9 April 2009


Scunthorpe is a strange place. Not the most exciting introduction to a match report but certainly the most factual you’ve read in these pages this season. And so an even stranger season rolls into Scunthorpe, did we really think we could repeat that great win when we were up here a few seasons ago? Luckily for such an odd place it’s got a Samuel Smith’s (SS – get it Ed?) pub within staggering distance of the “ground”.

I say ground because really it’s a meccano kit that some dodgy building firm were flogging cheap in the 90’s. I don’t subscribe to the theory that says at least it’s a ground with a roof. Its represents everything that’s wrong with design in this county, a shit hole of the highest proportion, end of.

For those who don’t know SS’s beer is as cheap as they come, and luckily this enables you to get well on your way before the game has even started. And so after one too many pints (Taddy Larger sadly missing) and a short stroll through some of England finest generic retail park architecture you reach the Bescot away end. But it wasn’t quite as simple as that. Just as we’re leaving said pub, Albion’s own Poet L'OrĂ©al has cornered me in a haze of SS induced passion. I leave none the wiser having been subjected to an Attila rallying cry of classic proportion.

“2-0 down at half time, several coppers attacked and injured in the 2nd half, you really should have been there” Maybe John would like to set the record straight in these here pages?

As you entered Glanford Park (furthest entrance) I hope you all noticed the strange turnstile marked £10 that looked rather inviting. A respectable turnout from the Albion who remain in fine voice throughout despite the poor attempt to play the game we’ve come to see.

Scunthorpe do they best, auditioning for El Pres’s deep throat re-make, hitting wood at least 4 times in the first 45.

The theme from the Clash’s English Civil War rings out in the second half, why do we have to sing every song in our repertoire so dam quickly? If we could all slow down a bit we might get a few more verses in and a few less looks from scary children in the row in front.

A dodgy pen and the games over, although we still have time for some mildly amusing renditions of GOSBTS (the remix), coming to a Lancashire village near you soon (watch this space).

So Attila got the score right, 2-0, but more importantly will SS’s beer be on sale on the TSLR end of season party?

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