THE 3 RULES OF WARMTH

Brighton and Sussex has been equally blessed and cursed with snow over the last week or so, and while it's ubershizer that maybe your plane didn't leave Gatwick, or you were stuck in East Croydon over-night on a train, don't think the bone-rattling chill is over ... We're playing in Bury and Huddersfield this week.

We do care for your wellbeing at TSLR, so here's 3 tips to beat frostbite on your red/white rose adventures.

1.  Thermals - Longjohns (see above) are essential football attire over the cooler months.  From December to February only the most foolish, or fattest, Albionite will deny his pins the constant pressure of cotton jeggings, while they also provide epics LOLS when catching a glimpse of the emasculting garment in your bedroom mirror.  Pick some up in primark for a couple of quid, or if London based splash out on the luxury Uniqlo pantaloons.

2.  Bovril - Temptingly described by Wikipedia as a "thick, salty meat extract", Bovril was invented by a scotsman for Napoleon's marching armies in the 1870's but soon found favour amongst Brits who revelled in the new beef-tea.  Alas, Bovril is not as big as it used to be and is rarely seen outside football stadia - in fact, Peter Ward breeding League 2 upstarts Burton Albion have a Bovril Stand.  Now available to buy at grounds in cappuccino-esque takeaway cups you can be all postmodern and warm yourself from the inside out at the same time.

3.  Wetherspoons - Sometimes the amount of layers worn and salty beef extract consumed will not appease the risk of hyperthermia and shelter must be taken.  Some fans will trek through crap inner-city northern slums in search for that real ale pub selling Old Rotten Badger or Dingle Witch Best, and fair play to them, but sometimes the sight of a glowing 2 meals for £6 poster is like the star to the 3 wise men.  Wetherspoons is often a microcosm of british life and after tucking your colours away you can join whichever wretched social group you want.  TSLR is planning on assuming the role of old pisshead at the Bury branch, and northern tart at the salubrious Huddersfield inn (above).