LIBERAL DEMOCRATS ARE WANKERS

I’ve just got back from Liberal Democrat Party Conference in Brighton for my company (proper work, not TSLR). Whilst there, I marveled at loads of fools - made up of Liberal Democrat politicians, Oxbridge-schooled lobbyists and filthy PR’s. It was heartbreaking stuff - realising that these people have some sort of power and influence in an increasingly disappointing and morally bankrupt country. That, though, is beside the point of this post. Ahead of Conference, I heard all sorts of slurs about Liberal Democrats - opinion in the media puts them somewhere near ‘unelectable in a generation’ which can’s be far from the truth. But I think a better description for them is ‘wankers’ (like the Ginger rat Danny Alexander, pictured above showing just what size of wanker he thinks he is).

But then as a Brighton fan, we’ve been saying that they’re wankers for years. The reason? Two men. David Bellotti and Norman Baker. One of the biggest disappointments of this year’s Conference was that I didn’t bump into Bellotti. He was due at a fringe event (pictured above) but I only realised after it had happened and I thought he’d probably cancel anyway, for fear of running into Robbie Fowler (well his wife did the last time they met at the Grand Hotel, hoy, hoy). Had I seen him, I suspect I wouldn’t have a job now - a charge of assault whilst representing the proper company I work for probably won’t have improved any already unlikely career progression.

Norman Baker I did see. But here’s the thing. Whilst he opposed our beloved Falmer Stadium, he isn’t such a bad man. Sure, he fucked us over for a couple of our nomadic Withers years but he did it because he thought that’s what the majority of his affluent constituents wanted. And let’s face it, they probably did. If it was such a crime to oppose our great stadium, he wouldn’t still be a Member of Parliament. In the 2010 General Election, Baker actually increased his share of the vote. His support for a second London to Brighton rail line these days is welcome for those of us who have to travel from the capital to the Amex each week. I mean he’s a Liberal Democrat wanker, but he’s no Bellotti.

For those unaware, Bill Archer’s lapdog Bellotti is still a serving Liberal Democrat (and Cabinet Member no less). After helping his boss sell the Goldstone, he was ousted as an Eastbourne councillor by the local Liberal Democrat party. But like so many weasels who get ousted from a local political party, he moved from Eastbourne Liberal Democrat circles to Bath and North Somerset ones. You can view his particularly ugly mug over on their council website here. But therein lies the problem with political parties - if a councillor ruins their chances with their voters in one area, they just move on to another. British democracy can truly be horrifying.

So here’s our message, if you’re a Lyncombe ward resident in Bath and North East Somerset Council, vote for someone other than Bellotti in May 2015. If you see Norman Baker, tell him that the Albion have done more for boosting the economy of his constituents than he ever has.