EXCLUSIVE: INTERVIEW WITH CONTRIBUTOR

Seeing as we have failed spectacularly to change the Portugal 2010 logo on the top of this blog and as we failed to secure the much sought after interview with Tony Meola in this month's issue, why not enjoy our interview with TSLR contributor Agent G and his thoughts from the trip to Portugal that would otherwise be sitting on the cutting room floor for TSLR021:

TSLR: What was the best thing about going to Portugal?
Agent G: The beautiful girls of Albufeira beach - were the Albion out there too? Oh yeah - training was boring, the games were lackadaisical, well maybe the second one wasn't, the rest of it was lovely. Sun, sand, sea, pedalos, and roundabouts. Also I lashed in an unexpected cracker on the training pitch of Ferreiras with my (weaker) left foot which all the TSLR crew saw (and were kindly reminded of 6,752 times).

TSLR: What was the worst thing about going to Portugal?
AG: Being embarrassed by some of the thicko's who wear the colours of the Albion. Players for not behaving themselves, Gus for not even apologising regardless of whose fault the fight was, and Albion fans booing the equally responsible Portimonese players off the pitch. I'll also say feeling like I was going to die on the pedalo after a big night out the previous evening.

TSLR: Which Albion player were you most impressed with in the Algarve?
AG: Gary Dicker - you just don't get that sort of tan without some hard hours spent sweating on the sun loungers. Batti boy looked alright. Glenn Murray never ceases to amaze me - walking into Ferreiras ground with 5 minutes until kick off substitute Glenn decided he was going to display his set piece prowess and spent ages lining up a free kick aimed at the vacant goal. Having eyed up the logistics of the shot, and performed a Jonny Wilkinson rehearsal with walk, mental picture of the shot, and run-up he then proceeded to smash the ball straight out of the ground.

TSLR: How ridiculous was the battle of Ferreiras?
AG: Completely - the first thing I saw was Gus walking onto the pitch, next thing you know almost everyone in the ground is on. The game was getting niggly, and El-Abd and I think Gary Hart had just put in a couple of crunching tackles which they didn't like. It was funny to see some very camp looking police strolling on to the pitch, some with hands on tazer guns, some writing up notes on their clipboard, even the little boys selling ice-cream got on seeing if they could tempt Navarro with a cheeky Magnum.

TSLR: The funniest moment of the trip?
AG: After the random fat man on the pitch in Ferreiras, it was reminiscing about the previous night's attempt to return to the hotel, which included hiding in a cupboard, being awoken by sprinklers after laying down on the most comfortable roundabout I have ever slept on, and running down the road with the heaviest sun lounger being chased by an imaginary army of 10,000 police.

TSLR: The thing about the season you’re now most looking forward to that you weren’t pre-Portugal?
AG: The announcement of next pre-season's tour of Uruguay, doing the Pokey Pokey in honour of our new jug-eared goalkeeper, and finishing top of the red card table.

Tune in tomorrow for some equally exciting Portuguese action from another contributor who only made the cutting room floor.