14 April 2011


When I picked up my promotion Argus yesterday morning, I stumbled across the letters page and could only laugh hysterically at the Hove residents crying about how it had been a Brighton Marathon on Sunday rather than a Brighton and Hove Marathon. So here at TSLR Towers, we thought why not do away with Hove altogether? It is a bit rubbish compared to its outlandishly cool neighbour so we've replaced the word 'Hove' with 'Food' and it means we can write a loosely Albion themed blog of drivel that can only roll up in your back pocket if you print it off. And I wouldn't bother doing that if I were you.

Like our gardening column a few weeks back, here is our all time Albion line-up complete with ridiculously poor food product based puns. We have used as many of the current crop as possible - seeing as they are fast becoming total bloody legends.

1. Peter Breadovan - our second choice keeper is more of a Granary bloke than a Mighty White. Although, his performance at Stoke suggests he went a bit stale having been on the side this season.

2. Mauricio Taco - one of the finest assistant managers to ever grace an Albion full-back position. Comes with a wonderful chile (or should that be Argentina) and option of cheese, sour cream, guacamole and salad.

3. Kerry Mayo - this ginger haired mayonnaise goes with almost anything on our Albion menu. Particularly good when added to Mauricio Taco.

4. Radostin Quicheishev - the inspiration for this entire elongated blog ramble. The Radostin quiche is less of a Lorraine and more of an animal. Contains tomato as it is so red in complexion.

5. Steve Cook - how on earth would we eat all these player inspired dishes if we didn't have someone to play the role of TSLR chef?

6. Therry Bacon - the on-loan Charlton player impressed during his spell at the club but has really got nothing on earning his bacon in the Danish style of Casper Ankergren.

7. Liam Brid(lamb)cutlet - bit of a poor one this, but the cutlet part of a lamb is gorgeous, just like Liam's wonderstrikes this season. The lamb reference is down to the fact he's only a baby.

8. Gary 'Spotted' Dicker - what better way to supplement a meal than with a classic pudding known as the 'Irish Zidane' spotted dick?

9. Francisco Sandwichaza - why not use Peter Breadovan for your sandwich. With a filling of horsemeat and horseradish sauce obviously.

10. Sebastian Ca(sse)role - the word casserole comes for the French word for saucepan. This one is perfect when filled with lamb or horsemeat but struggles to cross the dining room floor to the table.

11. Paul McDonald(s) - the only burger that beats the stomach once but forces regurgitatation if only to attempt beating it again despite usually ending in failure. Found in Scotland, but is so small sometimes goes unnoticed.

So that's it - we're playing the orthodox 3-6-1 formation and of course they'd be managed by Russell Salad with Darren Currie, Colin P(l)ates and Zeke Rowe sitting on the bench. Until our next Albion XI loosely themed ramblings, thank you, and goodnight. I'm off to lunch.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you're fired