26 May 2012


Flair Play. In honour of Tom Stewart and the Albion's flairtastic prominence under Gus Poyet, our penultimate question in this year's end of season survey asked who the flair player of the season. Of course, it must be stated that the question was pondered at the end of March - just after a certain player had bared his chest against Pompey and pretended to be Maradona against Derby so the results in the main are pretty obvious. And it gave us the excuse to publish this rather exciting picture of El God himself - a picture that allowed TSLR to award this season's 'Turner Prize' to Vicente Rodríguez Guillén for making every heterosexual Albion fan seriously contemplate themselves in the mirror of sexuality.
But of course we asked you to consider a few other things that weren't necessarily positive footballing attributes like red and yellow cards, Lorenzo Pinamonte style laziness, own goals and criminal offences. The things that make Flarniacs adored the West Stand over. That latter criminal category especially was particularly fruitful this season with a few players still facing the prospect of appearing before a court this coming summer and many more subject to fines and/or driving bans. Never have we seen Albion players on the front page of an Evening Argus and suited since the glorious days of a coke fuelled Robert Codner (talking of which TSLR040 is almost certain to be a Codner special with unsubstantiated rumours of Perry Digweed-Robert Codner binges galore).

Who would be your FLAIR player of the season and why? Please consider disciplinary record, good looks, lack of effort, goals and criminal offences in your answer...
Vicente, enough said... (@seagull32) // Vicente, naturally (Brian Riggs) // Ole Ole Ole Ole Vicente Vicente, no doubt, 7 games, 6 assists, 2 goals and I remember a sensational assist vs. Leicester, and of course, the man is gorgeous (LorenzoBHAFC) // Vicente's return and the influence that has brought with it makes him Flair player of the season... if his final shot before coming off against Derby had gone in it may well have been goal of the season (@Matt_J_Lewis ) // Vicente. Any other answer, apart from Billy Paynter, is redundant (@bishthebash) // Vicente. Class when fit. Better than most when not (Tory Boy) // Vicente. Best player ever in the stripes. Comes complete with his own force field. Sees passes even before the team has been announced (Monkey Man) // Vicente. Cos he is the definition of the word (ColBol).
Vincente... Plays when he wants (Maski) // Vicente of course. A wiggle of the hips and three defenders fall to the floor (@notguspoyet) // Vicente - Just because of the anticipation that he brought to the club with his signing, and now after the long wait, and the disappointment when he didn't even make the bench, he's finally doing it on the pitch! (Barry Hilton) // Vicente - even the white tape around his wrist screams class (Regency Gull) // Vicente, got the lot, skill, technique, good looks, probably got a big cock as well (@dazpaine) // I tried to be creative here, but its pointless. Its Vicente, isn't it. Ridiculously flair (simon h) // Vicente because at times this season he has fitted all these categories bar the last one (Tony Meolas Loan Spell).
Vicente, he goes through players like a hot knife through butter (Dowling93) // Vicente. Didn't think i'd ever see as gooder player at the Albion. His technique is at another level. Love it when you see him do something that only world class player can do (Dawesy) // Vicente. He is the epitomy of flair (Rickhebs) // Vicente standing, hands on hips, waiting for one of our boys to win him the ball is a memory that leaps to mind (Boz) // Its that's Vincente fella mi lad. Best player I've ever seen in (and out of) a Brighton shirt (Marvellous Marv) // Vicente. Needs to commit more crimes though. Maybe next season (Ste).

One of the youngsters, if you know what I mean (sharpey38) // Lewis Dunk for his 'handywork' (watsongooal) // Lewis Dunk. Which other Brighton player would attempt a Cruyff turn. On himself. In his own penalty area. Against Liverpool. Football genius (Kumquat) // Its a toss up between Jara Reyes and Vicente. Jara Reyes because he got kicked out of the Chile squad for going on the piss, then arrested pre match, his red card and general thuggish behaviour on the pitch. Vicente, well, I don't think I need to explain (middletoenail) // Jara Reyes: The king of the backheel-nutmeg (MBH).

Bridcutt pretty much has all of these, great goals at wrong end and a disciplinary record bar none (@shadyseagull) // Nooney, even though the sunbed/fake tan has left him looking like something out of Desperate Scousewives (@ImMrBrightside7) // Buckley... Goals goals goals (runs down the wing... For me personally) (@klinski1970) // Will Buckley. Not very often you see on opposition player get taken off because they can't handle them (Dan Harding). Great hair, scruffy 70s throwback, languid Chris Waddle style (@davidrbiggs).
Not many people know that 'flair' is also a Scottish word meaning 'floor'. For this reason, the Scottish sometime-headcase Gordon Greer seems to fit the bill as, on occasion, he'll put an opposition player on the 'flair' for seemingly little reason. He is also developing a Zidane-style bald spot, which is 'flair' in the more conventional sense. Something for everyone (JohnnyS) // El Abd and Greer...making ugly football so damn gooood (Jon) // Adam El Abd, modern day football genius! (Tim Over Whelmed).
Billy Paynter without a doubt. Had nothing else so surely he's made a living on flair alone (@Seagull81) // Noonie (weststander) // Billy Paynter (Charlie from Birmingham) // Calderon, he was flair even at the withers (levski seagull) // Senor Taricco. Whether gesticulating in the technical area in a scowl and a puffa jacket or marauding on the overlap with long sleeves and short socks, he is, and always will be, the EPITOME of flair (brightonrock) // Tano. I only wished he could play with his shirt zipped up over his face (Jem Stone).
Matt Sparrow, for 2 red cards (matt_32510) // Disciplinary record: Sparrow; Good Looks: El Abd; Lack of effort: CMS; Goals: Greer; Criminal offences: Reyes and several others (Jim D) // Romain Vincelot. Dashingly handsome, flairtastic name a straight red within 5 minutes vs Burnley and an absolute bullet header from the edge of the box vs Coventry (Xander/SeagullSongs) // Vinceolot - the accent, style...the ENIGMA (Fan-with-no-name).
Ryan Harley. Occasional bursts of skill, languid style, shocking penalty against Millwall, ginger hair - the lad's got it all (itszamora) // Ryan Harley - Arrives, scores a wonder goal, becomes abysmal, disappears into Gus' bottomless pit of central midfielders (Robbie Eyles) // Michael Poke (@NickJ4797) // LuaLua - hop, skip, jump (seagurn) // Ankergren. Smoking is cool (Carter) // Jake Forster-Caskey is sex on legs and a rather tasty player too (JFC Phwoar!).

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