31 December 2010


Today saw the announcement of those honoured by the Queen for the New Year. There were few highlights as not one person on the list was connected with the Albion in any way. Howard Webb was honoured for services to football. Surely he should have been awarded with a knighthood for services to winding football supporters up. Well here at TSLR Towers, we've come up with our own list of knighthoods...

CBE (Contribution to Brighton Excellence)

Tony Bloom - services to Brighton. Without him we'd be nothing. He is an amazing man who throws money at a big new glorious stadium; sheds out cash for new players and isn't that bad at running either (we saw you Mr Bloom at Reading on the way back from Southampton).

Dean Cox - services to the paint pot. Luckily Cox with Orient knocked us out of the JPT early on meaning we had more time to concentrate on the League.

Adam El-Abd - services to Albion songs. Still by far the most entertaining of Albion songs revolves around our King of the Centre-Backs.

Peterborough Today - services to bad losing. The newspaper didn't take too kindly to us passing the ball in the away win there. How dare we?

Our contributors - services to the fanzine. They all write, sell and get pictures and in return get, oddly, a whole pint. Contributors, we salute you.

Christian Baz - services to penalties. The next time we get a league penalty then bring this boy on as the winning spot kick at Woking was the BEST ALBION PENALTY EVER.

Ruffian Badges - services to coats. Our limited edition badges were more popular than the fanzine ever has been.

OBE (Order of Brilliant Entertainment)

Gus Poyet - services to post match interviews. Gus has single handedly turned the BBC SCR post match interviews into something we can truly appreciate come win, lose or draw.

Kazenga LuaLua - services to speed and gymnastics. Have you ever seen anyone so damn fast on a football pitch? And if all else fails, he could compete in the 100m or the gymnastics come 2012.

Craig Noone - services to the December transfer window. Well, we couldn't not mention him having spent that £300k before the transfer window officially opened.

Ashley Barnes - services to Portuguese fighting. The pre-season tour of the Algarve was exquisite and the entertainment value increased when Barnsey began what ended up being quite a mass brawl.

Fran Sandaza - services to looking like a horse. This sexy beast of a Spanish man has helped us win games, looked uncomfortable as a footballer and looks like a bloody horse.

The whole team - services to passing a football (to each other). Never has an Albion side possessed such patience, such coolness and such class. Long may it continue.

Mauricio Taricco - services to comebacks. This man hadn't played a league match since 2004 but came back for the Woking FA Cup away match to get called Inigo Calderon by ESPN and then sent off in extra time. Entertainment indeed.

MBE (More Bloody Excuses)

John Farries - services to seeing things that never happened. This is the shocking linesman who gifted Bournemouth a late equaliser at the Withers through a bizarre injury time penalty award.

Glen Murray; Elliott Bennett; Chris Wood - services to goalkeepers. Some seasons go by without us being awarded many penalties. This season we've missed what feels like hundreds.

Charlie Oatway - services to sexism. As reported in TSLR025, Charlie was inappropriate in the board room following the win at FC United (well, a small, balding member of the Albion coaching staff was). Sort it out Chas.

And that's the lot. Thanks to everyone who has helped us out in any way this past calendar year. Wishing you all a happy and prosperous 2011, and wishing Albion a successful title charge. See you all bleary eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow.

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