WE ARE THE YOUNG BRIGHTONIANS

Young Brightonians (or adopted ones at least) who study Graphic Design at the Uni exhibited their work on Brick Lane the other week, we're a bit late so unfortunately you have missed it, but check their nice stuff here.

I do not undertand why the club don't link up with these prodigies to do some cool merchandise, I wouldn't mind if they wanted to help us (if anybody knows one of the fuckers, put them in touch).

PRENTON PRICE

It's all kicking off in Birkenhead. Our League 2 cod-scouse cousins Tranny Rovers have perhaps invested in the wrong sort of accountants to sell their club - read the official statement below!

"As fully documented in the Liverpool Daily Post earlier this year, Tranmere Rovers Chairman Peter Johnson has appointed Dornoch Capital to broker a sale for his shares in the Club to a responsible US investor.

However, Mr Johnson was very disappointed to discover that Dornoch Capital had chosen ebay.com as a route to find a potential buyer and would not have given permission for them to do so had he been asked. Mr Johnson has instructed Dornoch to remove the ebay listing immediately."

The BBC reported that it was on for for 10,000 000 'buy it now'. Brilliant.

CLASSIC ARGUS QUOTES #3

Dodgy journalistic musings have been thrown over various copies of the Argus recently, in this our third instalment of how to write tripe newspaper articles.

"Comment: Spiller's a Winner. I am, so to speak, about to spill the beans. When Albion divulged details earlier this week about a hat-rick of trialists, attention inevitably centred on one-time England international Michael Ricketts and former Seagull Dan Harding. They are, in fact, more likely to sign their other lower-profile trialist, Danny Spiller."
Andy Naylor, The Argus, 16 July 2009

"The Albion have, meanwhile, ended their interest in trialists Danny Spiller and Andres Chronis."
Andy Naylor, The Argus, 30 July 2009

TSLR Comment : "Naylor surpasses himself back in mid-July by referring to a tin of baked beans that just so happens to be a famous saying that contains five letters of the player's name. Clever stuff, but what really lets him down is his speculative assertion that the Albion would sign Danny Spill(the beans)er. When this signing fails to materialise, the relevation is hidden at the bottom of a story about Billy Sharp some two weeks later."

WEBCAM PRAISE

Well done everyone involved in the Falmer Webcam, it's very good. I was especially pleased that the club have thought about interior design even at this early stage by putting in some bamboo shoots on the left, Bloom must've seen it on Changing Rooms or something, but either way Falmer is well on the way to being one of the finest stadiums of it's size in the world.

LIFE IS (NOT) A CABARET

Club Press Release Alert !!!

Our 'blue sky thinking' press department have posted a PR on the ever-fabulous seagulls.co.uk regarding fan wank-bank fodder and all round top dancers Gulloids Girls.

We'll pay £30 if somebody goes and follows the auditions and get's some pictures. It's at the Pyramid (Burgess Hill's Got Talent) on Sunday 9th August. Why it's the day after the first home game of the season we don't know.

More info here!

MESSTIVAL ROUND UP

Naturally, the highlight of any festival is when you get to see a reasonably drunk man on a Saturday afternoon wearing a pair of tight Albion shorts circa 1997. Was that you or did my drunkenness invent the whole silly episode? Unfortunately, there is no photographic evidence of him at the Secret Garden Party the weekend just gone so you'll have to cope with seeing a video of Those Dancing Days who rocked the main stage on Sunday afternoon a little like they did here a couple of years ago. Brighton DJs Evil Nine were fooking excellent on Saturday night as were the Latin Dub Soundsystem. That's 3 bands to get googling if you need something to occupy you until opening day of the season, I'm off for a shower.

GARCONS

In the fashion business they often talk about 'the new season', albeit in a slightly different context than plebs like us. On a recent perusal of the wonderful Comme De Garcon e-shop I came accross this suitably on trend yet Albion-y wallet. It's £113 and if somebody wants to buy one for me that's fine. Usual address.

Long term, is it alright if I start a Sunday-Glossy-esque fashion suppliment in the mag? It may bump the cover price up by to about £3 but it's time you dropped the whole Stone Island thing darling.

YOU'VE CALLED THE SEAGULL LINE

I'm so fucking angry with Seagulls World. I'm just using a PC at work, a normal computer like most people have, all I wanted to do was meet Matt Thornhill as the tantalising title reads.

No, I can't, and the reason being;

The service requires that you are using Internet Explorer version 6 or greater and Windows Media Player version 9 or greater. The service is not currently available on Macs.

Thing is, I'm not using a Mac and I'm not using Internet Explorer, pluuuuuuus I'm loathed to email those monopolising turds at Premium TV before you ask. Why can I watch some things on Seagulls World and not others. It should have read this;

The service you require is far too sophisticated a concept for either Premium TV or the quick to pass-the-buck Marketing department at the football club. We suggest you read the Argus online and 'imagine' the highlights.

The sooner this changeover happens the better, our club website is a disgrace, poorly designed, hard to navigate, difficult to use on virtually every browser going and with those eternally stupid banners at the top. The banners I detest the most are the Sky ones, I flatly don't subscribe to that cod-bravado ideology peddled by those miscreants in Isleworth.

Fuck off Seagulls World, bring back Seagull Line.

FOREST FIRE

So, seems we've been doing some deals with Forest on the sly. This is extremely refreshing compared to our other signings of the summer in that most of us have had no idea it was coming.

I don't think it would be wrong to suggest that many Albionites were hoping the deal for Lynch would go through, though he will leave us all with a sense of sadness as he was a Albion through and through and gave us some really good performances.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it only Coxy and Elphick that remain from our greatest youth team harvest? That itself raises a few questions, if you think back it's quite macrabre how the Wilkins bred golden boys - boys who got us to 7th in this very league without playing that well - have nearly all gone now. Though Cox and Elphick will now be considered two of our most important, if not senior, players from now on, I still feel slightly agrieved that our team of pure Sussex talent have not reached their true potential whilst wearing the stripes.

What we do have now though is Matt Thornhill, himself a product of the highly acclaimed Forest academy. I expect big things from the 6 foot plus midfielder, I know he is rated by the City Ground denizens and I imagine a move to the south coast presented him with much deliberation. Initially signed until early 2010, the whole things smats of long-term deal.

Thornhill will join up with probably the most exciting pre-season for quite some time, in the whole we seem to have brought in young, quality footballers in most positions. We all expect more players to sign and if the standard remains as is we all expect big points next season.

Ooooooh, exciting now!

CLASSIC ARGUS QUOTES #2

The second in our series of top class journalistic snippets from everybodies favourite Hampshire printed Sussex daily.

"The greatest day in the history of Albion’s opening pre-season friendly opponents tonight, Havant and Waterloovile, was playing at Anfield in the FA Cup. One of the greatest experiences for Albion’s towering new young centre half, James Tunnicliffe, was playing with the same Liverpool stars who saw off the plucky Blue Square south part-timers."
Andy Naylor, The Argus, 14 July 2009

TSLR Comment : "Exercising his senior sports writer muscle here, Naylor has used his famed 'thinking outside of the box' writing talent to link tonight's friendly opponants with one of our players trials as a youngster. It's local journalism at its best, both warm and friendly yet also using the syntax of an opening line in a rubbish comic "

DICK-HEADS

I'm not convinced about this Liam Dickinson business, too many people with no connections to Brighton and Hove Albion have been referencing Brighton and Hove Albion. News today has quotes from juvenile Goldstone bench warmer and all-round beedy eyed northern monkey Nigel Clough, remarking to the main Derby rag that he expects something to 'happen' this week. I can't help but wonder what happened to Dickinson at Pride Park though ... his subsequent, and regular, shipping out to League One clubs last season doesn't bode well either, especially as he didn't seem to impress at any of them.

I think it looks pretty certain that we'll sign this lad, and I hope that there was no bad reasons for Dickinsons constant omission from the teamhseet. the Stockport element at the Albion no doubt helped him make his mind up about the move down south, and from what I've seen, when he's happy, he scores goals.

The picture is courtesy of the Manchester Evening News, it show the erstwhile striker pulling down the shorts of his Assistant Manager at Stockport, this act was appartenly a backlash to the dressing room abuse he recieved on the subject of his taste in knickers.

"I've been getting a bit stick over my underwear, I wear pretty funky boxer shorts, bright colours, snakes and ladders on them and stuff like that"

SEXCLUSIVE FALMER PICTURE

Excuse the parentally advised title but seeing this picture made TSLR almost as sexually excited as when they saw Megan Fox in the new Transformers film. It could well have been an iconic image of epic disappointment but, thanks to Tony Bloom and his millions, this photo'll just be the start of many where we can actually work out where the pitch'll be. Before long, we'll all be able to grab some jumpers, tinnies and a football with the intention to jump the fence for late night matches on the sight of this incredible sporting arena.

FAT FOOTBALLER SCORES

Wowzers, this fat Brazilian footballer looks half decent but what we really like is the excitement of a South American commentator. Wonderful stuff to teach that BBC SCR twat (the poor man's Andrew Hawes) a thing or two - if only he had an ounce of this Brazilian exurberance TSLR would be happy. Still, it's nice to know that, even in our summer, there are places in the world that football continues to dominate.

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: ALBION PRE-SEASON

Want to know how the Albion have been getting on over the summer? Well, TSLR got hold of some magic footage of the boys getting a little excited in a friendly. We're assuming the black shorts were going cheap in that Stockport summer sale.

LAWRO LAWRO LAUGHS

Good article interview with Mark Lawrenson on some Liverpool site, he goes up in my estimation by not being derogatory about us for once!

Put your mouse here.

Anddddddd, does anybody know which team we're playing in this picture? Flair kit whoever it is.

SEAGULL SUPERSTORE

Something of a faux-victory for us at TSLR, our very first issue featured a rant about the quality of the club shop compared to others ... admittedly it was others on the continent where they are a bit more clued up on merchandise and that, but it was rant none the less.

Fast forward a year and the new Seagull Boutique is about to open it's doors, our favourite quote was from Manager Ian Green; "The new shop is cool". Maybe we should refer to him as just G from now on if he's going to use such flagrant yoof phrases.

The club have gone balls deep on the PR front for the ribbon cutting ceremony. In the void filled by the now departed Uncle 'y'know ... we're a big club' Dick. Keen shoppers will be able to see Gully and Dean White amongst others on the big day, why not pop in for an autograph.

Full report in TSLR011.

PLAYERS SPECIAL

Up north there is a word for 'steal' called crib - it kind of means a light herated theft, or theft without malice. I've never heard this in Brighton.

Anyway, I have cribbed something off NSC because I think it needs more exposure rather than being hidden away on the wonderful Ask The Club feature.

Basically, it seems that the old website platform (Seagulls *spit* World) is being repalced with a new system called Player. The main aspects of this are outlined on the Southend United website which I have reproduced below with prior permission you Essex knobbers.

- DRM-free videos, meaning access for PC, Laptops and Apple MACs
- Brand new Flash Player to replace the current Windows Media offering
- The introduction of full screen, 16:9 widescreen
- Upgrade to 1MB streaming for video (with 500k low-res option too)
- Near DAB quality audio commentary on matchdays
- All the latest news completely Advert-free
- New Flash-based Match Live Centre

So, all in all, that sounds pretty good, especially the Mac news, that is immense. The club have said it will be introduced "in the near future" ... I would urge that the club get on this right away.

DRIVEL PORTAL

A friend of mine was always visiting a website where all the news agencies and websites 'fed' their - in this case Man. City - articles into a central index.

I thought this was acers, just what I needed for an Albion internet fix that didn't involve NSC, yet when I searched Brighton And Hove Albion all I got was a pre-season review from some two-bit Norwich City blog.

Annoyed, I pondered that we were just a really small club with few stories worthy of a second look at the Reuters newsdesk.

But this as in fact not ture. Turns out I'd just been doing it all wrong and the aforementioned Man. City mate has thus sent me the correct link to get a host of Albion related garb.

The quesion is, should I post said link on here? As a highly professional HR practioner I fear that this new drivel-portal will hurt the economy as you lot spend more time pissing about online and less time boosting our fledging businesses.

CLASSIC ARGUS QUOTES #1

The first in a series of top class journalistic snippets from everybodies favourite Hampshire printed Sussex daily.

"The name might conjure images of South Africa's cricket captain for many sports followers in these parts but this Smith is himself something of a goalkeeping big-hitter."
Brian Owen, The Argus, 2 July 2009

TSLR Comment : "Owen has excelled himself with this cunning juxtapose; By making reference to the Albion's new keepers namesake he has opened up the opportunity to use a Cricket term, and as such, we read a witty but relevant pun"

FIN-TASTIC

This is not a face that will make you shake when putting the ball down to take a vital penalty kick!

It seems that Smith (pictured) is sporting a haircut once known as the Hoxton Fin, described by Wikipedia as such;

"The Hoxton Fin refers to a style of haircut popular with young men in the Hoxton and Shoreditch districts of London during the period 2000–2004. The style comprises two partings, one on either side, with the central portion of hair swept up in to a central crest, or "fin"; the back and sides remained cut short. While clearly related to the Mohawk hairstyle, the Hoxton Fin differs in having a roof of a cathedral than the fin of a fish."

Impressive.

FACEBOOK FAIL

Our friend in Turkey has sent us a link to probably the greatest Albion related Facebook group ever ... Get posting kids!

This is the Withdean Stewards Facebook Group.

Click Click!

TSLR IS OPEN!

Well, that went a bit quick, but here we go, The Seagull Love Review is offcially open for business after our holidays.

In the next month and a bit;

• News on new contributors
• More stuff about the actual football side of things
• Regular bloggings and that
• Some changes to the design (we're having a belated spring-clean)
  
• Info on our super-special-subscription for 09/10

We would love you to be involved in the mag this season, get in touch at tslr@hotmail.co.uk