie, Colin P(l)ates and Zeke Rowe sitting on the bench. Until our next Albion XI loosely themed ramblings, thank you, and goodnight. I'm off to lunch.

NOW THIS IS DREAMY

2011-04-13T20:17:00.006+01:00

Sometime over this season, I suggested that we were in dreamland watching this team. Now, it feels like I was premature. This, here, is DREAMLAND.

To be honest, I've been trying to write a blog about last night all day but every time I tried to do so, the words of Gus Poyet on BBC Sussex this morning kept making my inept words barely worth writing. Plus, I kept wanting to cry.

Much of today has been spent lamenting a Sky Sports journalist (and possible Palace fan) for his cock and bull story about super Glenn heading off to the scum. That story, of course, temporarily disappeared from the Sky Sports website because it was lies but is now back online. The only people who came out of it badly were Murray's agent and Sky Sports - those who rule the elite we're trying to emulate. Thanks to the awesome wearebrighton and their South London Press spot, we're happily contented again.

But that's enough about dickheads, the feelings we here at TSLR Towers have experienced over the last 24 or so hours are like nothing before. Sure, we have won titles before - and some even at Withers - but none to the high standards set this season. Really, it's indescribable. So I won't bother.

Last night had everything - early disappointment followed by first half elation. At half time it was over, despite the fact that lowly Daggers out-passed us (and that hasn't happened a lot this season). We resorted to hoofing it, and without the horse on the pitch. When Daggers went ahead in the second half, I fell silent for the longest period of the season (I'm a chatty little fuck you see) but then up stepped Bridders and his fitting strike that brought us back into the match was a moment to savour. Forever.

The Ashley Barnes Danny Cullip-like header shortly thereafter had us delighting once more and, coupled with Southampton's almighty cock-up as they fell victim to a Rochdale season double, the night was almost complete. Well, apart from that nerve racking 20 minutes that included a stupendous Ankergren free kick save and far more stresses besides. And let us not forget that jovial pitch invasion with Gully's Girls and another famous wheelchair pitch invader (was it the one from Manchester City?). Plus the surprise re-emergence of the team when all thought the lap of honour was lost forever.

And so we head to Walsall where we will be holding several cardboard/foil replica League trophies happily aloft. If we do it then, then Withdreams number 9 from the latest issue (TSLR029.030) may in fact come true (even if Sandaza isn't actually planning to sport a horses head mask).

Waking up in Brighton despite being expected at work in London was another amusing element but that couldn't detract from how it has been a wonderful day (despite the Independent newspaper not even reporting the fact that only one team has been promoted in the league this season). I have smiled at everyone - from those I hold in disdain at work to beautiful women I would have smiled at anyway. All in the office happily convinced me to do their work; everyone congratulated me (well, I did play well last night) and many just pondered how nice I had become thanks to the culmination of eight months of stress.

All that's left to say is, Gus - you have truly made me the happiest man alive and, for that, I salute you. The only disappointment we learned from one of Poyet's countless interviews today - was that he and the players were in Brighton town last night - and we didn't bump into them. Gutted.

I'm writing this drunk - I've been drunk since post match last night, and I plan to be drunk until at least next Monday morning. Or as long as it takes to land the title.

Plus news spread to TSLR HQ that Palace have only sold around 2,400 season tickets for next year. Glenn (or sorry, Mr Murray's agent) you should learn from the mistakes of Alex Revell, Dean Hammond and countless others. You should stay at a big club. And for once, we actually are a big club.

That was quite a long post. Sorry, but I just love you all and want you all to know everything I'm feeling. Tweet us if you want to hear more emotionally charged bullshit from your favourite (and only) Albion fanzine.

POPPING FOR A (P)

2011-04-12T09:48:00.000+01:00

We kind of knew it would come, but it seems that this promotion game tonight has popped up from nowhere.

Isn't it great that all those game cancellations in the winter have actually worked in our favour. Who would've thought that the initimidating March fixture list would bear fruit to the weightiest points-haul in our history.

As Albion fans we have the right to be worried about consistent form, we should be allowed to carry an extreme prejudice that at any time we will mess it up, but this season it's all a bit different.

Tempting fate is not a phrase oft muttered in the cynical corrdiors of TSLR headquarters, but that might be because we've never had any fate of worth to talk about. Tonights game against Dagenham and Redbridge does not scare us though, nail-biting cold sweat fear has given way to a mild anxiety this season, a feeling of butterflies in the stomach that is easily quashed with a pint and quick read of the scathing match reports from yesterdays Sheffield Star.

Time to chill out Albionites and let the good times roll!

TSLR029 & TSLR030 OUT TOMORROW

2011-04-08T15:24:00.001+01:00

Phew, another season done and a we're looking forward to a rest from the fanzine.

The final edition of the season, TSLR029, is released tomorrow at Withdean or online by following the PayPal link to your left.

Of course, this is the final fanzine of the Withdan era as well so we've saved up enough pennies to bring out a Withdean souvenir supplement, TSLR030, which you'll receive free if you buy the normal mag.

It's a quite wonderful little retrospective of the Theatre of Trees and we hope you keep it as a reminder of our entertaining years at Withers. It will certainly have less bollocks in it than an interview with Leon Knight and probably more interesting than a vox-pop with Peter Taylor!

As another sort-of bonus, the main fanzine is a full 36 pages this month, a record for us and 8 more than the usual publication.

Inside you'll find;

- Adam el Abd Inteview (TSLR Player of the Season)

- End of Season Fan Survey (7 pages of Albion LOLS, thanks to all those that took part)
- Interview with Build A Bonfire co-author Steve North
- Record breaking month Reviews and soon-to-be celebratory month Previews
- Usual contributions from Withdreams, What's Hot What's Not, Flairwatch, Midfield Diamond, Marco van Bastard, Mike Sword and Carter plus a rare outing from the wonderful Meade's Ball.

It's a bumper issue and will certainly sell out quick so grab a copy while you can!

Still only £1.

ONE TOO MANY

2011-04-08T13:55:00.002+01:00

Now here at TSLR, we are always discussing how good watching St Pauli of the German (soon to be) Bundesliga 2 is. They get to stand up, drink beer, smoke, have a laugh, sing a few songs and generally make us so welcome, there's no hiding from the feeling we should have lost the war. So you can picture our disappointment when their game with Schalke got called off with two minutes to go at the Millerntor when a fan launched his plastic beer cup at an unsuspecting linesman. That sort of behaviour is the kind that will get the authorities suggesting St Pauli have safe standing zones (like they do in Austria) and no more beer in view of the pitch.

Admittedly, the linesman goes down far too easily. And what better punishment for the home side than allowing them to play out another home defeat? Seriously though, you've got it so good why mess it up? To encourage the government to allow safe standing in this country, why not sign up to the Football Supporters' Federation petition here. And if you're not sure about the safety aspect of it, I can assure you that celebrating on seats is much more dangerous. I put my back out for a week landing on a seat at Oldham. It was worth it though.

**Update** The sausage train will be cancelled and the fans locked out.

KING CANTONA

2011-04-07T08:40:00.002+01:00

In the midst of compiling a new issue we tend to avoid blogging. But, despite putting together the last TSLR of the season - TSLR029 and TSLR030 - we just had to log on this morning after an article caught our eye. This story here is one that Albion dreams are made of. Right then, enjoy reading - I'm off to compile the hideously large amount of fans' questionnaires that have been pouring in. Thanks, but next time I hope we're not so damn popular. And Eric, cheers to you too.

LAST CHANCE ALBION FANS

2011-04-05T17:33:00.000+01:00

A heads up to remind you that you don't have long to take part in our end of season survey.

Click HERE to do your thing.

The best responses get in the final fanzine of the season released next Saturday.

THANK THE LORD FOR MR BLOOM

2011-04-05T17:14:00.004+01:00

Another season passes and another financial hammering for Football League clubs gets dished out. It seems as if the Premiership doesn't care about clubs standing further down the ladder and, guess what, they don't. I have just been pointed in the direction of this Guardian article published online last night in which we learned of the Football League's £23m reduction in revenue when selling the TV rights collectively for the 2012-13 season.

Let us look at this in context - we're talking about a UK Football League deal for that season of £65m spread between 72 football clubs. Even evenly split between all those teams, clubs can only expect to see £900k each. And that's before the Championship clubs take a bigger slice than the rest. The Premiership, meanwhile, will pay over £500m to 20 top flight clubs in the same season. That even split is £25m per club, which is very rosy for them.

We may be heading in the right direction down at the Albion (in terms of the money at least) but we must remember how low we once sank, and how easy it could be to sink again. Unfortunately, those at the top end have been at the top end throughout the money-centric era. It seems they have lost all sense of what it's like to be lowly and downright broke.

Thank goodness we have Tony Bloom.

IT'S QUESTIONNAIRE TIME

2011-04-04T14:41:00.007+01:00

I had to include our match report from the Times today for its excellent reference to our new stadium - the APEX STADIUM - at the top of the second column. It got us worried - have American Express pulled the plug on their sponsorship? Who are Apex and why are they sponsoring our new ground? Answers on a postcard please.

Talking of answers, our TSLR 2011/12 online fan survey has emerged here so why not take a couple of minutes out of your life to fill it in. We have already had a magical response from those that follow us on Twitter so make sure your answers are to a high standard and you (or your pseudonym) may get published in the last issue of this glorious season - TSLR029 - out at home to Sheffield Wednesday this coming Saturday.

Flat cap day wasn't quite the disaster that 'Sort it Out Chas' day had been at Oldham some two weeks previously. The five or so who took part in the wearing of flat caps to mock those from Rochdale had a wonderful time. Thanks to those that joined in.

WHEN A HERO COMES ALONG

2011-04-01T10:22:00.024+01:00

Sometimes, as Gabrielle once said, you have to search for the hero inside yourself.

Last night, that's exactly what I did as my work 5-a-side Thursday night Paddington League picked up our runners-up medals and trophy. We may not have won but we looked inside ourselves and felt like heroes. It was better looking inside our jackets when we got home - having stolen a number of spare winning medals.

Of course, to search for the hero in this Albion team, you do not have to go far. As those that follow us on Twitter will know from yesterday, the wonderful History Man on NSC has come up with some staggeringly good statistics which prove that Gus' wonderful team of excellence could well be the best ever. Now we know how close we are to records being broken, we'll probably fuck it up (but then that is the attitude of Albion teams not governed by the charms of Mr Poyet). If we break one of these records TSLR Towers will be rocking, but it would be absolutely marvellous if we go on to smash the 100 point barrier. And as for Casper Ankergren, what a guy. Especially when you consider the cigarettes.

Over at Palarse, they've been looking for just one hero all season. In fact, they've been so shite that the local newspaper (and that morning rag the Metro) yesterday published this story blaming their poor form on their beautifully permatanned cheerleaders. As much as we want the Smellhursters to lose each week, is it wrong to now want the chasing pack from the relegation zone of the Championship to lose as well? It's not exactly supporting the Croydonites, it's simply wanting two games to pass Palace off the park next season and put that 5-0 defeat well and truly to bed.

So that's all for this week. Oh and we fell for that Albion playing in green April fool way back in the February issue of TSLR - inventively titled TSLR027. And on that bombshell, we're all off to stick on a flat cap and get a record breaking win at the Dale of Roch - see you there.

FLAT CAPS AHOY

2011-03-30T10:17:00.004+01:00

Sometimes, as M People once said, dreams can come true.

March has been silly. Eight lower end performances of our remarkable season ended with a record breaking eighth win. Stressful? Yes. Undeserved? At times. But goodness me, it has been worth it. Last night was an extension of that, despite the slowness of the clock for the last half hour. The Murray goal was exquisite, the celebrations wholehearted plus we had the pleasure of seeing Gary Hart and Tommy Fraser (who has the unfortunate combination of ginger hair and a bald patch) in the away end. Add to that another win coupled with an appearance from the ridiculous Nigel Adkins and it made for the perfect night.

Following the massively disappointing turnout of Charlie Oatway themed attire at Oldham the week before last – luckily one TSLRite saved us by cutting out several Glenn Murray hands from the latest issue of TSLR – it seems as if publicising the latest theme should be done. At Rochdale, we will be donning flat caps in what is inventively termed ‘Flat Cap Day’. This classic masterpiece on show at the top of this blog is a prime example of flat caps that should adorn the head at Spotland. Notice the subtle green, yellow, brown and black markings and behold how the colours fade creating a dull shade of grey, entirely attractive to older people. It’s a classic.

SEAGLOLS

2011-03-28T13:03:00.000+01:00

Had a laugh this morning when watching the goals on the BBC website. Obviously I have taken the time to take screen shots and upload them.

The image above shows Craig Noone floored in the box. To the right is Fran Sandaza who had chased after the loose ball, picked it up (with purpose I might add), and is sauntering towards the penalty spot tapping his chest to signal that he was going to take the penalty.

The next shot on the highlights is Gary Dicker tucking the spot kick away.

Poor old Fran.

FRAN'S DEATH PLEDGE

2011-03-24T14:07:00.000Z

We were saddened to read on the offcial website the lengths that Fran Sandaza will go to to get a game at the Albion.

Gus Poyet, when speaking on the strength in depth of his sqaud said "We have players like Fran Sandaza who might only get seven minutes, but are still prepared to die"

Fran, it's not worth it hermano.

While all fans will sleep well in the knowledge that our boys in blue and white will go that extra mile for our third scudetto in 11 glory soaked Withdean years, suicide is just too far.

Seeing Fran cover every blade of patchy grass at Withers over the winter has reminded us of the awful scene in Never Ending Story when the brave stallion Artax succumbs to the mud while serving his Tano doppelganger master.

I'm not sure Withdean could handle similar scenes if it's our own dobbin, Fran, up to his neck in sludge keeping a Ricky Lambert shot out with his nose before sinking below the surface.

MORE THAN 90 MINUTES

2011-03-24T11:31:00.000Z

It's good to see new Albion related websites cropping up, especially when they offer something interesting.

More Than 90 Minutes (HERE) is a blog set up by photographer Stewart Weir who older fans will remember documenting the dark years in the mid to late 90s.

His book, also titled More Than 90 Minutes, is certainly the most beautiful publication to have been printed about the Albion and copies go for serious dosh when they occasionally come up.

Weir also photographed the first 6 years of our Withdean existence, plus the Gillingham days, and these, along with others, are now going to posted on his blog for your perusal.

The image above is a great example of Wier's style; capturing the more gritty essence of the fans rather than the usual player shots you'll be accustomed too via the offcial website. The Albionite draped in flag was taken at Torquay United's Plainmoor ground on the first of January 1997. Albion lost the game 2-1 and were floundering at the bottom of the 4th Division.

A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS TO ADORN AMEX

2011-03-23T14:16:00.000Z

The Seagull Love Review can exclusively reveal that the coloured seats at The Amex will feature the face of Mike Score, lead singer of 1980s synth-pop band A Flock of Seagulls.

A TSLR source explained; "bumbling brand-monkeys KSS looked at the key themes behind the image of the club and were drawn to the seagull idea.

"They had seen the big faces on the stands at Deepdale and Fratton Park and decided that Falmer should not lose out"

The face, which will spread over the full 3 tiers of the West Stand, will feature the famous fringe of the scouse warbler, with a section of the famous do being integrated into the roof.

"We feel this is a progressive move for the club, fans and community" said a faceless KSS mignion. "Brighton Seagulls FC will have world class design not only in the architecure of the stadium but also peering out ominously at scared youths in the Family stand".

APOLOGY: The Seagull Love Review has since been informed that the 'flock of seagulls' design in the stands at The Amex are infact of a traditional nature with white birds on a blue background and will not in anyway replicate a huge portrait of an 80s popstar. TSLR apologises for any confusion caused.

EPIC SCENES

2011-03-23T11:03:00.004Z

I just logged on to the Albion website to check last night's match report (I was a good 200 people late for the Withers Wager win by the way) and stumbled across this unbelievably good screenshot. Have you ever seen such brilliance in a single month? Six wins in March has been amazing and just what we needed with every other team in the chasing pack finally finding some form. And, in fact, we have played poorly by our early season standards in all six victories so far.

Now, last night was great. These days, the excitement of finding out another result has been ruined by that bloke with his iphone telling you Southampton are winning again. But, last night, with SCC leading 1-0, everybody around us gave up pressing refresh and instead we were treated to a tannoy announcement informing us. Just like the good old days when we were shit. The only difference, of course, is that we're listening out for results at the top of the table.

Five more wins for the title...

SORT IT OUT CHAS

2011-03-18T10:10:00.006Z

In the Algarve last summer, and 1-0 up against Sunderland, a hilariously leather skinned Albion expatriate screamed: 'Sort it out, Chas'. It was, we assume, aimed at Charlie Oatway who clearly hadn't got the Albion playing well as we were only beating a top flight team at the time. It inspired us greatly. In fact, you may have heard us shouting it most of this season at bizarrely inopportune times, which is exactly the point.

From the outset of this season therefore, two things were guarenteed. Firstly, that Rochdale away be designated our official flat cap day - and we're not talking these trendy flat caps neither. And second, that Oldham away be designated official 'Sort it out, Chas' day. All season, we've talked about bald wigs, Charlie Oatway t-shirts, and even a Charlie Oatway tracksuit purchased in the Albion charity shop by one TSLRite earlier in the season.

But now, it has come down to the crunch and organisers here at TSLR HQ have done as much as the Football Association did to Archer and Bellotti and is now doing to the idiots down at Plymouth. Basically, as I look high and low around TSLR Towers (all three square metres) there are no bald wigs, no Chas tracksuits, no 'Sort it out, Chas' t-shirts. Not even a Chas quick read miniature book. No Nothing. There's only one thing for it - we'll just have to shout out our favourite Algravian phrase all through the game tomorrow. Some people may even prefer it to the wonderful Elliott Bennett song.

See yer there. And for those arriving earlier than kick-off, head to the Rifle Range for some northern food and drink.

HORSING AROUND ON WIKIPEDIA

2011-03-17T19:35:00.003Z

For those of you out in Internetland who follow us on Twatter, you will already be well aware of the fact that sometimes, however good the day job may be, boredom sets in. On Wednesday, this fate befell my good self and I edited a Wikipedia page for the first time since I suggested Scott McGleish had been arrested for crimes against football. I have previous bad form on this one. Having lost a bet during the World Cup last year that Buckaroo was not a board game, I decided to change the entry to state it was. That edit lasted two minutes. The McGleish one lasted less. Another one I wrote suggested I am the King of London - that lasted 20 seconds and The Seagull Love Review was not considered worthy enough of an entry.

I am pleased to report that, almost two days later, my minimal change to Fran Sandaza's page is still in tact. The key, we must assume, is to avoid swearing. If you have any similar hilarious Wikipedia changes, then drop us a line at tslr@hotmail.co.uk and you never know, you could make it into the paper version of the 'zine.

ST PAULI FEVER

2011-03-17T17:06:00.007Z

Well, since St Pauli beat Hamburg last month, it's all gone off the rails somewhat for our favourite German team and it looks as if we can all look forward to getting back into Budesliga 2 next season. We had more fun at the match when we visited the Reeperbahn in the first season of The Seagull Love Review than we did this season with St Pauli finding themselves in the top division. I know it sounds a little like we're totally obsessed with them but ever since one half of the editing team penned this here article for FourFourTwo, it seems as if St Pauli fever is gripping the nation. When I say nation, I mean the Guardian website which carried the embedded video today.

DAGENHAM AND REDBRIDGE

2011-03-16T13:20:00.003Z

Sometimes, just sometimes, news doesn't filter through very well to TSLR Towers. We recently heard that tickets for the Daggers away game had sold out and panic set in to this little corner of TSLR Towers as we thought about how we didn't purchase any tickets. Before we had chance to log on to the Daggers website and purchase tickets in the home end, we realised what the situation truly was. On the thirteenth day of Christmas (that's Boxing Day, right?) the game in the least desirable part of east London was called off and it meant we had the opportunity to sleep off our roast dinners and alcohol filled stomachs a little longer. I was happy with that decision at the time so I must be happy to take my rearranged ticket to the London Borough of Barking and Dagenham Stadium and watch the Albion make inroads in their quest to claim the title.

Of course the title is not a forgone conclusion - results last night proved that and there are plenty of you out there long enough in the tooth to remember the 1978 debacle as detailed by Scumhampton fans here. Another historical nightmare comes in the form of 1970 when we were top of Division Three with 13 games of the season remaining but ended up in fourth at a time when there wasn't even the consolation of a place in the play-offs.

But, whatever happens to the Albion's title ambitions, it transpires that the ticket I had on Boxing Day is indeed valid for the rearranged fixture and TSLR will be there to witness another game in this incredibly exciting conclusion to a season.

NB - just spoken to the holder of said tickets and they are not sure where the tickets could be. An interesting two weeks of searching beckons...

NBB - not sure if you follow us on Twitter but, if not, check out the fact that Colin Hawkins starred in a winning team here.

TSLR 2.0

2011-03-14T11:28:00.001Z

It's tough keeping up with technological advances. Where once we waxed lyrical about the importance of a specific Albion print publication, the trend now is to have a host of other digital platforms to support the monthly rag.

We have a Facebook page, we have a twitter feed and we have the blog. What we need next is for the fanzine to be hosted on iPhones and Kindles.

You can get the fanzine on a Kindle (see above) but apparently it crashes the thing. The iPhone app is on the horizon too as research shows that the smartphone is now the entertainment du jour when having a poo.

TSLR 2.0 eh? If anybody does want a pdf verison of the mag emailed to them, contact us via electronic mail at tslr@hotmail.co.uk and we'll whizz one over.

Here's some links for you;

Facebook
Twitter

And here's a story about how former striker Dave Cameron is giving something back.

TSLR028...OUT TOMORROW

2011-03-11T15:37:00.005Z

This month's fanzine has finally gone to bed, and by bed we mean the printers. This month it is full of horse rhetoric, Colin Hawkins, a bit about the fact we might win the League and a lot of good quality copy. Sometimes, our fanzines become themed by default, and that has happened this month with Glenn Murray's hand on head celebration making up the bulk of it.

So, for a measly pound you can...

See the glorious Withdreams #8
Marvel at the new What's Hot, What's Not with Mendoza
Keep up with the League of Ireland in extended News in Briefs
Laugh along at the ridiculousness of Mike Sword
Learn how to moan along with Withdean fans
Get all emotional with Marco van Bastard
Enjoy match reviews and previews
Attempt to understand the bizarreness of Plymouth Argyle
Meet a well known Global Seagull
Giggle at the crap they flog on eBay with the Albion on it
Preview the classic brand spanking new King's Speech II
Drive along with Garry Nelson in a Fiat Uno
Graphologise with Carter
And celebrate like Murray

All for a £1. See yer tomorrow...

NEW FOOTBALL MAGAZINES THAT EXCITE US

2011-03-10T10:01:00.001Z

A couple of new football magazines that have got us slathering round the chops like some rabid wild dogs.

Firstly, The Green Soccer Journal (see video above). We're not sure who publishes it but it's printed on heavy matt stock so more appropriate for the coffee table rather than next to TSLR in the bog. Issue one has features on NY Cosmos and Justin Fashanu for example, subject matter unlikely to be found in your NoTW supplement this week. The cover features Clarence Seedorf who stroked the ball around like a god last night against plucky Spurs. This is the real deal, not some Rio Ferdinand funded rubbish. Not sure where to buy this, try Smiths?

Secondly, a quarterly publication from Sunderland, called The Blizzard. Featuring writing from a selection of quality football writers from the broadsheets and other publications of aplomb, The Blizzard comes across as a massive, really well written, generalist fanzine. The promo issue is available to downalod as a PDF from their website HERE with the thoughtful editor tempting you with a pay-what-you-like deal. We suggest you get downloading, but don't be tight on PayPal. Subscriptions are £30 and we get the impression that the sound of this badboy on the doormat will be similar to a hundred angels whispering your name.

In other news, TSLR028 is out on Saturday.

WE'RE THE FAMOUS BRIGHTON HOVE ALBION AND WE'RE SHIT AT PENALTIES

2011-03-09T11:33:00.004Z

What a ridiculous finish this season is shaping up to be. Little more than a month ago, we joked about how easy each game was, how no teams came to Withers and tried to win anymore and, seriously, how dull it is to win match after match so easily and so consistently. Of course, that joke is well and truly missed after the last three games. What are we moaning about I hear you cry - three wins from three, the pretenders to the Division Three throne all dropping points, still top and missing yet more penalties - it surely couldn't be better.

It seems as if, in classic Albion style, the run-in will be a collection of numerous nervy moments that result in bigger celebrations than ever before. Last night was no exception. Pre-match drinks could not detract away from the fact that seven minutes of injury time with a one goal lead is probably the most nervy football can get. Especially when, by that late stage, we had resorted to lumping the ball up front to, er, nobody and watching it come firing straight back at us.

It was a special night though. Whilst many elements of our factual knowledge can be outlandishly questioned, one thing is for certain. Last night was special. The view was shoddy; the singing was immense (Elliott Bennett and Casper Ankergren songs got most of the airplay); the Painter injury was (and still is) a massive concern and the boys played alright. Not amazingly, but they did enough.

Enjoy this feeling as it'll only last until that next nervy one - Saturday at home to Tranmere. Why not stifle your nerves by spending £1 on purchasing a copy of the new issue - TSLR028 (currently in production) - to hide behind.

NB - pre match Fran Sambuca worked a treat. Cake is all but forgotten but, incidentally, tastes better.

BEES, SHES AND COMMON ASSUALT

2011-03-08T13:49:00.002Z

Just a quick post - don't forget the longer one below, but this needs to be said - about a trip to Brentford many moons ago when myself and co-editor were probably about 11 or 12 years old.

My Co-editors mum, who had driven us to the game, took offence to something said by a male fan in our vicinity. I don't know what was said, perhaps it was the sort of moaning we hear today, but such was the tone that said mother promptly hit the unruly Albion fan in the face.

I thought that story apt on International Womens Day and an away fixture at Griffin Park.

And if you were wondering, yes, we lost the game 2-1, Chapman opened the scoring for Albion before we so predcictably capitulated.

BRENTFORD AWAY

2011-03-08T12:56:00.004Z

The disaster game of the season is upon us. I couldn't give you the year (well, I could probably look it up but I simply can't be bothered) but one visit to Griffin Park I remember more clearly than the Carlisle match on Saturday resulted in a 4-0 defeat. Micky Adams was in charge; Adam Virgo gave us a glimpse of his future potential; it was live on ITV Digital and it was bloody freezing. If I'm not mistaken, we went on to win the title that season despite playing like idiots against Brentford away (and possibly at home that year).

Here at TSLR Towers, we're busy beavering away on the penultimate issue of the season, TSLR028 which will be out on Saturday at home to Tranmere Rovers - who have one of the worst nicknames in footballing history. But according to the last issue - TSLR027 (there is still about 17 issues left, available at Griffin tonight) - we haven't won at Brentford since Dean Wilkins scored the winner back in 1995. 1995, of course, represents the year when the TSLR editing duo realised there were serious issues over the future of the Goldstone. Perhaps, with Falmer nearing completion, it's time to shed that 17 year non-winning streak tonight.

As with my opening gambit details are a little hazy, but the pub we will be frequenting tonight is the nice corner boozer of the four. It should be easy to find - it'll be the only one of the four pubs to be housing the people clad in blue and white. We'll be easy to find - our Spanish Ultra will be forcing us (like Indian children) to be ripping up copies of free newspaper into small strips for confetti purposes. Should all else fail, perhaps those 17 final issues of TSLR027 will be joining that newspaper.

IT'S GETTING EMOTIONAL

2011-03-07T10:26:00.004Z

That winner on Saturday was something special. It could be one of those moments that goes down in Withers folklore - that Lee Steele offside winner against Bristol City; Danny Cullip's winner against Cheaterfield; the Virgo header in extra time; and now the Bridcutt belter. What a hit, what a goal, what a moment. There was so much pandemonium in our area of the south stand that keys, phones and self-respect went flying into the air. Luckily I found most things... except the self respect.

I met Liam Bridcutt afterwards (I was unashamedly loitering around the player entrance at the time) and I must say I barely even noticed his WAG or his car. Judging by the other cars in car parking spots for players, I am sure it was a pricey one, as I'm sure was his girlfriend. But what struck me is how young the lad is. He came out of the Withers north stand with a little grin on his face that looked as if he had just found out that he passed his A levels (which he probably couldn't because he's a footballer).

As someone who is just a kid myself, although a slightly older one than Bridders, it made me think how resentful I am of those younger than me. Apart, that is, from Albion players who pop up with special goals in the 94th minute. Is that why so many of you Withdeanites are so miserable? The older you get, the more resentful you are to those younger than you - and that includes the kids wearing the blue and white stripes. However long in the tooth I may be, however knowledgable about football I think I am, there is only one thing that's for sure. Those kids who don the Albion stripes will always be better footballers than I. And you. So the next time you moan about the way we defend on the pitch simply remeber, you're just jealous.

When I approached Bridders to shake his glorious hand on Saturday, a woman who obviously stalked him more often than I asked him for a kiss. Liam gave her one but laughed off my request. It seems I'll have to loiter outside Withers more often for a smooch. Up the stripes and see you in London tomorrow.

HAMBURG GUIDE

2011-03-04T11:22:00.000Z

Blah, blah, blah, St. Pauli. Blah, blah, blah socialists, Blah, blah, blah transvestites.

We've done a piece for FourFourTwo on Hamburg, you should read it here.

If you plan on going, drop us an email before hand and we'll recommend some other bits that didn't fit in the article.

See, we told you we could write!

ACHIEVE BY UNITY

2011-03-02T14:27:00.003Z

The title of this blog post refers to the motto of Yeovil Town and, last night, it felt very relevant. We achieved three points by uniting with the Yeovil players. Or Yeovil united with us by ensuring they fluffed their lines on the limited occasions the home side should have capped their second half performance with an equaliser. It was a great night in the end though, and made the long trip excellent. I must admit, however, that my journey home was barely long as I embarked on a car trip to a friend's house near Gillingham (that's Dorset not the hellhole in Kent).

Huish Park has the famous adjacent beer tent which we frequented pre-match and, it has to be said, makes a mockery of places like the Enigma in Milton Keynes. The entertainment was not the quality it had been down in Yeovil last season but it is probably the best beer tent in Division Three and, should we win promotion, it will be sorely missed.

The biggest worry from last night was the idea of nervousness. It's not something that we've encountered all season but could we be nervous of winning the title? It certainly looked that way second half as our normal, quality, short passing game became a deep lying back four who desperately hoofed the ball forward to a diminishing (in numbers at least) attack who failed to hold the ball up. It was almost as if we stooped to a Yeovil level in a game that had heart rates across Sussex in panic mode. This could happen further over the final fifteen matches so do remember that some relaxing excercise (such as walking) should be taking place after an Albion match. Let us hope that the relaxing Albion performances come back in to our lives. Especially considering we're still top - and by quite some distance - but the last two performances seem to suggest that panic could be setting in.

Hold on, this next month will be quite a (blue and) white knuckle ride but, come April, the stars may well be within our grasp. Keep the faith. We know Micky Adams can't have any faith left.