13 December 2011


Saturday at Middlesbrough was disappointing in a number of totally expected ways and the less written about the actual defeat the better. What wasn't expected was my attendance. I was meant to be saving money but when offered the offensive amount of money to make the journey, I just couldn't resist. The Albion have a hold on me. And I have a problem. An addiction perhaps.

There weren't many home fans up on Teeside (they should definitely sing Tee, Tee, Teesiders - maybe they do) but there seems to be many empty seats in football grounds across the country at the moment. The attendance was around the 16,000 mark which is even less than Falmer. One 'supporter' made us giggle on the trip back from Middlesbrough to Darlington as he talked passionately about his team's performance yet then has the audacity to ask who their best player had been as he hadn't been to the match. The young man was heading for a night out in Darlo instead. After spending excessive finances on the day trip, I can't party - in Darlington or anywhere - for awhile now.

There was one highlight however and that is what I've termed The Culinary Tour of Middlesbrough...

Cake: Last season when we baked cake we won until theat disastrous day at Hartlepool when cupcakes (and us) never made the match. This season not even a cinnamon and Nutella cake could do the business against a top half team. Massive thanks to the chef though who made a real name for himself in the taste department. TSLR Towers are now accepting orders.

Parmo: Following the match, there was only one option left for us to get involved with. The parmo - according to the BBC - is "a classic Parmo is a chicken or pork fillet that is beaten until it is flat and roughly the size of half a pizza box, covered in breadcrumbs, then fried. Then b├ęchamel sauce and a layer of cheese (strangely not parmesan) is added and it’s grilled." Hilariously it's served with chips in a pizza box and - as the Guardian put it - a sarcastic amount of salad. Due to my incredibly small stomach, I had a small - or as they call it on Teeside - a 'ladies' washed down with some more beer. So you can imagine the picture of health I looked at Hackney Marshes the following morning.

**This blog may or may not have been written following the revelation that there was no space in TSLR035: The Christmas Issue for another pointless match report about how drunk we were / what we ate at an away game**

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