22 May 2012


So we went to the realms of fantasy with this one. Beyond the seat expansion - an ambitious and potentially profitable move that is necessary but may make us look a little like Wigan when we draw Gillingham in the first round of the League Cup - we wanted your imaginations to run wild with your other future plans for Falmer. And wild they did run.

Highlights include monkey knife fights, Fanny's Bar to rival Dick's, a pitchside jacuzzi, slides and Vicente's image plastered on seats as well as being mown into the grass. Tucked in amongst those wonders is some really quite brilliant and serious suggestions like safe terracing, beers in seats , more frequent trains or a new Lewes to Brighton Monorail as well as a live Gus Cam. All in all, TSLR Towers is quite convinced that, should all these suggestions be taken forward, the seemingly un-improvable Falmer could indeed be improved. Thanks for all your hard work and enjoy dreaming about the future...

Apart from the proposed expansion, what extras would you like to see at The Amex? 

Beers in seats (know it won't happen) (Soul Finger) // A special tslr banner in the ground (@seagull32) // Heated seats (Brian Riggs) // Massive expansion to the toilet facilities (@Matt_J_Lewis) // Would love an enormous pub with adjacent parking! (@markhiggs71) // Something that zaps the twat behind me who keeps kicking my seat (@ImMrBrightside7) // Some propa fuckin house music. All dis radio1 shit is embarrassing (T-bone da T-Rex) // Crispy duck pancakes (Paul Baron) // Maybe a live feed to the dressing room at half-time so we can see what a Gus team talk looks like! (Ed Woodhouse) // Vicente painted seats (Ali_rrr).
A St. Pauli-style sausage train, obviously (JohnnyS) // Little bottles of Strongbows, like the Fosters. And mandatory moonying at the South Stand when we score (@bishthebash) // Strip bar in the North (Tory Boy) // A personal guarantee from Tony Bloom that steak and ale pies will always be available - 1901 membership offered as compensation for any out-of-stocks (Monkey Man) // Champions League football... UEFA cup if that's too much too ask (ColBol) // A false ceiling on the north stand so the sound goes out better and of course the monorail between Lewes and Brighton to whisk us all home that much quicker (gazwag) // Bigger bars open to family, cafe open on non match day weekend days (weststander) // Betting shop! And being able to have a drink in other parts of the ground before the game (Maski) // Dare I say safe standing? (brightonrock).
Space hoppers. And a Space hopper lane on the A27 to help speed traffic away (@notguspoyet) // A beer pump at my seat (matt_32510) // A revolutionary new transport system allowing teleportation to and from your seat, A Gus Cam providing views of Mr Poyet's antics for the entire 90 minutes, and a button whereby Richard Reynolds can be electrocuted on command for our entertainment (itszamora) // Seating around the edges of the concourse, smiling kiosk staff and opposing fans from Premiership teams! (Tim Over Whelmed) // Dark Star APA and a betting shop (Jim D).
I'd like to have a 'Turienzo Hot Tub' on the sideline. This would contain all my Albion flair icons (including Federico obviously) - you know like, Christian Baz, Lee Hendrie, Nick Ward and Joe Dolan basically having a 90 minute orgy with females of their choosing (Tom Stewart) // A slide exit from the West Upper (@demonkarlos) // Wifi and chips (@dazpaine) // A stone fireplace in the East Stand, and 'flue powder' to instantly transport me to my lounge, Harry Potter-style (simon h).
A massive slide taking you from the North Stand to Brighton Station, maybe with a few twists in it (watsongooal) // A pre-match massage room, for players to back-rub female STHs. Buckley to run down my wing (Fan-with-no-name) // A big hot tub in the empty South West corner. All of Gullys Girls would be in it, and that would be the prize of the lottery. A seat in the hot tub (@brettmendoza) // Heated floors, the concrete gives me frostbite during winter (@tilzo15) // I'd like the grass to be mown in the shape of Vicente's face (Robbie Eyles).
Terrace in the north stand, Those people who serve beer in the terraces and Messi (Drumstick) // A monorail to the university car parks (Rickhebs) // Bobby Zamora in a Brighton shirt (Harry Hartley) // Withdean firework man to move to Falmer (@elbowpatches) // I want Scott McGleish to play there (Carter) // A seedy strip bar called 'Fanny's bar' where Gully's Girls best attributes can be truly appreciated. The players MUST visit the bar until 3am after every match and women (bar the 'performers'), children and away fans are banned. Smoking cigars and drinking whiskey is encouraged (WhingForPresident).
A bar for me and Gullys Girls only. Gully can keep out...been out with ugly birds but Gully is ugly (Rosca Seagull on the Wing) // Standing area (seagurn) // MORE TRAINS. Gullys Girls touring the concourse at full time. Some grass expansion so you could have summer events and BBQs (@davidrbiggs) // A remote control in my seat which enabled to electric shock the referee, take a piece of clothing off gully's girls! and, a massive water slide to the sea for SeagLOL's (Billy) // Lasers, foam party for Gully's Girls, trap door under the away dugout for odious managers like Warnock, and Adkins... (Jon).
Speed dating. Public stocks for whingers/people who say with genuine confusion 'why aren't we just getting it forward' or any variation on that theme. Hmm segways, a long long travellator from The Evening Star direct to the Amex, Monkey Knife Fights at half time (JonathanLivingstonSeagull) // The Shot and He Scored pub on the car park with huge statue of Wardy outside it. A great big sign facing the A27 saying 'Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty' (Whitley Bayster) // Not a thing. Leave as is (@benrawlings77) // Apart from piping Harveys direct to the seat or free lap dancing I can't think of much (Bitter & Twisted) // 1. More frequent peak time trains ; 2. Machine gun posts and elephant traps for our chums from South London ; 3. Betting shops ; 4. Massage booths (Boz) // Gullys girls (the fit ones at least) moving to the back of the north stand would be nice (Ste) // A nude calendar like the 1 done by Huddersfield (JFC Phwoar!) // A miles-wide-of-the-mark goading gormless banner to be unveiled in the away end 5 mins before kick off every week, to really get the atmosphere going (Parker).

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